I posted here several months ago about this topic, and you all were incredibly helpful, so I’m posting again. My sister just had her second miscarriage in under a year. She’s been trying to have a baby for close to 4 years now. How can I show her love during this time? She lives in a different state. Last time I sent them flowers and some of their favorite snacks. I’m not sure what to do now. Do I send something? Write a note? Would love to hear from those who have experienced something similar

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I think less is more when it comes to words unless you've been through a miscarriage too. I didn't want to hear anything positive after mine. I think anything comforting would be best. Spa stuff like SA1 mentioned is great. Cookies or some sweet treats might be nice too. I don't think you need to write a note or card, but if you do make sure your words recognize that this is like a death. No one wants to hear after a miscarriage, especially a 2nd, that "things will be okay" or "you'll have a baby someday."

My heart goes out to your sister and her partner. It's so common yet completely devastating.

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Thanks for responding and sharing a part of your experience. That makes a lot of sense. When she texted me I just told her we were grieving with her, even though I couldn’t fully understand how she must feel. I will leave it to that and just check in with how she’s feeling over the next few days. My heart truly breaks for her.

I sent her a variety tea pack a couple of hours ago, which thanks to Amazon magic was already delivered, and she texted me to say she and her husband stayed up are up drinking some together. I’m going to send something else in a day or so, just so she knows we’re not forgetting. I know the next few days will still be hard no matter what.

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Send flowers (roses?) with a nice note that simply says “Thinking of you. I love you”

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I'd say do something similar to last time so it didn't look like you care less this time if that makes sense. But more than anything, ask what she needs and just be there 😊

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Is it possible to pay for a chef dinner experience at home? I understand covid might make this a no go, but you can also send her some sort of a meal kit or a sweet/ savory basket with some of her favorite foods?
On a side note, I think you being there for her in itself is a huge gift. Yes you both are apart from one another, but I think it’s great that she has you as her shoulder to lean on.

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That’s an awesome idea! She wouldn’t be up for that with Covid , but I’ll definitely keep this in mind for another time.

Thanks for saying that - it’s hard to know how to support sometimes.

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I just wanted to lay in bed and be sad. And for the physical side affects to go away.

Movies on blu ray, fancy tea, carby/ sweet foods like cookies. Wine.

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Thank you. I’m sorry you’ve gone through the same. I took the fancy tea suggestion, and she texted me to stay she and her husband stayed up to drink some. I’ll send her something else on Friday or so, so she knows I’m still thinking of her.

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Bubble spa bath products from lush and I framed pic of you two when you were teenagers with a cute note “even when you were awkward and weird looking, I still loved you.”...or something like that, at least that’s what I would say

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I like the picture idea! Actually she and I have a photo album we pass back and forth through the years (we add a page and mail it, so it’s slowly filling up). This may be a good time to go ahead and send it back.

First, I am so sorry that your sister is going through this rough time! Second, when my best friend had multiple miscarriages, the last thing she wanted from me was any reminder that life was normal again. I sent her some bottles of wine, and got delivery from her favorite restaurant for a lot of crappy food (aka junk food which makes brain happy). I also got some custom made cookies from somewhere in NYC that I dont recall. Every person reacts to grief differently but she definitely found some solace in carbs and calories for sure! Thinking of you and your sister!

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Thank you! Yeah, I agree everyone can be so different. Thanks for sharing!

Send her a really soft lounge wear or pajama set and other cozy items. If she blames herself, remind her she's not alone.

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