I transitioned out of the service about a year ago. Does anyone else feel like you have to hold your tongue and think before you speak constantly? I feel like I’m having trouble fitting in cont....

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Been out of the navy submarine service for 25+ years and still must use caution and hold my tongue. Too many snowflakes get offended and have hurt feelings. Most of consulting doesn’t understand a military perspective but have the answer without ever having accountability. When we were wrong usually someone died. Way too much responsibility for consulting .

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Ditto. Fortunately I came out and went through college, so there was an adjustment period. There is still a repressed sailor inside me that begs to get out from time to time

Submarines once...

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You must unlearn a lot of the macho boys club, super gung ho, ass kicker, wear my golf cleats on your desk, 12 o clock high, cane mutiny, top down, hierarchical, paternalistic model of leadership that the military is based on to be successful on the outside. That model is 30-40 years out of date. You are entering a multi gender, multi ethnic, team based, empowered at every level, win-win, respect and dignity, 360 feedback world. The old ways not only no longer work, the things you were rewarded for in the service actually create anti-success in the new corporate world. I have been out 5 times longer than I was in and it takes a lot of reflection and change to reject all that baggage. You gotta build people up and sell them a vision they can buy into if you are going to be seen as successful and adopted by your team as an equal worth listening to.

My 2cents

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Hold tongue for what reasons?

Regardless, it gets easier the longer you're out. At least it did for me. I've been out 8 years and seems a lifetime ago, like another me.

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Well in that case...this isn’t the military. Not being PC/and handing out a** chewings isn’t compatible. There’s always Intellitrac, QP or MEP if you still long for that. 🤷🏽‍♂️

#moveon #letitgo

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You have to let go of the military mindset and remind yourself that you’re starting a new career. Adapt.

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You should all stop emulating what you though good leadership was in the military. You all think you are channeling Patton but you are just being loud and offensive to make up for your lack of personality

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And most don’t understand the twisted sense of humor.

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33 years out and I know longer care who I offend. I usually hang the number for HR complaints at my desk and just be me. Its been about 10 years since anyone said I should be more PC. They've just learned I'm an equal opportunity bigot and will rip in to anyone who needs it regardless of age, position, gender, religion, etc. My attitude has now spread and there is a group of us referred to as "the GODS" (grumpy old dudes). It helps when the group has a perfect delivery record for on time and client satisfaction.

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“Hold my tongue” in being very politically correct and not cussing/ letting somebody have a full asschewing. Honestly feel like I’ve lost my mojo

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Also if you are talking politics at work or offending people with your “feedback” you are not transitioning. If everyone has a problem but you then guess who really has the problem.

🧘🏿‍♂️

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I’m trying to, transitioning has been mentally harder than I thought and adapting to the office world. It’s difficult when the military is such a big an important chapter of life, yet most have no idea/ don’t care

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The military is not the healthiest management style. It is the most transparent and authoritative. If you are not used to being questioned from a place of authority you are in for a rude awakening.

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Correct everyone else is the problem.

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EY1- we are like separated at birth twins! I’m a submariner from the early 90s.

My teams all joke about my inappropriate comments, how we are constantly in the “grey”.

At this point it’s part of my brand. But it’s a fine line.

OP- don’t screw it up!

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It gets easier but I'm 6 years out and still struggle.

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BA1. Agreed. “STFU and execute” is not the prescribed method people.

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C1, yea, No. I’m a retiree as well. Adapt or get left behind.

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I feel you OP. Got too used to being in a position of authority and having the right answer. Now hesitant to speak because I don’t want to be wrong. Trick is to let go of your ego-people don’t give a shi* and won’t listen half the time, so speak your mind regardless.

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And anxious about interacting with colleagues, never sure about what to say.

No issues, but I went Federal/Defense, so the transition was almost seamless.

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