I need non-judgmental help, please. How do I get my husband to want to help with our 2 year old, besides asking/begging for help? Fairly sure he has some personal issues and could benefit from therapy but that's a nonstarter for him. Anyone had any success on turning a situation like this around without therapy?

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Maybe make him realize there aren’t any second chances to enjoy these days. Change is a lot, even for dads at two years in. I personally struggled during that time period without anyone to talk to. It changed my perspective after I had my second and I reflected on many experiences that I didn’t enjoy in the moment but could have if I realized all this sooner.

likehelpful

Any chance you'd be able to explain what the difficult part was during that time as a dad for you? I struggle too with all of the change, but I feel so much immeasurable love for this child that I cannot understand how he doesn't want to spend any time with our toddler. Since I cannot relate, I'm growing more and more resentful and I don't want that. I want to understand but communication isn't his strong point.

helpful

I am facing same situation. I realize the pain dear

likehelpful

Leaving the child with him solo for a few days so that he’s the sole caregiver, and also the one your little one relies on, can sometimes lead to some deeper bonding on all levels.

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What would happen if you made plans for half the day and just left your little one with dad?

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Hi, you may DM me. I counsel and advice in similar situations

funny

Why not jus literally type some advice

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Brainstorming: Are there things/interests they share such that doing those could help him see 2yo as a little human and want to spend more time together? Cars, Legos, trains, animals, sports, food, superheros, building/breaking stuff, videos of ppl running into stuff? Is there family/friend/someone else whose opinion he values who could share their experiences or help reinforce that you need help/time flies at that age?

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Reframe the situation.

Firstly, as a couple, take care of each other. Connect and speak with your husband on a daily basis. Hug each other, this helps with some happy hormones. Try listening to each other.

Tell him how you would love to see him bond and connect with the child and also that how important it is for you.Give him some options like may be taking the baby for a walk in the morning or playtime or alternate day bath time. Ask him how he wishes to do it. Make it like an experiment or a challenge.

Share how you experinced the day with your baby how you connected, what the baby learnt, what you learnt during the day, how you are growing each day.

Dont forget to take care of yourself.

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Sounds like you’ve tried to address this before- how did it go over? Second leaving town for like a week. He is a full parent and fully capable of taking care of his child. And while you framed this as needing help, it sounds like you really need to discuss co-parenting expectations. Also- Fair Play is an excellent book with practical actionable advice for resetting responsibilities in managing a household.

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