I posted this in the singles bowl but also want to post it here for advice. I've dated 2 guys in the past and both shut down when they go thru high stress (e.g. culture shock when moving to a new country + high work stress, or something happens in their family). They dropped all communications and i was left wondering what happened. In both cases I asked and wished them well, but things just ended / fizzled out. The 2nd one just happened and I wonder what to do / how to improve guys' comm skills

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Sorry for the long post :). You stay genuine in your intentions and chin up. Eventually you'll sync with someone who doesn't push you away when things go wrong

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Thanks for sharing your story, i really appreciate it. Hope you too will find someone better soon! Hugs 🤗

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OP, a little confused. You are looking to understand how to improve the guy's communication skills?! Aka not shut down when they're in a crisis mode?

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Yes, but also what can I do myself? Or is that kind of situation a dead horse pretty much and I can't do anything about it but just let it go?

Being somebody that does this when I’m in crisis modes, to the detriment of people I’m marginally dating or talking to, I can say that if that’s my go to instinct then that’s not going to change for somebody. I’ve tried keeping it going but just end up texting back every once in a while and I think it ends up being more confusing than anything. I’d drop it with the understanding that it’s not on you / does not really have anything to do with you, and just drop a line to your dude every once in a while to check in as a friend and let him know your support is there. I think that can mean a lot

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TLDR: you can’t work on his coping skills for him, drop it but let him know you support

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I would agree with A2. Don't think it's on you - if that's how the person is, that's how the person is. That's their core and don't think they'll change. Plus not too fair to expect a person to change the fundamental way they handle their "danger" to appease someone else. Not being rude, just stating perspective.
I've very recently come out of a similar situation. My bf broke up with me cos it was too stressful with his ex & some other family stuff. Idk how deep you were in, but mine was and we were dating for over a year and already thinking of moving in, wedding, kids & what not. She was always a pain but he suddenly decided it's too much and broke it off with me for 'space' in his life and stopped talking to me. Period I was in a world of shock. I'm getting out of it slowly.
I was very depressed, suicidal, sad and realized it's not my fault if that's how he's dealing with it. That's his decision and I can't expect him to process events the way I do. I obviously still love him but I'm not going to lose my self respect by messaging him when he's not responded to the gazillion I've already sent inquiring if he's okay.

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