I need feedback. My bf of 2 years broke up with me because I lied about a certain friendship turned situationship I was in before we got together. The whole ordeal ended months before we got together but I kept contact with said situationship participant strictly as a friend as we had the same friend group during the early talking stages of me and my boyfriend’s relationship but I cut off all communication with said person as soon and things turned official.

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Eh, he was done anyway and took an easy out rather than working through it

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I agree. If he doesn’t accept your apology in a few days, I think there are other reasons behind the break up.

My husband and I have a strict don’t ask, don’t tell policy when it comes to relationships prior to ours. It works great. I never understood why people ask or tell about exes. No good comes out of that.

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OP - it’s simple. If he wanted to stay with you, he would see it your way. He does not want to be with you, so he sees it his way.

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I think the details are irrelevant. I think you nailed it when you said the word “lied.”

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Yup

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Would you like to get into a “situationship” with me? I’m married so it would be more of an “entanglement” for me.

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Keep shooting the ball kobe!

What’s a situationship?

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When Mike from Jersey Shore goes sailing? “Yo we got a situationship”

Good to learn something new everyday. Ships sink.

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You lied and denied. Don’t blame him one bit

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What was the lie? Seems kind of trivial to end things over this. I’m wondering if there were other reasons too. Something similar happened to my friend. Her fling ended things because she lied about something small, but in reality he had a thing for another girl. Not saying that’s what your situation is, but that there could be another reason why he ended things so abruptly.

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He’s mad but you didn’t sleep together? There’s something else going on with him - he’s either looking for an excuse to end the relationship, very inexperienced in relationships, or he saw something that made him think there’s still something between you two. Fact is relationships and flings happen before you get together and sometimes people aren’t comfortable talking about it in the early days, especially if that person is a part of their ‘friend group’. If after some discussions he’s still closed minded, he’s not the one for you. It’s tough to accept - many of us have been there. But any guy who was deeply in love with you would not care about a drunken kiss before you were officially together. Therapy or not.

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I haven’t spoken to or had ANY interaction with said person since except still following each other on IG (no likes or comments or dms) but my bf feels like I’ve lied throughout the whole relationship. does anything think I can fix this? He said he doesn’t care about what happened but mostly cares that I lied about it. Which I understand but I felt it was too personal and embarrassing to share. HELP

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Thank you PwC3 and PwC4 I really appreciate your input and time in writing our these responses.

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If he knows/you explained why you lied (it truly so traumatic that you had to go to therapy and didn’t want to think about such a terrible thing in your life for your own mental health) and is still acting like this then there are definitely other issues with HIM that you unfortunately have limited control over. You can’t control how someone else reacts to things, you can only control how you react. I agree with other responses that you should reach out in a non-pushy way but if he refuses to hear you out and talk then you’ll have to cut him off to preserve your own mental health.

I’ve been in a similar situation where my ex broke up with me out of the blue after 2 yrs for no reason (like... “I’m breaking up with you, i have no explanation other than I don’t want to be with you anymore”). It sucks super hard and it’s going to hurt really bad for a while. But I’m grateful for all the lessons i learned about myself during that time including that I’m stronger than i knew and survived that break up. I’m also grateful it ended because I (and you) deserve to be with a partner who *wants* to be with you 100% of the time through all the flaws and fights. Trust me, when you find that person who wants to be with you it will feel so different from being with this guy who’s breaking things off prematurely (currently in a relationship where i feel fully wanted).

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I think it would be hard to trust you going forward if I knew you lied about relationships in the past. I don’t think you can salvage your relationship with the BF. Just learn from this experience and don’t repeat in your next one.

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