I was just denied being allowed to take two days off for a funeral of a close relative! Like okay it was more of a courtesy letting you know not a request, I’m still going

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Glad to hear you’re planning to still go.

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Name and shame the company.

likehelpful

D1, few thoughts.

1) Yes, OP lost a very close relative and that’s sad news. But they felt bad enough about their employer treating them this way that they came to this message board to post about it. Again, for the sake of others never being in this situation and advancing the treatment of all employees in the US, they should name the firm.

2) It’s not really a self serving request. I’m fairly positive this type of behavior by a manager would not fly at Accenture, Deloitte, or McKinsey and if any manager was propagating it, HR and enough other partners at these companies would side with the employee.

3) If OP names the company and someone else on fishbowl works at that company, perhaps they can help OP get this made right with their company.

4) As far as retaliation from a sociopathic manager, I think that’s a fair point. It would depend on how much OP cares about the retaliation. I still think I’d never want to even consider working with someone like that and hope OP feels the same way. If they do get retaliation for something like this, I’m sure many of us on this app would be happy to get OP re-placed at one of our firms.

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Deloitte!

likefunny

The fact that "allow" is even used in this case is surprising. This is not a situation that needs permission just an fyi to their leadership

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Years ago at a previous employer (not Deloitte) one of my best childhood friends had passed away so I went to his funeral. I accepted a job a few days before I heard the news.

During the funeral the parents of the deceased wanted me to give a speech because we were close growing up. A few minutes before the speech, my new boss calls me during the funeral and I picked up (big mistake). I was still going through paperwork and onboarding so hadn’t started yet. I told my boss that I was at a funeral. His response? “Sorry to hear that. Hey, can you get me forms XYZ? I need them by the end of the day, the client is asking for it.”

I told him this will have to wait and I hung up. This was not an emergency by any means

What.the.fuck. Is wrong with the modern workplace. We can live in a nasty and toxic society. I don’t know if it’s our culture or human behavior. Probably both

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Out the firm

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d1- clearly the denial to attend the funeral service impacted them enough to come on these boards and make a statement. this is unacceptable behavior from their firm’s leadership and should be called out

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I find it hard to believe this actually happened. Who "denied" you?

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name and shame

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Which firm?

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This happened to me when I was in the Army. Never again since I stopped having bosses with legal authority over me.

Sorry for your loss, OP. Glad you’re ignoring that subpar manager.

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Never miss a funeral, birth or wedding for work. Anyone who doesn’t understand that you don’t want to work with.

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Tell them to F off and do what you need to do.

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Sorry to hear about the loss. My best friend took his own life earlier this year.

Hang in there. I’m glad to hear you’re going anyway.

likehelpful

I’m so sorry :(

Definitely go anyway. The denial is crazy. Were you denied 2 days off, but only 1 instead? Are you allowed to flex work sooner or later to make time? Any other details or workarounds?

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Also, in general, no one person should be that important or irreplaceable on a project. I’m imagining situations coworkers of mine have been in where they unexpectedly have to take 2-3 weeks off and the project goes just fine… like there’s just no grounds to ever deny someone time off like that

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Time for a new job

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OP, I am so very sorry about the loss of your close relative. I hope you’re able to find comfort in memories of them and you’ll celebrate their life with others at their funeral.

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Ugh, typical consulting culture... sorry to hear that...

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Go to the funeral, though naming and shaming the company probably identifies the OP given the timing and circumstance. Take it up internally. Don’t do it on FB.

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Wow. Go to the funeral and Seek employment elsewhere

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Kind of related to this. A very close friend at McK was dinged at his year end review for taking two days off in the middle of a project for his brother’s wedding.

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@P1 - I feel validated. Your advice is exactly how I started managing my career once I had enough experience to make moves. When this type of obtuse behavior happens now, I just laugh and plot the next move with the lesson learned filed away. A hefty savings account cushion also helps with the transition.

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I name and shame.

Had a director at PwC who wouldnt allow me to take a week off for my own wedding.

I did end up adjusting my plans, but was so angry I gave notice so that I could use my PTO for my honeymoon a couple months later

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You need to go to the funeral.

You can always find another job later.
You will never have another opportunity like this to pay your respects to your relative.

Family first.

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