{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I recently decided to look for new jobs after my boss, yet again, made a really inappropriate comment to me questioning my competence. Now I have two job offers now, and I’m very anxious about leaving and whether I’m making the right decision. Is there something wrong with me?", "post_id": "6071c67e42312d00228e5b7c", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "5da60c126e5f0d001f32f497", "bowl_name": "Women in Law", "feed_type": "bowl" }

I recently decided to look for new jobs after my boss, yet again, made a really inappropriate comment to me questioning my competence. Now I have two job offers now, and I’m very anxious about leaving and whether I’m making the right decision. Is there something wrong with me?

likesmart
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I’d say nothing is wrong—this seems really common, or at least it has been for me. I’ve had several jobs with varying qualities of environment (before and after law) and even the ones that had textbook hostile workplaces still gave me anxiety when I made the leap. I think all of us have an instinctive tendency to overvalue the known vs the unknown (the “devil you know” instinct), but I think women in particular are still treated like we should be grateful we were allowed into the men’s space at all—which is especially true if you’re somewhere that tolerates the kind of inappropriateness you’re describing. I find myself battling the tendency to internalize that attitude a lot. That’s not to say leaving is always the right choice, but make sure if you stay you have a very clear reason for choosing your current position over the new offers beyond anxiety of the unknown. (Edited to clarify some language.)

like

I relate to so much of this - especially not wanting to leave clients and innocent team members in a bad spot.

like

I’m in the same boat. Decided to leave and borderline panicking that I am just jumping out of the pot and into the fire.

like

I relate to the crazy internal deadlines or a higher up waiting to pull the trigger resulting in unrealistic deadlines where work product can get the job done but isnt perfect.

likehelpful

Nothing is wrong with you. I had the same exact experience. It’s Stockholm syndrome. Jump and never look back. Best of luck, you’ve got this.

like

Nothing wrong with you. Get out of there

like

I just went through this myself and after starting a new job, I’m still questioning whether I made the right decision. It’s almost like Stockholm Syndrome. My former boss was toxic and likewise made inappropriate comments and yet. Deep down, I know it was the right call and it sounds like leaving is the right call for you. What’s the worst that can happen? You leave your current job for another toxic job? If that’s the case, go find a third (hopefully, less toxic) job.

like

Totally normal and don’t take it as a sign that you should stay. I’ve had a couple awful jobs and I still felt slightly anxious leaving. Give it a couple weeks at the new gig and you’ll totally forget about the old firm!

like

What was the comment?

I agree with Associate 3. Your conduct was not disrespectful. You were behaving like an advocate. That person seems to need to be worshipped. Unfortunately, I have seen/experienced several attorneys who behave like this. ...Leave.

like

Additional Posts

Fhhbbbbjjnnnnnnsn dnnsndjjjd dhjhdjjdjdjdjnd dhjhdjjdjdjdjnd djjfjdjjdndndnnfnd dhjhdjjdjdjdjnd dhjhdjjdjdjdjnd djjfjdjjdndndnnfnd djjfjdjjdndndnnfnd now djjfjdjjdndndnnfnd do. D dndnnfndnnsdhjdjdjdjnd

like

Ahh it is posting but into middle of feed as opposed to top.

like

Living it up in the city.

Maybe we should implement something like automatic posts refresh? I got a notification about "someone like mypost" but it isn't displaying at the post title...

like

How do you explain to your girl friend that hotel points are not exactly free and is some form of currency. And she has to take care of some portion of the meals , expense wise ?

like

Can any accenture 🐠 provide insight into technology strategy cases? Recruiter made it sound like a biz case!

like

*Cries in 6 figures of refinanced loans*

Post Photo
likefunnyuplifting

If you are on a project and being ignored by the management and the client, not getting invites, not getting involved in teamwork. Is it fair to think they want you gone?

like

What's WBS stand for? Not new just never gave a shit until this moment and now I'm curious

like

To those with Dagne Dover purses - is it annoying that the purse handles don’t fold down? I feel like the handles would get scuffed when you put the bag under the seat on airplanes 🤔

like

Anyone able to refer to a venture capital firm?

funnylike

One of my friends in Silicon Valley was telling me about the lawsuit in Cisco whereby they were sued for internally having the Indian caste system influence recruiting and promotions. I have never seen or heard of anything like this until recently. Is this just Cisco or a problem elsewhere too?

likefunny

Thoughts of buying snowflake?

like

How does everyone feel about establishing boundaries at work for work life balance?

like

What keeps you in consulting and not going in house? In the data analytics sphere here and just thinking about it.

likesmart

Are the Marriott ambassadors helpful in upgrading a hotel booking. Booking a room with my SO and thinking of the ambassador can help to get better room availability?

like

Anyone else feel a little post-travel slump? What do you do to shake it? I get home to a loving home and family but I don’t know if it’s guilt from having loved been away, but I just get a little down for a few days…

like

My company has offered me role in the UK office at 130k GPB. Trying to get an understanding of lifestyle and how comfortably I’ll be able to live and travel on that salary level while also saving a little. Any fish have insights they’d care to share?

like

Kendrick > Drake

like

Working like crazy and delaying lunch till 4-5ish or totally skipping it. Does this job really worth the $$ it's been rewarding me? #compstatementreleaseperiod#🤔

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal