I need feminism because my male coworkers would never be told that they need to sound more “caring and gentle” when speaking with clients 😡

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Male here- I’m results focused and was told the same thing because I️ was not taking the time to ease the client into the solution and was too focused on getting the job done, holding them to deadlines and sticking to the timeline

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My now wife had me take an online IQ test when we were dating. She scored one point higher than me, which she lords over me. Still, when she tells me to do something, i resist it, almost more so when I know she is right. Imagine how clients feel with overpaid, cocky shits from New York with absurd watches tell them how to do their jobs be better. Just because logic or analysis is on your side doesn't mean you'll convince anyone of anything. Consider the art of persuasion

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Make here. Been told the same EXACT thing. Seems my former military-style personality wasn’t always client friendly.

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Male here, army background. Been told this both in relationship with client as well as with coworkers. Apparently people have feelings and I didn’t know.

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Incorrect. That accurately describes my primary feedback over the last 8 months. Male here.

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I think this is one of the most common feedback areas in consulting. The early years are spent turning you into a robot who churns out slides then you have to learn to be a decent human again.

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Treating lack of soft skills with feminism is like treating lung cancer with cigarettes or treating fire with gasoline.

Feminism does equal feminine, and while feminine is often correlated with EQ, it’s actually EQ that helps in these interpersonal client settings.

You can develop your EQ - check out Emotional Capitalists by Martyn Newman.

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Male here. I’m actually with Op. I’m sure there are guys who received that feedback, but I oftentimes find myself checking my bias with female coworkers - and surprisingly noticing that i have some

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Take it easy A5. OP said it would “never” happen to male colleagues. This thread has clearly pushed back on that. Hopefully that makes her (presumably her) feel less singled out for being female. Sorry if you don’t like my direct style for which I am constantly told to be more caring and gentle. 😛

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A5 - all very good points for a different thread than this. OPs claim was specifically about the male experience, not her own, and it was incorrect.

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🍿

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Same here. Told to sound less robotic. Everything is not sexism

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Male here, been told to be more more gentle with clients. Kinda coddle them and not be brusque.

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If you are coming across as an arrogant know it all you are doing consulting wrong

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BCG1 especially - Classic example of how a woman says "this is what is happening", and a man comes back and says "no, you are wrong because this happened to me also". Did you consider that people could get the same feedback for different reasons? And that maybe for those of you who received that feedback and also responded to this thread...you're basically doing it again? I.e showing a lack in thinking about someone else's perspective? At least some on here gave reasons (military background) or solutions (take extra time with client), but none of you except for one thought about why a female might be more inclined to get that feedback. You all don't have to agree, but at least actually consider it instead of using your personal experience as a reason to be so sure of yourselves. So thank you A3 for both pointing out that the process isn't perfect and reminding me that we have people like you at our firm. And go you OP, female here sending you support - say what you have to say, I believe you.

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So, A5, how does the benchmark stack up? How accurate is OP's depiction?

I'm a guy, but I'm sure women face unique challenges to career success in business. However, in this case it seems that feminism just provides an excuse for OP to ignore feedback from a person who may have a better perspective on the OP's specific career roadblocks than OP.

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My modification is to just take some extra time with the client and just be more personable with them. Those little touch points went a long way for Me.

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EQ was a big learning point for me as a consultant. Although I've found a lot of female new hires were naturally better with the clients than their male cohorts. Then again all the new hires are better than I was at the same age lol

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^anti-feminism really

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This is why feminism is so dumb

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