{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I usually join a meeting saying \"hey guys\".. I've always done this.. the other day someone in the call pointed out that not everyone in the meeting were male.. I was slightly taken aback . I use the term 'guys' in a completely gender neutral sense and thought that was the norm.. am I totally in the wrong here?", "post_id": "61e4d4011d450f0034e2e66c", "reply_count": 322, "vote_count": 70, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

I usually join a meeting saying "hey guys".. I've always done this.. the other day someone in the call pointed out that not everyone in the meeting were male.. I was slightly taken aback . I use the term 'guys' in a completely gender neutral sense and thought that was the norm.. am I totally in the wrong here?

likefunnyhelpful
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As a female partner who is still often the only female in the room, the term "guys" has never bothered me. I think of it like "folks" - a universal reference. "Gentlemen" is different (as is "ladies," although that rarely comes up). Guys doesn't bother me because I understand the context of how it's being used. That said, I do go out of my way to try to use different terms, especially when meeting with new people whose views and perceptions I don't know yet. Communication always works better when the people with whom you're communicating feel safe in that environment. I don't want a greeting to knock us off track right away, and people have become more sensitized to these things. People are on high alert for being offended. I've found its best to accept that no one will care what my intent is if they don't know me or trust me yet, so I do my best to pay attention to those details. It tells others right away that I respect them, which I do. THAT'S what I want to communicate.

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You are not wrong. People are way too sensitive with the topic. Relax you guys!

likeupliftingsmart

“Mansplaining” is such a bullshit term lmao But yeah probably just say hey everyone that works for me

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I've tried to move away from it. It low effort for me, and if it makes people feel more included, then that's a good thing.

likeupliftinghelpfulsmart

I bet Ukranians are really worried about this now. I understand and applaud being inclusive, but some of these conversations are the height of personal privilege.

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I got reported to HR for saying hey guys. Absolutely ridiculous.

likefunny

That’s crazy …I say hey guys a lot…will now change that . Never thought it would be offensive

likeuplifting

I’m often the only female in a meeting so I totally notice when someone says guys or gentlemen or even girls when referring to women. I brought it up that it bothers me and my team has been cool and started using other words because it matters to me. We aren’t perfect and still say the wrong thing sometimes but the effort and awareness is there and it means quite a bit to me.

likefunnyhelpfulsmart

@scott "Folks" sounds ageist to me and is exclusionary to people of a younger generation. Why can't we use age agnostic pronouns instead. Let's all do better.

like

It’s 2022 - nothing makes sense anymore

likefunnysmart

I just always say hey team.

likesmarthelpful

What about work isn't about sounding fake?

likehelpfulfunny

You clearly missed the “woke” revolution

likefunny

It's always "guys is a gender neutral term." Until you're asked how many guys you've slept with.

likefunnysmarthelpful

VP2 lacks basic contextual comprehension. Best of luck to you 🤪

I get why most think it’s harmless but would you say hi ladies to a mixed gender group 🤔?

likefunny

Several languages use the masculine pronoun to address a larger group.

Na you’re not totally wrong but I guess you just got some hardo on call with you.

like

Language is always evolving. Adjust accordingly.

likehelpful

If 98% of people agree to one definition of a word, then a minority of people suddenly start saying “no, it means something else”, and suddenly 15% have a new definition, those 15% can have their own definition but they don’t get to call the other 85% wrong for refusing to “adjust accordingly”

likesmart

“Morning everyone” or “Hey all” all encompassing alternatives.

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Thanks hero

funnylike

If you’re really alpha you’ll start the next call with “hey guys”

likefunnysmart

If you’re really sigma, nobody is on the call lmao

funny

Some people actively look for reasons to be “offended.” This is no different than someone in Spanish saying ellos to refer to a mixed group of men and women. This person needs to get over themself.

like

No this actually isn’t the same. In Spanish they have multiple words like that eg hermanos is brothers or brothers and sisters. You would never say that in English. And yes if you are referring to a room of mixed company as “guys” you should do better

Looks like I gotta bring this out again

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funnylike

Folks 👍

likefunny

“Hey all you cool cats” - works for D2 and everyone else

likefunny

How about “hey buttheads” any sexist connotations here?

likefunnysmart

Nope, totally gender neutral

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That’s stupid, I do the same thing and I’m a woman

likehelpful

KPMG 1, wtf does that even mean, really!? 🙄🙄🙄

Im baffled by the number of people (likely men) on here who don’t see the issue or are saying “get over yourself, you’re creating problems!” If it were reversed and people started meetings with “hello ladies” you can bet your ass the men will throw hands and burn the place down

likefunny

No, Men wouldn’t get offended if people said “Hey Ladies.” It’s just not generally in our nature to nit pick things like that. Case and point, there is an entire practitioner educational series at Deloitte that tries to teach/warn employees about PII, laptop security, confidential info practices that showcases a dumb guy making all these mistakes, the series is literally called “Don’t be That Guy” …never heard a peep from the male population about the “harmful gender stereotypes” this series perpetuates. Cause we don’t care.

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