I realize this isn’t the right forum but I’m at a loss. My ex of 4+ years and I broke up close to 2 years ago now and though I’ve dated I haven’t found anyone I’m actually interested in being with...

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That’s just the way it rolls sometimes. Doesn’t mean breaking up was wrong or that your ex was perfect. Dating and finding a good match is chaotic and not subject to benchmarks of time. Keep on doing it...but it might not hurt to have a chat with a friend or a therapist to see if you’re still comparing people to your ex.

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Also, my ex traveled for work all the time and I found out that he’d been cheating on me for the last 6 months of our relationship with a women who he’d also been lying to. He was not perfect in any manner and I’m certainly not comparing anyone to him.

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Not everyone is like your ex. There are plenty of guys out there who want to find the one and live a more stable life.

I have been there. There are a lot of ups and downs, but don’t give up! I met my husband 2.5 years after a 4+ years relationship breakup. Therapy really helps!

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I never had any luck with apps. Here is my advice - let every trusted person you know know that you are open to a date - and mainly older folks in your life. Who knows who they may come up with. It's a fine line - make sure you don't get anyone overeager to be a matchmaker.

That how I met my partner -older family friend finally put two and two together - he worked with my friends husband and I knew the wife thru my mom. They did a very subtle set up by throwing us together to tend the bar at a party. It worked. And I think it was bc they thought more than these two ppl are single - but that we'd actually get along. (They cared enough to think about that.)

I was also single for years before and had kinda of thought I would be single forever (and was good with that.)

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Are there any dating sites out there that are more selective? I’ve tried bumble, match, CmB, even eHarmony but the men on there just aren’t what I’m looking for. I know how I sound, so please forgive me, but seriously, does Philly have any decent bachelors? And if so, where can I find one?? 

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I did talk to someone and feel really good about putting myself out there again so I don’t think that’s the issue. I just don’t know where to look.

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Coming to the realisation that you don't need a man to live a happy life might be more realistic.

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Have you tried hinge? (If it’s still going...) connects you with friends of friends - so inherently selective

Maybe revamp your profile to attract the type of guy you like? If you’re looking for someone successful and intellectual it’s 100% okay to signal that in your profile - if you want a guy with amazing abs that’s 100% okay to signal that as well! Also don’t be shy about letting a few guy friends look at it to provide feedback. There’s a lot of noise on the site, but if you’re honest about what you want, you’ll get a more self selecting crowd and it’s easy to find the assholes who just copy and paste. I remember changing it up and on my next date met my current SO.

Try the league

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