I submitted my resignation today to go work for a direct competitor and the person I thought was my mentor was very pissed off and said I had no loyalty. I cried my eyes out. Not looking for advice but just wanted to vent here. It ruined my whole weekend…

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Your loyalty is to yourself and your family. Not a company. Don’t stress too much.

likeupliftingsmarthelpful

It’ll get easier! My last manager was outraged when I put my 2 weeks notice in and she was the one that ended up crying. She often talked about her loyalty to the company which is great but I’m
loyal to my family first so if an opportunity will provide a better standard of living for us then I’m going with that🤷🏾‍♀️

They tried to tell me I was REQUIRED to give them 4 weeks notice or I’d be ineligible for rehire and I said OK well BYE ✌🏾🤣

likefunnyhelpful

It’s good you left! Family first, for sure! How do you like working at Boeing? I’ve been thinking about a career shift and have applied, but never hear back. What kind of jobs there could a current teacher possibly get hired into? I applied to procurement previously.

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I mean… you resigned to literally work for a direct competitor. Of course they are pissed <3. Also. Ps. Make sure you dont have a contract with a noncompete clause

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Sometimes companies behave like cults and so revolted when one leaves the clan. It’s a job, not your family.

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I cried bc of a work convo on Friday as well and it ruined my weekend, people can say don’t let it get to you but it’s easier said then done when your invested in your career. Hang in there

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A decent mentor would have applauded your growth and cheered you on, good for you for finding a better position. Congrats!

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You do what is best for you, your career and your family. Some managers take it personally when someone quits, it’s business at the end of the day. Your company or manager do not own you, you are free to make career decisions and pursue better opportunities.

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Loyalty ended in the 60s.

likefunny

I’m sorry you were crying. You come first and always remember that. They show no loyalty when they fired you and layoff individuals. Go to show how companies really value you.

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You first and for most have to do what is right for you and your family! That is your loyalty!

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Can you let me know what you put in your res letter? Need to draft mine today…

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Short and sweet.

Date of letter

Dear (manager)
Please accept this letter as my formal resignation from (company) as (position). My last date of employment will be (date).
I appreciate the experience and knowledge gained during my time at (company)

Sincerely, (employee).

likeuplifting

Look forward to giving my notice next week. Beating them to the punch.

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This happened to me once. So, solidarity, sister. I had an opportunity to go live overseas for a year and my former mentor/boss totally lost her shit when I told her I was leaving. This is someone I very much looked up to and whom I thought I had a very close and trusted relationship with. I went and cried in my eyes out after. It was the best decision ever though and led to one of the best years of my life 💕 this person is not who you thought they were, and a proper mentor would not react that way. I don’t even know you and I’m excited for you and this next chapter!!

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It's sad - people show you who they really are when you're leaving...

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I know easier said than done, but don’t let them rain on your parade. It’s more telling about their personality and true colors than it is on you. Don’t let anyone take away your personal win - congrats on your new role!

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I’m sorry you went through that. But you made the right decision. Try to not let them ruin your last days there. Be happy you are leaving they show you their true colors.

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You have to do what’s best for you. As a mentor to many, I’ll say he/she was probably just as upset with him/herself as with you. I know the people I mentor aren’t obligated to tell me when they are unhappy with the job or looking elsewhere for more money or experience, or less hours. But I know I’d feel like I failed a bit if I was caught off guard by someone leaving, if the person was someone I talked to regularly about how things were going. Clearly they should’ve chosen their words better and been more supportive, but just offering a different perspective.

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You are only trying to put your family first. That's your priority and one one should feel bitter about it, especially the mentor. They can get upset or whatever but at the end of the day, you're doing this for your family. Hugs.

helpful

Are you working for a charity or a corporation? Business is democratic i.e. people vote with thier feet! Your loyalty started when you were employed there and ended when you choose to leave. Repeat the cycle somewhere else!

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First of all - I'm so sorry that happened. Truly. But also - I'm so encouraged that you seem to know that's inappropriate and aren't reconsidering your new job because of this other person's betrayal. No one owes a company loyalty - they're not your family, and your career shouldn't suffer for them. I'm sorry your mentor doesn't understand this, and I wish you all the luck in finding a better one at your new company.

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When someone behaves badly (your boss), that reflects badly on them, not you.
Why is it that us women are quick to blame ourselves and assume we've done something wrong?
I'll tell you - it's easier to control and change ourselves than others.
This applies to any situation.
Say your friend is unfairly mad at you.
It's healthier to think, oh weird, they're being unreasonable.
But it feel easier to think, hmm, did I do something wrong? Maybe if I learn from this and change for next time I can avoid this pain!
The real lesson is this - you cannot control others emotional responses to circumstances. And you are not responsible for them.
Even though a psychologist told me this at 25, I'm still struggling to always implement it at 38.

Whatever emotions come up for them and for you, that's okay. If either party is angry or upset in the workplace, I think it's generally considered professional to try to not show those emotions and instead process them outside of work. Or handle them calmly at least. Both parties are going to fail at that sometimes. That's OK. We're human. Keep going.

Congratulations on your new job! Clearly you'd grown and it was time for a change!

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I just left my job and something happened to me. At the end of the day I made a decision that was best for me, my family and my career aspirations. A good mentor should respect that.

That mentor was there to get you through that season. Thank them for what they did pour into you and move on. There will be someone to help you on the next leg of your journey.

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