I was nice to a colleague for the sake of a project, now that the project is over he continues to reach out about non-work things. Is there any way to get him to leave me alone without seeming rude?

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Ugh story of my life being female! Act nice to a guy for 10 mins and spend the rest of your life avoiding him šŸ˜«

likefunny

Maybe not. Do I understand you correctly - you acted as if you liked him personally (and I presume socialized outside work hours) during the project, but you werenā€™t actually interested in a friendship with him? And he apparently does want a friendship with you? Or is it more like he wants to date you? If itā€™s the latter I do think you can say ā€œIā€™m not interested in dating youā€ politely. If itā€™s the former, Iā€™m not sure thereā€™s any way to say ā€œI just pretended to like you for the project but donā€™t really want to hang outā€ without being rude. Of course, if you keep saying no heā€™ll get the message eventually.

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Ignore him, OP. Iā€™m having a similar issue with a colleague on a project now. One social with ten mins of talking and heā€™s found me and sent requests on all my social media and keeps sending texts etc. totally unrelated to work. Ignore his messages, you donā€™t owe him anything. Donā€™t feel pressured to engage. If heā€™s being super insistent, just say youā€™re really busy with xyz, was there something related to the project he needed assistance with? Keep every interaction really formal and hopefully heā€™ll get the message. Good luck.

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Ignore.

It always amazes me how we, women, often feel the need to respond to everything even if we donā€™t want to engage in a conversation. I think itā€™s the closure. I had to work on that but am a pro now - professionally and personally; I just donā€™t respond; eventually they get a clue.

Good luck, OP.

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I did the bare minimum to maintain professional friendliness for the sake of the project despite disliking him as a person. He acted weird during the project contacting me way too much and annoying the hell out of me. Itā€™s very likely that there is romantic interest on his end but he never explicitly stated it or did anything that would cross the line as a code of conduct violation.

Weā€™re in different offices and donā€™t see each other anymore but he continues to reach out via email, slack, Skype, and text to check in or talk about non-work things. I havenā€™t responded to him in months (since end of the project) but he continues to reach out every couple weeks.

Iā€™m amazed that he hasnā€™t taken the hint yet and wondering if I should be more direct. But I canā€™t fathom a way to do that without coming across as a total bitch

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Thanks for the context OP, makes it a lot clearer. Yeah, ignore. Or, maybe say something along the lines of ā€œhey, you may have noticed Iā€™m not responding to your notes. Iā€™m really busy and donā€™t have time to chat.ā€

funny

I had this happen once - weeks of messages and him wanting to hold longggggg personal conversations - & i slipped in ā€œ...my bf...ā€ and BAM he cut the conversation short and never reached out to me again. Maybe you can do the same, whether you have a bf or not.

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Brutal, I love it. Thanks for the advice everyone I will continue to wait it out. Def have some hilarious screenshots at this point of dozens of messages with no response haha

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