I met a girl 2 months ago. Started as friends and escalated to more 3 weeks ago. The whole time she kept telling me that I was kindest person she's met, the most manly man, she liked my strength and sensitivity. She said I gave her her most pleasurable "experiences".
Last week was the last time we spoke or saw each other. When i left she gave me a very long, tight hug. We were supposed to have plans today. I've been msging all week and being left on read.
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As someone who’s seen this happen before (minus the ridiculous threat), I’m almost confident she met someone else. She met someone and tried ghosting you, so you got confused and reached out (understandably because you had plans), and because she’s a coward, her response was to play the victim and threaten you. I’m not saying this to make you feel even worse because what she did is entirely unfair and cruel IMO. You sound like you truly cared for her so it’s her loss. You deserve better.


Bit thank you for the kind words



I’m sorry to hear how this is working out. Relationship or any trauma can cause some people to naturally become protective of themselves when they perceive a threat. (And there can be lots of perceived threats in the context of a romantic relationship even if you can’t “see” them on the surface.) Sounds like all you can do is respect her boundary, and feel sad about the loss. If she reaches out to you again you can enjoy that pleasant yet unexpected surprise and see if she’s open to explore what happened and see how you can proceed in a way that’s safe and respectful for both of you.

But yea it sounds like either you did something to cause her to need a solid boundary, or she may need some time to heal further before being in a romantic relationship.


You're probably right. It's just hard because she's the only woman I've met in 5 years that I thought it could go somewhere, and I don't meet many people to begin with. 😔


Try not to put too much meaning and cheer up! Maybe the god has much bigger plans for you. Sending you virtual hugs! 🤗


I sent her one more message because we were supposed to have plans tonight, and she said if I message, call, or visit her she will call the cops.
We've never had a fight. We had a few conversations about what we each want our future to look like and didn't see eye to eye on some minor things but we were still discussing it.
I know she has had relationship trauma in the past but I don't know what to make of this. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression especially in the context of being lonely, relationships, and meeting people. I'm just so confused and don't know what to make of this.
(I'm male, she's female).
Any insight, advice, shared experiences?

I wish you luck RSM.


What didn’t you see eye to eye about and how did that go if you don’t mind sharing a little detail?

We both believe in God and are of the same religion, just differ a bit on how religious we want to be. But we were both willing to compromise.
Definitely not atheist vs God or different religions so we didn't see it as a big deal

She sounds extreme. Unfortunately I would let this one go so she doesn’t follow through on her threat.

Thanks. I wouldn't call her a well adjusted adult. She is very mature but also early-mid 20s. On my suggestion she started therapy a month ago.
There aren't major details missing.
Personally I both get attached easily and have a very difficult time letting go of things, even with closure. But I have a therapist and I will definitely be discussing this.


Wow. No idea what might have prompted the lack of response? Were any of your messages to her expressing anger, maybe once you realized you were being left on read? & how many messages are we talking? Not trying to blame you for the situation, and if you were angry it’s 100% understandable - just asking because going from affectionate to threatening to call the cops is a huge leap. Is it possible she could have found out something concerning about your past, by Googling you for example?
Unfortunately the only thing you can really do at this point is delete her number, since she’s made it clear further contact is unwelcome. Sorry you’re in this situation. Seems she could have at least given a reason instead of ghosting you.

There is nothing concerning in my past for her to find.

It was about 4 msgs, I gave her a couple of days of space and then reached out to see if our plans would still be on.
This happened twice before except the other times she just apologized and said she wanted space and came back to me pleasant, so I didn't think following up now would be an issue. She also said before that it's not her style to ghost and she would never do that.

I've never expressed anger towards her now or in the past. I asked how she was doing and then after no response I said I was disappointed and that she was being disrespectful but I never said anything rude, threatening, or angry...obviously any of this would just drive someone away so it wouldn't be useful.

Some girls just go straight into relationship mode before they’ve figured it out. Don’t overthink it. She’s not into you.

She’s made her boundaries clear and her intentions even clearer should you cross her boundaries. She sounds like a nightmare. Let it go and don’t expect her to give you any closure. Time will help you get through it and you’ll be the more wiser next time around :)

I honestly wonder if we met the same person. Do you live in Boston? Lol

Haha well if it makes you feel any better, something very similar just happened to me!!

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