I think I am about to be going through a divorce. My husband and I have been "in the thick of it" for almost a year and the last couple weeks have shown me that things are not getting better. I think I'm at the end of my rope. I was having concerns 3 yrs ago, but really was able to confront issues this year. We've been married for 6 years, together 9, and have a 2 year old. I'm 30 years old. My family isn't super supportive. I'm nervous, scared, worried, all the things.

likehelpful
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

No advice, but sending good vibes your way and hope it settles down and smooths out for you soon.

like

I’m not sure what your situation is. And this is an extremely unpopular opinion. Is divorce the answer?

I was also ready last year when my baby was almost one and was going through severe PPD. He was depressed. We weren’t ourselves and throwing a baby in the mix helped nothing.

When he filed for legal separation I was devastated. But instead of lawyering up I decided to fight for my marriage. What that looked like was me changing for the marriage first. Getting him off the defensive. Putting him back in his rightful place as man of the house and making him feel like he was back in control of things. I did a lot of damage emasculating him for so long, and while I know that goes against the progressive feminist ideology, there are more reasons than not that marriages are ending in divorce and it’s not all the man’s fault.

I’m not saying your husband doesn’t share fault here. But if you remove the blame game, start meeting your husband where he is at and focus on what you can be doing to change the dynamics, real meaningful change that makes him feel empowered and both of you respected in your marriage again, divorce doesn’t have to be the end game.

I hope you can keep your family together. Divorce is so much harder than it appears. But if it is the right decision to walk away, I wish you peace in that decision too.

like

Thank you for this! I just keep going back to how I feel. We’ve been in therapy for almost a year now and I still feel consistently disrespected and unheard. Which now I think is turning to me not respecting him. I definitely know I am not blameless. But I feel like I have been fighting. Our issues started before the baby came along. She was conceived (surprisingly) during a time I was trying to really fix some things. So while I think the postpartum phase definitely exacerbated some things, I don’t think it was the cause, if that makes sense.

Life is short. If you’ve already tried to fix the issues to no avail, leave. It will be hard and painful but this too shall pass. Best of luck to you, sending good vibes.

Related Posts

like

44f in chicago. Any single older desi males?

like

My son is about to go to college. His dad passed away when he was 8 and had an addiction to alcohol. I am so scared he is going to enter college life and become addicted to things after being curious. We have talked about it many times, but teenagers think they know everything and are invincible. I have told him there is a 50% chance he got the addiction gene and he needs to be careful. When I went to college I partied and tried it all, but I got lucky not getting addicted. Any advice?

like

Any Deloitte 🐠 in their Organization Transformation practice want to connect and chat about the practice and work they do? I saw a role I’m interested in.

like

Anyone of you here based in NYC?

like

I have offer from Axtria and Informatica. Axtria on bigdata domain and Informatica on IICS and BI. Which one I should choose ?

As both are big names in data analytics space. Which one I should choose

like

Is state, local, and higher ed really different (better) than federal? How so?

like

SOS, I got a govt offer & was let go from my current job. I was not given a clear reason for termination but it was not misconduct. How do I phrase this in a disclosure statement for background check

like

Hey all,
I was wondering how accurate indeed salary estimates are? I live in a LCOL area in PA, and the estimate for the company I’m interviewing with is 67k - 85k. They’re a relatively big tech company and I’m applying to be a Business Development Specialist. Thank you in advance!

like

Is it normal for a creative department to be set up so that only 1 or 2 creative teams get all the “good” briefs (campaign concepts, commercial shoot opportunities, anything with budget) and the rest of the creative teams churn out the “boring work” (banners, social from already shot assets,etc). Are there agencies where opportunities are more even spread out?

likehelpful

Am I missing anything if I never work at a Big 4 Tax?

My plan is to work in public for life. No interest in industry.

I know it wouldn't hurt to work in Big 4 one day but is a National Firm good enough?

I feel like Big 4 is the top and that there is a fear of missing out that I have...

likehelpful
like

Is it true Oracle doesn’t offer yearly pay increases? That sounds like a poor culture if true (and bad management in the current environment)

like

Everything the senior managers told me about working in industry...same thing every month, boring, slow....all way off. Find a good company and don’t believe that talk. So much happier

like

Glad someone created this bowl. I feel like I have been through *almost* every possible scenario out there so happy to share and learn from others.

like

I judge the company I work every time they misspell my name even though I’ve corrected it over and over again. It tells me they don’t care and don’t want to make the effort. It’s in my email, my email signature, on my profile, etc. How hard is it to look it up and spell it correctly?!

like

Could someone help me with the heirrechy in CitiusTech Technology solution. What is the grade level for senior manager in the organization?

like

Hi all,
I am NIT silchar 2017 passout (Btech in electrical engineering ) then I went on to do mtech from NIT durga pur . I am looking for a entry level job as python developer / tableau devloper with the knowledge of SQL. I am presently working in a electrical company as a senior engineer. Please help

like

Additional Posts in Paralegals

Folks, taking a certificate course in paralegal studies does not make one a “certified” paralegal.

like

I've been applying to so many paralegal/legal ops positions and I'm not getting any bites. Is the field just getting more competitive? Or does anyone have recommendations for resume review? Maybe mine needs updates.

like

I am a legal assistant/paralegal (used interchangeably at my firm) and I am looking for a job. I have been interviewing with multiple companies for multiple months to finally receive an offer for a temp to perm role. I am interviewing with another company that is a permanent position, but won't hear back until sometime next week. I want to wait to see what company 2 has to offer since it is a permanent position - is this right? Also, does anyone have any experience with a temp to perm role?

like

I’ve been activity looking for new paralegal roles but my last position was working in the public sector. Some have told me that it’s a pro, others have said that it’s a con. I’m largely applying for positions in the private sector now, and I’ve found that I don’t have many of the entry level skills like e-filing that employers expect. Is there any alternative to taking on a role that is completely entry-level to gain those?

like

How do you deal with the industry when you live in a small state (with only a handful of firms which practice the area you want to practice in) and in which ‘it’s not about WHAT you know, but WHO you know’?

Currently trying to argue pay rise (whilst looking elsewhere, but constricted because there aren’t a lot of firms where I’m based) when I know someone with the same job role and less experience is getting paid more simply because they know the partner outside of the firm.

like

How do you deal with burnout? I am finding it hard to stay motivated. I cut back on the hours I was working but still feel drained at the end of day

like

Hey, does anyone work for Jacobowitz Newman Tversky? Would love to know more about the office and culture .

Question. How would you handle an attorney who doesn’t explain assignments very well? Everyone including attorneys get confused by this attorney’s instructions. Often times the attorney gets angry or upset when instructions are not followed.

Have you noticed that it’s the low paying jobs and the nonprofit jobs the ones that still require cover letters? I find cover letters to be archaic and pretentious.

like

I need help with Christmas gift ideas for the other paralegal in our office. It’s only the two of us, and I’ve been at the firm for 4ish months. We have a good relationship so far, but feel like I’m still too new to know what she’d really like.

like

So my last two companies did not have billable hours for the paralegals. I am interviewing now and of course most places do have billables for paralegals. What are your average doable billable hours?

like
likehelpful

Working at small firm for 7 years. They created a new Staff Manager position to supervise and train the support staff in 1 office and other internal operation tasks. They promoted a paralegal into the position. They just asked me to take on the training across all offices because the Staff Manager is doing 50% paralegal work due to turnover. I told them if I were to take on a task of a manager, I should get a promotion and raise to do the task. They did not agree. What do you think?

like

For those of you who have been formally given the title of “senior paralegal” what are the qualifications for that title at your firm? Does your firm do promotions from paralegal to senior paralegal? At my firm we are all simply just “paralegal” (we all fully handle our own dockets, no assistants) and I would like to help develop a concrete career track for paralegal to senior paralegal.

like

Anyone interested in working for a small firm based in LA? Remote and Flexible hours.

like

After a little over five years in Big Law, I was recruited for a boutique firm that promised a collegial culture and work/life balance. Surprise, it’s a sweatshop and the most toxic work environment I’ve ever worked in. Any recommendations for recruiters in NY? Are people generally lateraling or going in house now? Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

like

Apply to law school this fall! Praying I get in!! I love being a paralegal but then I have this voice screaming inside saying I want to be the atty! Lol am I crazy 😂🤣

like

What does everyone here to do to maintain work-life balance as a paralegal? I know it's a little bit silly of a question, but I am sincerely asking for advice.

like

I have a total of 12 months of experience as an IP paralegal. The first 6 months were with a global law firm and the second 6 months were with a famous retail company. I am currently working with an agency that would like to assign me to a company that is in need of an IP paralegal for a total of 6 months. My current salary with the agency is £35k (based on my current experience) but I would like to ask for more money before I accept this new role. Please advise how much money I should ask for.

like

How realistic is it to get a remote paralegal position with less than a year experience? I was just laid off from a small firm and loved the remote work environment…

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal