I took my new co worker under my wing to personally invest in her success. She’s another brilliant black woman. Also felt like her knowledge is valuable and we could learn from each. I was off work for 3 weeks due to Covid and when I came back she told me she had gotten into it with our co workers and had been put on a performance plan. She ready to resign. She is very emotive and I think people take it as aggression. I don’t want her to sabotage her career. What advice would you give her?

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You're rightfully vested in this situation, but take a step back and be as objective as possible. Is this still the best place for her?

Either something happened in the span of 3 short weeks that was bad enough to put her on PIP or she was already on her way there. Furthermore, coworkers are viewing her in a bad light and she isn't helping herself out on that front either.

So first evaluate what got her on the PIP first. Then see if you think there is a realistic way to recover. Then assess if she's willing to do the work and offer your support.

In any case, she absolutely should be looking for other jobs right now. A smart person would be trying to get of PIP and look for jobs at the same time.

As long as she navigates the interview process well (and for one doesn't say reason for leaving is PIP), her career should be okay to take this hit. What isn't clear is whether or not this is the start of a cycle.

likesmart

Thanks for this reply, it’s very wise. I talked with her and she is going through a lot personally. I also spoke some truths to her. What she does with that info is up to her. I’m here to support but have personally removed myself. I feel like her future is bright whether she is here or not. This is just a learning situation for us both. Maybe in the future I shouldn’t be so quick to get invested in a coworker. I hope she’ll look for roles that better suit her. As far as the PIP, I think it’s complete nonsense but looking from The companies pov you have to meet the business needs or your will be put on a pip or worse terminated. That’s any company.

smart

Hmmm. This can get dicey. I hope she’s okay. While serving as her mentor, keep in mind that she may turn against you if she believes it is her against her co-workers. That being said, call her and talk about how she can get through this and the importance of overcoming this and being viewed as a positive influence at work. It only gets tougher when you climb higher. Hopefully, she’s young in her career so she can bounce back and use this as a teaching moment. My moments at EY where I felt like I was alone is what I now use to pump myself that it only gets better....

likesmart

Wow 😳 you are teaching me today 🍵. I have decided to remove myself personally but still support if she needs help. Side note she is going through a lot in her personal life and it’s reflective in her work. I decided not to talk to her about it and remain neutral. She will learn from this experience.

Unfortunately, i had to go through the pains alone in order to learn, adapt, have allies at EY. Some things are best learnt through experience. What you can do is plainly tell her the truth and show her you’re on her side in a healthy manner and how her brand is key to success.

likehelpful

I spoke a lot of truth to her but sometimes I things come differently then how you are actually relaying the message. She will definitely look back on this and learn and emerge. I’m still here to support her in the process.

🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️

funnylike

I personally wouldn’t waste my time. I just learned my lesson trying to do this with a new grad from an HBCU. I was thinking she’d be worth it. I had a lot of the same experiences with her as you’re having now. Walk away! Help those that want help.

likehelpful

This is where I am but I’m trying not to project personal experience. I’m going through the same right now where we have a young lady that has so many people in her corner trying to help her and she’s just not getting it and not even trying. I’m so done.

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Also suggest that she has counseling / gets a therapist. It sounds like she’s going through a break down...

likeuplifting

I recently read that black women sometimes don’t realize that we are going through depression but instead think we are failing. That’s a lot to digest. Can’t be outspoken, can’t be volunerable, can’t be soft, can’t need help and definitely can’t make bad choices because who will rescue you and protect you? Oh gosh! I can feel a wince of pain in my heart from typing this. I realize she is going through a lot in her life after speaking with her. I’m wishing sis the best and still supporting her.

like

If you have a trusting relationship, it’s time for some real talk. Why is she on a PIP? Is it due to not being online and available? Why is she not showing up? You need to be careful that you aren’t advocating for Black and protecting her without understanding if she is someone that is capable of succeeding in that environment. Everywhere isn’t for everyone. She has to do her part and if she can’t, she may be better elsewhere. My advice is to find out what the issues are. Why do ppl want her gone? What is she doing or not doing? Then determine a path forward if there is one all things considered.

helpful

Also wanted to say that she’s been struggling to work online all day. Hasn’t been available for training. She is struggling in this position. I want to help her but not sure how. My co workers are starting to not want her here and you can feel the tension. She doesn’t know that I’ve been in my co workers ears saying good things about her and asking them to give grace. Also that I’ve been coming to her defense on things. I’m protecting her in private.

like

You are so right! Might not be her season. I won’t even dig into why she is on a PIP. I’m minding my business from here. I’m just wishing her well.

Update: I’ve decided to remove myself from personally investing and giving my time. It really hurts my heart to say that because I truly want to see a black woman succeed even if she end up doing better than me. But I realize this may not be a position that truly suits her and if she wants to succeed in it then she will truly fight to be successful in it. She has a very high intelligence and honestly she may be bigger than this job. Another thing is that she is going through a lot personally and that may be reflecting in her ability to perform at work. Mentally she is probably just drained. I will continue to help her if she has questions but have decided to remain neutral in everything. I wish her the best and hope she gracefully overcomes what she is going through.

I’ve talked with her about her personal life and have encouraged her to take care of herself and to reach out if needed. She is on leave now so she is definitely taking care of it.

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