I recently went through a separation, few current friends and no family, just my kids I spend half my time with. Dealing with anxiety of loneliness, some days more intense then others, but don't feel like I'm ready to start dating yet, want to get my own stuff in order before. But I would like to meet new friends, im just not that good at it. Others have suggestions on good ways to meet middle aged thoughtful people?

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Find some interests.. since you are newly sperated a lot of people like to work on themselves during this time so join a gym. Crossfit is cultish but the people are usually super friendly and they are constantly doing things outside the gym together.

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No need to start dating Op, but at a minimum go out with current Friends etc . Where are you based ?

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Instead of bumble for dating, try bumble BFF?

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And more importantly - i'm a guy - any good at finding BFFs for guys (either sex)?

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Trying to get out with the few current friends, they all have families and busy, tough to tell how interested they are in hanging out, I feel like I reach out to them but they rarely reach out to me. Trying to expand that circle but struggling to meet new people. Weekends without the kids by myself are the toughest, on one hand I like the solitude on the other I feel the need for social interaction I've never felt before, wish I had family close by but stuck geographically to be near young kids. I was mostly remote before covid, so dont really meet people through work.

Sounds like you are not in a big city and most of your inner circle is married. Sports or other activities , meet up groups , are helpful to make new connections

Thanks for suggestions, been thinking of sports and will look around to see what options close by

I’ve found tennis to be a great outlet.

These feelings, for me, drove aggression. I’ve found a batting cage to be a big release. For social engagement, volunteering is a great way to meet like-minded people. Think about something that moves you and find a way to devote your time and energy to helping others in a related way.

You need a life first. Get back to spending time on the hobbies you personally enjoy (and not hobbies that you enjoy because of your kids). Eg if it’s biking then start biking again and find like-minded people in the community of your hobbies on social media or local meetups / events

Also suggest therapy to heal from the divorce. Was it mutual?

Not mutual, their decision. I was committed to trying to get better - 20yrs together is a long time to move on from - they were not interested in trying.

Went through 2 therapist over the last 1.5yrs while it was happening, stopped a few months ago because I felt like I got to a much better place and wanted to focus on personal contemplation and reflection, not sure if that was the right move but the therapists didn't feel like a good fit anymore. I probably just needed to find someone new.

Same boat. 2.5 years ago, stranded in a city with with no family or friends. Working remote for the past two years. She’s already re married. Starting from scratch. Ain’t easy.

Damn sorry, more of us out there then I imagined. I haven't finalized divorce papers yet, kids tell me they were hanging out with mom and her new guy friend at the beach last week, sent me for a tail spin. Amazing how fast she moved on, but I guess she was already gone by the time she told me we were done a year ago. I feel like I should wait another year to date just to get my crap together first.

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