{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I need help! We have a 1 year old and 3 year old. Both my husband and I work long hours usually. In the past 2.5 months, we have had one or both of the kids home due to COVID closures, quarantine, or being sick and the daycare is super sensitive to sickness because of COVID. I am so far behind at work, but I am also so tired and burnt out from working every weeknight and weekend trying to play catch-up. How are other folks dealing with this? It’s so out of hand, it can’t keep going like this", "post_id": "61f3f888770639002cd73c12", "reply_count": 26, "vote_count": 9, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms", "feed_type": "bowl" }

I need help! We have a 1 year old and 3 year old. Both my husband and I work long hours usually. In the past 2.5 months, we have had one or both of the kids home due to COVID closures, quarantine, or being sick and the daycare is super sensitive to sickness because of COVID. I am so far behind at work, but I am also so tired and burnt out from working every weeknight and weekend trying to play catch-up. How are other folks dealing with this? It’s so out of hand, it can’t keep going like this

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PTO. LOA. FMLA. Part time. All of these things exist in order to keep folks from blowing their brains out from the stress. None of us use it, instead we power through and faint. I'm in the same boat as you and considering going part time temporarily

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A Nanny is the way to go. Me and my husband work long hours. I have a 2nd grader and a Pre schooler. My Nanny helps me in the morning getting kids ready and takes them to school and picks them up. She helps out with zoom meeting when kids are on quarantine (not sick). She works with my older one with homework and works late so I can catch up on work as needed. Truly worth every penny and so good for my sanity. Good luck!

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About 6 hours sometimes more if home schooling is needed. I pay her her 25-35k a year. My husband has his own business and I work full time and need the support. She helps with dishes and laundry too. She is retired family friend and well trusted. Just depends on your needs as a family and work schedule.

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We tried daycare and ran into the same problem. Neither of us have flexible jobs that can accommodate last minute closures. So we’re getting a nanny. It’s only slightly more expensive than two kids in daycare. Also erases the morning scramble to get the kids out the door.

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We only have a 3yo (and expecting) so it’s been more manageable. I just keep telling myself that flu season ends in a couple of months 🤞 but plenty of people have bailed for nannies instead.

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We just hired an au pair and she has been great. Was at my wits end sounds similar to you. Message me if you would like to discuss,

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I am in the same boat. (1 year old and 4 year old). First, give yourself some grace. As for ideas: can you work a flexible schedule? When we have school closures, my husband and I either rotate off days of who is at home or I would start my day at 5:30 and work until noon and then take over. If you are burnt out, definitely consider a nanny. They can take kids to various day programs/ play dates so that socialization is still occurring. Good luck!

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1 year old and 3 year old here. No advice just solidarity ✊🏽

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Went part time last year. Game changer for our family and my sanity/health! We had already been living off my husbands income so it has cut our savings rate by 30-40% but not impacted our lifestyle. Maybe something to consider.

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Give yourself grace. The exhaustion / tiredness may not go away, but do not let it impact your mental health. 2 years ago was absolutely unmanageable for me - I had a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I was working around the clock (no childcare, working early morning / late nights to compensate) - I had several full blown panic attacks. Starting speaking with a therapist. Although objectively it’s gotten easier (kids older now, not as many closures this past year), but my workload has increased, so I’m still working crazy hours. But now my perspective has changed and I’m not overwhelmed any more That’s all I got - speak with a therapist, know what’s important in life, if unexpected closure I try my best but sometimes your not going to get to everything at work, and you have to let yourself think that that’s ok. That’s truly been the biggest change for me - there are so many things I can’t control (unfair expectations on working moms, covid, closures,etc ) but the thing I can control is my perspective on it.

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This was so helpful. I’m breaking down here and I can’t perform to my fullest potential. Being a mother to 2 toddlers and expecting my third any day now, and having an overwhelming amount of work 😭😭😭

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Oh wow stry of my life!! I am about to become a mediocre performer soon with my kid #2 on the way! The amount of tv my kid watches is insaneee! Don't know how to control it. Can't give up on calls, I really don't know how everyone is managing financially with nanny! I'm a visa holder and performance is directly related to my visa! This whole adulting, marriage, kids sucks!!!! I already lost my sanity long ago with no help from parents after delivery and I cant believe I'm gonna do all of it again! Never felt like all of this is worth it till date!

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Omg I have the same exact issue and we are also expecting our 3rd child any moment now. It’s so tough balancing everything. I can’t find a nanny and my 1 year old is super clingy. I always feel burnt out and tired and my husband goes into work from time to time. So I decided to just send my 3 (who just turned 4) to daycare with his mask on to help me out. And I have a very demanding job so it’s really tough. If you can get a nanny, definitely get one, otherwise try to send the oldest one off for a few hours so you can get some work done and try to get your 1 year old on a strict nap time schedule during the day and set up almost of your work during that time frame . I hope this helps

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My baby takes one nap for 1 he and another maybe 30 min. Impossible to do all work in that timeframe

Just came to commiserate. We got a message last night at 10pm that my 4 year old’s preschool class would be closed until Wednesday because a kid in class was sent home with a fever and tested positive. It’s exhausting and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. No real advice, other than I just tell people I only have so much time in a day and I’ll get to things as I can (my husband has a demanding job as well). Thankfully with all the lateral movement the firm can’t afford to get rid of anyone.

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Also have a 1 and 3 year old. The amount of tv watched is alarming during our countless quarantines. Now that my youngest is almost 2, he’s been a lot easier to watch while working. However when they’re both home, I can’t take the fighting... Also I outsource almost everything - meal prep, housekeeping, 100% of our laundry. I’m very much surviving not thriving.

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Same! I feel awful but they watch tv almost 80-90% of the time they are home from school, it’s terrible

How about a high school or college aged sitter who could play with them in the afternoons and early evenings? A couple times a week or as-needed, so not as expensive as a nanny who might want guaranteed or more regular hours.

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Also please remember, you are doing a great job. Your kids are healthy, happy (besides the emotions that go with being that age) and safe in a very tough situation.

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Solidarity. Same boat.

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I went part time at the beginning of the pandemic, using combo of leftover FMLA and PTO to make sure I didn’t lose too much salary in the process. Took 6 weeks at 3 days a week. It helped immensely as we had 3 little kids (4/2/5 mos) at home, no help, and work was insane. I literally could not do it all. If it were now I would say look into that and/or some backup sitter support. There are lots of vaccinated sitters on care.com looking for part time work. Young people in between jobs etc. see if something like that could help offset things… even with my kids in school we have sitters help offset when we need it and it is probably more than we would do pre Covid but now it’s the only thing we can do to stay sane!! Good luck!

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