I love my girlfriend but she’s going through a 1y depression (we’re together since 2016). She’s bringing me down and I’m not sure about what to do.

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I think the biggest thing to remember is that it’s not your job to fix her. It sounds like she’s feeling pretty isolated between family drama, quasi-long distance relationship, and crap job. On top of that, many cities in and of themselves feel extremely isolating and it’s often really difficult for people, especially girls, to make friends. I struggled for a while and my now husband would always try to fix it for me, offering very logical feedback. It drove me fkn crazy. You have to remember that it’s an emotional conversation rather than a logical one and be there to support and listen. If she’s unhappy with her job, I would encourage her to explore a change. We spend SO much time at work and your work environment can drag you down or build you up in ways we don’t even realize. If she finds the right work home, she may find a group she can really connect with and snowball into the change in scenery she needs to rise above the negatives. Overall, my advice would be to find new avenues to explore new scenery and meet people that you can connect with... that will help both of you in the long run. I wish you both the best!

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Hey there, wanna try to help.

https://hillsong.com/nyc/

Suffered with depression and this place gave me some answers. Feeling much better.

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Thank you so much. Sadly we’re in Europe, but I’ll try to find something similar here

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1. I still love her 2. I’m afraid of her taking her life (she tried a few years ago) 3. I’m sure I can’t stand more of this

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As someone who’s been in your position, you need to understand that if she dies by suicide, it’s not your fault. It’s a disease like any other, and it requires a strange amalgam of treatment to keep at bay. Staying in this now-toxic relationship will only eat away at you until you resent her enough to end the relationship, on a negative note, and she’ll be in the same position as if you were to end it today. If she’s at risk of seriously harming herself, she needs to be hospitalized immediately. A time-out from life to focus on treatment is the only thing that can help her. The relationship is just a band-aid, a distraction, that will harm your life and future relationships in ways you probably can’t understand yet. Make sure she has a support system and is in treatment, then move forward. It’s the best thing that you can do for the both of you.

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How bad is it?
Has she cut herself off from everyone but you? Is she in therapy?

I’m sorry, that is very tough. I think it’s also important for you to take care of yourself and not just try to help her. As others have pointed out, you may not be able to and it’s not your job.

I see you said you’re in Europe. Are there mental health services you can both talk to, so you and your gf get support. Does your health care plan offer some type of resource? Sometimes there are even government services that can help, and not for profits too.

Good luck OP.

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That’s gotta be really tough. Maybe you guys could try therapy together ?

Sounds like you have your answer then?

Sorry you’re going through this. I had a good friend took his life in November. In the states some people I know are being helped ketamine treatments. Do you have that there? Clinics (not self prescribed)

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