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Bowl Leader
OP, I did the exact same thing. I walked in, saw the word “God” on the wall, and completely closed my ears and my mind. I remember nothing from that meeting and assumed AA wasn’t for me.
I then proceeded to drink for another four years and watch my world crumble around me, and more importantly, I felt my soul crumbling within me. In those four years I crashed another car while blacked out, spent a night in jail for a public intoxication, cheated on my girlfriend nonstop, woke up hung over wanting to die after every weekend, and I just felt plain helpless. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Then through some miracle, I walked back into AA and was ready to hear what they had to say. I had just enough humility to admit that maybe I didn’t know how to solve my drinking problem but clearly these other guys and girls in the rooms had found something that worked.
The AA seed has been planted. You can either choose to keep it in the dark, unwatered, and without sunlight, or you can just surrender and see where the rabbit hole leads you. 🕳🐇
As others have mentioned, there’s a whole chapter dedicated to us non-religious folk. And the AA program is spiritual not religious, and if you don’t know the difference, stick around long enough so you find out.
Lastly, we all start at step 1. Ignore all the other steps. Are you powerless over alcohol? Does it control your thoughts and feelings and actions? And is your life unmanageable? Does it feel like you’re never good enough and can never get ahead and never fit in? If yes, then AA could certainly be the right place. I found much more than sobriety in AA, and that’s why it’s my choice for recovery, but if something works for someone else then that’s awesome too!! A day without a drink is a good day. :)
In my mind, the higher power to me is more spiritual than religious. Coming from another non religious person
I get it, I felt the same way. But the more I learned (from both the AA literature and from talking to people) the more I saw that it was completely open ended with how I defined “god” or my higher power, and not specifically religious at all. I know a few atheists who are active members, too. For me it’s just a matter of living life on a spiritual basis and sorting out some unhealthy thought patterns. I’m not religious but I had to accept that I wasn’t running the show. I was also desperate to try anything even if it meant a little god talk, which is more like “the universe” or “the spirit of good things” to me. Also different meetings have different approaches. I’ve been to a meeting where they used a Christian prayer and that was weird but I just found a different meeting that was a little more general.
AA doesn’t require you to be religious or even believe in God. When you hear the term “higher power” in AA all that means is “not you”. There are plenty of agnostics and atheists in AA.
Yeah I hear you but it really isn't religous. I have been sober for a while and I am anything but religous. Question is can you get your arms around a higher power - a power greater than yourself. If you can, you are all set, anytime you think it is religous or read something that you think is just say to yourself "a power greater than myself"
Sober for almost 4 years here and personally AA is not for me. I’m not religious and have hard time understanding its effectiveness . However, everyone needs something. I just refute the idea that everyone needs AA. So if this doesn’t work for you find something else.
Cognitive behavioral therapy, SMART RECOVERY, SOS, etc.
Bahahaha AA is not the end all and be all. I go to therapy and other groups. This comment is exactly why I dislike the general AA mentality. There is no empirical evidence that AA works more than cognitive behavioral therapy or medication.
Please don’t come EXPLAIN to me what I have or don’t have. I don’t know you and you don’t know me or anything I have gone through to get where I am. I am merely suggesting alternatives.
This was a trigger for me too. I just joined 2 weeks ago and so far we’ve spent 4 of my 6 meetings explaining what “higher power” is and it is NOT RELIGION. It can be as you interpret it. There is a whole chapter on Agnostics.
Not a religious person either. For me, the concept of a higher power was simply admitting that I couldn’t get sober alone. I need the help of others - a higher power than myself . Try starting with that simple reframing and just keep going back to meetings. After almost 6 years in recovery, my idea of a higher power evolved, but I needed to start in a simple place.
Bowl Leader
I shared in a meeting, that when my mentality went from “No, never”, to “maybe”, that was the day I had a chance at recovery.
Not religious either but AA and therapy has worked for me. Like others have said, AA isn't mission critical to get sober. I tried many different avenues but AA worked for me. I can easily quit but it is the staying sober part that was hard for me. I found emotional sobriety which is what has kept me sober. I would suggeat you go to several meetings but go to different groups as they all have their own personality for lack of a better term. We have agnostic and atheist meetings around my town. I made so many friends in AA and it is nice to be around other people who all have the same goal. Also, Try SMART recovery too. Maybe there is one in your area you could check out. Good luck!
Try the Reframe app. I was and still am committed to cutting back. It’s useful tool for what ever your path is, AF or cutting back.
Go to NA instead. Much less religion. They have the higher power concept but it’s very much not religious. Lots of atheists find recovery in NA.
There's a chapter in the Big Book called "We Agnostics" give it a read. There are plenty of agnostic pod casts as well.
Religion is not important for the 12 steps. In most meetings they will explain its simply a higher power, that doesn’t necessarily mean religion that could be your grandma in heaven, a door knob, the overall universe. Just something you believe in that is bigger than yourself. I’m not a big religious person either but I know there are power that be that a greater than me that make the world continue to go around and that things happen for a reason beyond my control.
Unfortunately AA has a premise that you accept that there is a higher being.. Many members are very religious. It’s what turned me off to AA. Plus I hated that I couldn’t respond directly to people it was weird. I actually got chastised for it. After that I left and tried group therapy it was much more my speed.
I despise religion as well but I like the god within me, and I appreciated the chapter on agnostics.
Im an atheist and I’ve gone to weekly AA meetings for a few years now. I’ll admit the god language and outdated gender references are really off-putting and you have to twist yourself in mental knots to get past it. It still annoys me. It’s galling a lot of the time.
Why do I go? The people. Every meeting someone says a thing I strongly relate to, even if it’s just one sentence or story. Plus I’ve gotten a lot out of doing the steps slowly and figuring out what each means to me.
In case it’s helpful, my higher power is Time. Time is demonstrably real. It’s philosophically important. And I rail against it when I’m being willful. When I “turn it over” and say “ok, this is where I am now. I’m here.” I find a sense of peace.
Are there Big Book thumpers out there who read the AA text like it’s some holy scroll? Sure. Could the entire book be rewritten and maybe covered in 9 steps? Sure. Don’t let these imperfections get in the way of getting sober with help. At least that’s how I see it