{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I think I am in an emotionally abusive relationship. I am married with a small child. I have been walking on eggshells for years, afraid of triggering my husband and his rage. He is constantly screaming at me or giving me the silent treatment for no reason at all. Interestingly enough, he’s a good father and my child adores him. I don’t know what to do, and I’m terrified of losing time with my child and the impact on my child longer term if I leave him. He won’t go to counseling. Advice?", "post_id": "6039368c0455e10020801581", "reply_count": 4, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

I think I am in an emotionally abusive relationship. I am married with a small child. I have been walking on eggshells for years, afraid of triggering my husband and his rage. He is constantly screaming at me or giving me the silent treatment for no reason at all. Interestingly enough, he’s a good father and my child adores him. I don’t know what to do, and I’m terrified of losing time with my child and the impact on my child longer term if I leave him. He won’t go to counseling. Advice?

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1. That is 100% emotional abuse. 2. Imagine the impact that behavior will have on your kid, when the kid is old enough to receive or notice that behavior from dad, and think about how much you’d like to avoid that. You have a chance right now, while your child is young and you are young, to press the breaks and work towards a course correction, with or without your husband. The road you’re on now is not sustainable, and your health and safety is as important as your child’s. For your sake and theirs, talk to your husband, get counseling, and if that doesn’t work, get out. Good luck, sis! You are capable and strong and can succeed no matter what.

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Yes agreed with above. Do you want your child to treat you that way too? Do you want your child to grow up and treat their future partner that way? You need to break this cycle and show him that this type of behavior is unacceptable and you cannot treat people like your husband is treating you. It's a super hard scenario but you gotta do what's best for both of you. Please care take of yourself.

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This is definitely emotional abuse. There are three relationships here: you and your husband, you and your child, and your child and your husband. The bad relationship between you and your husband needs to end, and I would imagine that will actually improve the long term relationship your child has with both of you. If you stay together in hopes it will be the best thing for your child, you'll be setting a bad example of what a relationship is, and your child could end up treating you poorly because it's the example your husband sets or resenting and wanting to be distanced from your husband because of how poorly he treats you. Either way, it's not a good outcome.

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Sounds like you are OP. I’d recommend making a plan of exiting the relationship. Perhaps start documenting episodes of rage etc. Maybe call the police if you’re afraid. But talk to a lawyer and come up with a plan so that you don’t get screwed over. Abusive men can try control tactics when their abused partner decided to leave.

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