{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I tried cutting for the first time. I don’t recognize myself. I want to take short term disability to “fix” myself. Therapy isn’t enough. I don’t know how to do that. Has anyone done it? Any advice?", "post_id": "5bacf825d523840013954be9", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "59d02db312fe2f0011e02215", "bowl_name": "Depression/Anxiety Talk" }

I tried cutting for the first time. I don’t recognize myself. I want to take short term disability to “fix” myself. Therapy isn’t enough. I don’t know how to do that. Has anyone done it? Any advice?

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You are enough. You are worthy. You could go to a clinic and stay there for treatment if therapy isn’t enough (is this with a psychologist or psychiatrist?). This too will pass. Hope it does soon.

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I was at PwC and took medical leave. Just call your HR manager and tell them you need to take medical leave. They’ll transfer you to the leave center and everything after that is HIPAA confidential and not disclosed to your leadership. Don’t feel under stress to come back quick. Take all the time you need, and aggressively seek all the help you need. PwC will also waive career round table if you request it in the same year you took medical leave and will automatically give you the same rating as last year. My performance had started to tank before I left, so it was a godsend.

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I grew up in a toxic home and took the blade to myself. So did my brothers. OP, this time shall pass too. You have so much options to get help. You got some solid advice here. Follow that and get help you need. My brothers and I didn’t have that option. We literally powered through that phase. Eventually one of my bros got some help, I never did. Now I am planning to get tattoos of things I wrote on myself with the blade (yep I literally carved out words) as battle scars to remind myself that I got over that. Every one of us is different, some of us need help, its completely normal. You can do this.

likehelpful

You are loved. See a psychiatrist if therapy isn’t working. No shame in finding help or medicating

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I’m here if you need someone to talk as well. I just helped someone with information about short-term disability/leave of absence information.

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Psychiatry and medicine are 2 areas of science that I personally put a lot of faith into. Hang in there bud and get help if you really need it. People care about you and work is understanding most of the time

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Also, let me know if you’d like to talk . I’m here.

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Please take the time off - you are so much more important than your job. I’m also open to talking if needed, having gone through similar bouts.

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When I was 22 I put myself in inpatient therapy for two months and I can honestly say it was the hardest and best thing I’ve done for myself. After that, I did another 3 months of outpatient programming + my regular therapy. Sometimes you need a bigger boost than just a session a week. Inpatient might not be for you - but talk to your therapist on what you can do in the meantime. Building quick coping mechanisms and practicing them, finding an accountability buddy, maybe increasing therapy sessions to a few times a week.

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Thank you everyone for your words of support and advice. I’m FINALLY talking to HR today to at least get firm approved time off for my therapist appointments.... but I think I may need to take a couple weeks off to really get myself together. Whenever I’m in a hotel room alone I think about cutting and cry. I’m going to talk to my doctor about it today. Thank you everyone again it means so much. This is such a difficult thing to handle...

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The only “cutting” you should be doing is through gym/diet. OP, please seek help from a professional. It’s absolutely OK and you will be doing yourself a favor. Take time off if needed. Keep a longer term perspective, life is too beautiful to not to live to the fullest. Sending good vibes your way and hope you find a path forward - I’m certain that you will!

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Feel free to reach out and message, I’m somebody who has cut in the past, has had a handful of distinct depressive episodes, and a suicide attempt. I am on 2 antidepressants and I see a psychiatrist regularly. No shame in that. I want to be off the antidepressants, but still need more time for my mood to stabilize before my psych will taper me off

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Take disability and seek professional help

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I have bipolar disorder & took a 4 week health leave this year to sort myself out during a rough patch. It was as easy as contacting HR and requesting the health leave. Everything after that (your reasons for health leave leave, etc) was confidential and I simply needed a note from my family Dr. I chose to share my reasons with a couple partners at work and they were all very supportive. Hang in there and feel free to reach out if you ever need anyone to talk to.

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