I was assaulted by a worker in my home and since then I recoil from anyone of similar ethnicity. I wish it wasn’t that way. Any assault survivors on here who have experienced similar and moved past it?

likehelpful
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This is beyond random internet stranger pay grade. Go see a licensed professional!!

likefunnyhelpful

Sorry to hear. I was assaulted and also recoil people from similar ethnicity. I have tried to move past it but it’s hard.

likehelpful

I was SA by my ex and it impacted me in a lot of ways. In order to move past it, I went to a lot of therapy and worked on myself. It wasn’t easy, but after time I worked through it. Trust is still something I have issues with. And,
I don’t see that changing to be honest.

like

Definitely talk to someone about it. It will help with the healing process as well as help you see that not all people from that ethnics background are the same or will hurt you in that same way

likehelpful

I’m terribly sorry to hear this but I hope that while you’re healing/learning what your life looks like after this even that you’re not supervising people of this ethnicity.

like

It took me years to stop being afraid of men in general - but I got there eventually. I tried to give myself mantras to remember, and tried to think logically in situations that made me uncomfortable. I also ended up dating and marrying my now-husband, and he was helpful in helping to calm me down when I needed it - it doesn’t need to be a romantic partner, but having someone to talk me down was really helpful.

This might not help you, but it helped me: I forgave the men who did this. I started to think that they are sick people, and that me holding onto my anger and fear wasn’t helping me - but forgiving them could. I don’t wish anything ill on them anymore. By doing this, I could also forgive myself - it isn’t logical, but I blamed myself a lot, and that was more harmful than anything else.

It honestly gets better. It’s been about 15 years and I almost never think of it, and feel very normal.

like

I have the same situation.
I was sexually assaulted by a white American man and recoil from that ethnicity & demographic now.

like

What's the ethnicity

likefunny

I CANT stand the They thing, like bruh if he was born a guy say he and girl she that’s it don’t complicate it for other

like

Therapy would be beneficial. But why do you choose to focus on the person's ethnicity? Do you recoil from everyone who has the same job as that person? The same eye or hair color? The same height? The same style? Why would you associate their ethnicity with what they did? Why do you attribute the blame to everyone of that shared ethnicity? Most likely you already had an unconscious bias before this incident. Think of the Liam Neeson situation. He could have focused on any other attribute but he focused on race. That's not an accident. I don't want you to feel guilty. But I would try to unpack this bias with a professional.

likesmart

Check out EMDR specialized mental health practitioners. It's specifically meant to treat traumatic experiences.

You need to rewire your neural connections essentially.

I'm sorry you were assaulted. I hope you find some relief soon.

like

I hope Manager isn’t here to tell you that your one experience shouldn’t make you feel that way.

But seriously, I went in a different direction and thought that’s all i was good for to all men. I didn’t seek out therapy till way later in life. Therapy really helped, doing it on your own or trying to maneuver healing from that kind of thing isn’t a 1 person job. It does get better and talking about it actually helps to process things, hearing yourself say the thoughts in your mind gives us better perspective.

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