I talked to a close platonic friend (an F) from college after a long time today. Got me thinking that the level of comfort I have always had with desi Fs will never be matched by Fs I’ve dated here.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Wife’s Asian - she knows a few of my desi things - can’t say she’s super into it. But luckily enjoys our food, cooks it too sometimes. Yes she doesn’t get my references that any desi F who grew up in India around when I did does - and a tiny part of me enjoys that connection however fleeting!

Yes we run into cultural issues every now and then, but rarer as we’ve gotten older.

Known her 20 years - 12 of them married to her! She’s given me 2 wonderful ABC1/2Desi + 1/2Asian kids that I can’t imagine my life without and I love her just a little bit more every year :)

Hang in there bud, common cultural references help for sure but you can also build years of shared memories & growth too that’s an incredible emotional bond and sense of comfort/security!

like

I need to find an Asian Waifu

M here for context. Not race related at all but just the shared culture like a reference to Sholay or Indian affairs as well as the freedom to say something and it not be misconstrued is so refreshing. I know about American cultures a lot more than the Fs I meet know about mine. I also have to make sure I tone down my Indian references while talking/texting with them.

I think I kinda get why a lot of non desi (even ABCD) Fs would prefer men from their culture.

like

Not discrediting whatever you have said OP but here is an opposing view from someone who has been in couple of happy relationships with non-Indians. While it is true that your SO may never get some jokes or cultural references, it is fun to learn about their culture and teaching them about yours. You also cancel out the negatives of both cultures and focus on the good aspects. Last but not least, you will never run out of stories to share. I can spend hours learning about her life and she does the same as we come from very different backgrounds and societies.

like

OP, I can understand where you are coming from. It’s all right. I also understand you vent. I agree in my case, I have been extremely lucky. My ex was an immigrant and I am currently dating an American. Both of them talked about their experiences and cultures and so did I. But, that’s kind of the point of being in an inter-racial/cultural relationship. If someone you dated wasn’t interested in your culture then honesty there is no point especially if you just moved to a different country.

Hang in there and you will get someone.

like

Agreed, cultural similarity is massive.

As a Pakistani Muslim I’d much rather date/settle down with an Indian Hindu girl or of any other religion than a Arab, Iranian, Turkish Muslim girl etc.

Ofcourse I may not be in the majority because I am not very religious but I do tend to highly value similarities in culture, food, language, music etc.

uplifting

I got a chance to work with Pakistani collegue’s in couple of my projects, and could not believe that how many similarities we have and how similar we are. Enjoyed working with them as much as I would have enjoyed working with Indian colleagues.

Yeah They don’t like Modi, so we avoided those conversations otherwise I don’t think we have animosity between each other/countries (unlike I used to think in the past that we would)

Related Posts

Should I gift a guy if he’s never gifted me before?

like

What’s the best way to meet people in a new city? I’m lonely anyone up for a chat?

upliftinglike

What’s the dating scene like at M7s (specifically Kellogg)? I’m a straight female

like

I am in a relationship for 3.5 years now. .
We both love each other. Used to enjoy the company emotionally and physically. We took it bit slow as it was 1st relationship for both of us.
For initial years we tried various stuff on bed and we both enjoyed it thoroughly.
And finally last year after 2-2.5 years of dating when we were comfortable enough, we decided to have sex.

But, after many unsuccessful attempts we discover that she might have medical condition vaginismus

More in comment

like

Do guys like it when girls approach them at bars/clubs. I'm old fashioned and prefer to be pursued though I will make eye contact to show interest. I was told that I am missing out big time.

likefunny

How’s your hot girl/guy summer going?

Post Photo
like

Has anyone ever broke up with a narcissist? I was dating a guy for three weeks, found out most of his life is a lie, etc., name wasn’t real, wrap sheet, evictions on record. He ended up smothering me after I put up some boundaries. I think we hung out/ went on 7 dates. He’s super attractive and really charming… but then he has his dark side. Told him yesterday it wasn’t going to work (I blamed it on me being emotionally unavailable and things) he flipped out and is now making threats. ⬇️

like

Met a guy(a coworkers best friend) Friday, we spent the night together and it was great, we laughed, we got to know each other, he was such a gentleman about everything, offered to pay my Uber, asked me to text him when I got home. I heard very little from him after that, and the last text (on Sunday) I sent he left me on read as of yesterday. So my question is, is it weird for me to ask him if he’d be interested in dinner next week? Should I take the left on read as a sign/red flag, etc?

like

I’m really into older women, just wish I knew where to meet them

like

Can anyone comment on the Nashville dating scene? I am newly transplanted but a little confused by what's going on here

likefunny

How is the dating scene in London corporate compared to US/Rest of World? Do coworkers generally fall for flings/ONS/FWB?

like

I need serious advice, please! Am I wasting my time messaging a guy I matched with online that lives on the opposite coast? Background: we message each other at least 1-2 times everyday for the last FIVE months but never over a phone call. He actually doesn't even have my number. We message on IG. He's a full-time student and full time employee so busy guy. But am I wasting my time and emotions with this guy??

like

Does anyone else find themselves befriending hookups? I seem to do it naturally, but then it adds a new dimension of complication to the friendship (even if both parties don’t want a relationship). Is this normal?

like

I had higher expectations for this bowl. You’re in your 30’s/40’s and looking for a hookup? 😒

likeuplifting

Any 30+ female around? Would love to chat.

like
like

28F looking to move to SD in the next 6 months from DC and wondering what dating in San Diego is like?

like

I need some advice. And to preface the question, I'm as noob as a noob gets when it comes to dating. I have virtual video date next weekend, but I live with family. Tips on where or how I can do it?

like

Anybody up and care for to chat? 34M here.

like

26 F NYC looking for an exclusive buddy 👀

like

More Posts

Does anyone have recommendations for thought leaders/influencers in the M&A space? Looking for blogs, books, YouTube videos? Not currently in the space, trying to learn more as I’m thinking about a pivot after a few years in consulting/startups

likehelpful

Hello 👋🏾, I’m very new ( 3 years in now ) to the engineering tech world i got a position last Sept as an engineering admin servicing a couple of buildings for 68k a year salaried and i was hybrid. I was just asked to take in a larger triage role, globally, fully remote. They haven’t told me what my raise should be yet but what ball park should i be in ???

like

Do you trust people who have coding certificates more, or people who are self-taught?

like

How are all the Texas people doing? Can we get an update? Are you actually still doing busy season? Is your company providing any assistance? What is life like for you?

like

Has anyone gone CAIA route ?

likehelpful

Hi fellow 🐠, I recently moved to Vancouver from Europe, and I’m actively looking for a job. It’s been 3 months and over 200 applications with little luck :( Getting a bit desperate. I’m looking for Project Management/Business Analyst roles. I’ve have 4 years of experience in SaaS implementation and success management. If any of you know of any openings & would be able to refer me, I would be extremely grateful to talk with you. Thanks!

like

FIS is giving retention bonus to particular employees. Fortunately I'm selected. They are giving 1.5 lakh and requested me to stay for next one year 😂

like

Thanks to the admin who created this bowl.
Consulting bowl was overtaken by Tech Consulting people and in turn by other tech guys of IBM, TCS and what not!
I hope we will try to post here more, get better insights and grow by helping each other.

like

When ibm provides relieving letter and when they provide service letter??

KPMG FRM OR ACN Strategy Finance & Risk.. whish one among the two is better?

like

Good PGs or room in Global Village or RR Nagar ?
Less deposit & spacious.
Can afford rent around 10k.

like

Does HSBC support certifications like CFA, FRM? Do they reimburse it?

Hi, can anyone refer me for roles like Business Analyst or Project Manager?

Work ex: 2 Yrs

If you didn't go to college, how did you learn what you know now in marketing?

like

I have 5.5 years of experience in banking. I would like to change my carrier to DATA SCIENCE field,kindly assistant dies any company hires me without prior experience in the field or where should I start my path....

like

🐠🐟
I have strong knowledge on SQL and have fair knowledge on informatica and Tableau.
I have done below certifications:
Oracle SQL
Aws Cloud practitioner
Istqb foundation level
I want to increase my knowledge base.
Could any1 suggest what should I do from seniors/mentors here:
1)learn full stack developer
2)Hadoop developer
3)any other course pls suggest
Yoe:8.5

like

Any UK people here? Need my ad agency exit strategy. I have 10 years strategy experience in top creative agencies. I just can’t do the hours and pay more. What’s it like out there?

like

Why do those working in agencies look down on brand side creatives?

likesmartupliftinghelpful

What has the experience been for those who have gone from agency to in-house? Was there a learning curve or was it pretty similar?

like

I am a Ferrari fan for life, but it feels so good to see Max and Red Bull leading the championships! It’s refreshing I must say!

like

Additional Posts in Desi Consultants

Hello, quick question as I prepare for the stamping process. I was had my fingerprints taken 3 years ago, do I need to get 10 printed? If yes, I need to go back and create a new ds160 as I indicated

like

Currently in India (Gujarat specifically) .. incredible at how much the people are pro-Russia here. People waving the flag and everything else. I’m sure other states must be the same. Interestingly, there are lots of Russian here as well (in the cafes and hotels).

like

Quick question - Do we need to submit original i-797 (employer transfer) for drop box appointment or a copy is sufficient? Any thoughts?

like

My H1-B visa stamp with PwC is expired but I have a valid I-797from new employer. Can I travel for work to Canada without getting the new H1-B stamping ?

ACN 🐠, a friend is on EAD & wants to join ACN. So, technically, he doesn’t need H1-B sponsorship, but ACN will need to send a 485-J to update his USCIS GC file. Has ACN done this with anyone?

Best white lights for Indian folks? I am sick of these yellow lights and am looking for white CFL lights, similar to what we have in India

What brand, which lights and where to get them cheap

like

TIL that Jayant Sinha is an ex McK PPD... Hmmm

Got my GC with KPMG about 5 months ago and thinking of moving to industry. Has KPMG asked to anyone to pay back for the legal cost, anyone know ? Or can the partner waive it off ?

Why do some Indians assume everyone from India knows Hindi? 😒

likesmart

Sushma Swaraj speech at the UNGA today was amazing! 🇮🇳✌️

like

What part of Jersey city is best for a 3 bdrm apt? Father passed away & looking to move my mom in with me. I lived in nyc for last 11y.She’s 72, punjabi,central jersey40 years, still drives. Thanks!

like

I’ll probably get reported for this but damn do some of you all need a life. All you I see everyday is people crapping on other people for where they were born. This is a definition of bullying. You all pick the most obscure topic and want to start a competition over it. Life’s too short to have arguments with strangers on the internet. It’s nauseating, and I’m putting it mildly.

likefunnyuplifting

🇨🇦 🐠 on WP: What does type: Permit-WP/Permis-PT on my work permit indicate?

like

Any desi 🐠 here that can share Deloitte h1 transfer success stories? Anxious about getting an rfe!!🙈😞

like

Any recommendations for tax filing services for a non-resident (on OPT) with W2s from multiple states? I’m based in NJ

like

At POE in US, do they provide translator for non-English speaking people?

Do you recommend hiring a tax consultant vs. doing it yourself using turbotax or the likes? Do tax consultants bring additional value/savings when compared to the risk of sharing your SSN with someone