I need help coming up with excuses for why my MIL can’t stay with us when she comes into town. She’s been driving my husband and me a little nuts each time but he doesn’t feel like we can just say no and instead need a believable excuse.

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I'd go with the honest route and not make up something. This will be the start of setting healthy boundaries for everyone.

You don't have go all out on her just be firm. That you prefer if she stay at a nearby hotel/airbnb, but you two (and kids?) prefer your own space.

She wont like it and you both wont feel comfortable but it will set precedent. Otherwise you'll keep having to come up with fake excuses and more stress.

Those boundary skills will help down the road in other relationships too. Kids, coworkers, boss, etc.

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D1, there's a power dynamic between adults who choose to have children and adult children choosing to have their parents/in laws staying at their home.

Normally it would be ok for them to visit and stay over but sounds for OP MIL crosses boundaries. In that case setting boundaries is important.

Perhaps a middle ground is to set boundaries for the stay but not sure if they will respect them.

Perhaps you were fortunate your family and parental relationship is generally positive and not just an annoying inconvenience for the week.

There are some crazy overbearing parents out there. Such as undermining the parents, criticizing either husband /wife or children, not following adult children's house rules, etc. Tons of extreme stories ivr read in reddit such as in laws not believing in allergies and trying to feed children what they are allergic to etc.

So up to OP to determine the best approach.

Just say no and set some boundaries. You’re a pair of married adults; you shouldn’t need excuses.

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"I don't want you here."

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Sickness, house renovations, demanding work schedule, honesty

Demanding work schedule is my go to. Currently trying to get us to counseling/therapy so we can deal with the issues and hopefully use honesty going forward but expecting that will take some time.

smart

Wow - coming from a non-western culture, can’t imagine this ever flying lol. Even if it’s to the cost of the couple’s sanity, parents always stay at home. Not saying anything is right or wrong - just very different

How long is she planning to stay for? If its just for the weekend, surely you could cope with that just to keep the peace? Any longer, then book her a room at the local motel and pay for it which may soften the blow. Whenever I go visit friends and family, I always book into a local hotel as I like my own space and hate the thought of them having to wash my bedlinen or outstaying my welcome!

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