Female Bosses

I was sexually harassed (assaulted, specifically) at a work event more than a decade ago. The VP who did this was fired (I did not report; someone else reported). This VP is still in the same...

likehelpful
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon
works at

If it is good and you trust them and his name comes up on the same deal, I would consider sharing it with them if you do not want to deal with it. I think you need to take care of yourself and your needs first. If your gut says avoid, avoid. You don’t owe anyone anything and you’re very brave for going through this. If you’re open to this, maybe seeing a therapist might be a good idea to make sure this doesn’t send you to a bad place. If you think it would be helpful to chat, let me know and I’ll send you a burner. Again, all my good vibes. Hang in there.

Reaction Icon Like
likesmarthelpful
Arrow Icon

Oh man, OP. This has to be stressful. Sending you my love and support. How are you with your leadership in general? Trust them? Do.they support you?

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

You are destroying yourself with these thoughts. Key things for you. 1 should you encounter simply state there is no room in your life for slime like him. Dont worry about who hears it. 2nd dont ever be alone to give him opportunity for a rebuttal. He will tread lightly as he doesn't want his story to come out. We have to be able to move beyond these what if thoughts. It's not fair. Happy thoughts to you and your moving beyond this fear.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

A1— I can’t do it. At the time, I went thru an internal investigation, EEOC complaint and legal battle with the old company because I was discriminated against after he was let go (demoted and responsibilities removed). Nightmare situation that destroyed my career at that company and was a catalyst for the end of my first marriage. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me and knowing what I know now, I would have taken much different legal steps. I love this thread thank you for the support & recommendations.

Reaction Icon Like
likehelpful
Arrow Icon

As for the how you do that, I’d worked with a therapist who helped me talk through the scenarios and what I would say. That therapist also helped me remove my guilt for how I got into the situation which we’re taught to do as women to blame ourselves for how much we drink what we wear things that we’ve said, she help me remove all that personal stigma from myself. Then I also wrote it down in a letter what I really wanted to say to him so that I didn’t feel that bottled up when I might be around him. Mine was fired too but I worry that I might see him even if I fly to the same state again. But if I do I know I’m prepared. Kind of an emotional shield. So find what makes you feel strong

Reaction Icon Like
likehelpful
Arrow Icon

Is there a statute of limitations for sexual assault in your state? A crime should be reported, even just to file the report even if the statute has expired. Will help another persons case if he has been a repeat offender. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but do something about it now to help someone else

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

OP I’ve been through something similar. I understand some of what your dealing with. It’s something so hard to endure. I trust your assessment of what you can do now. So definitely take care of yourself, protect yourself, and put together an inner circle that can help with that - sharing with them what you feel is needed so they understand the gravity of the situation. I just wish there was a way to not have to be around him. But do think through what you would say, and how you’d want to handle situations around him so your prepared and secure. From my experience I’m definitely more of the TimesUp mindset. But that’s not where I’d been when something similar occurred. So at least now you are wiser, stronger, and can make it so your not alone. Take care of you and be on the defensive .

Reaction Icon Like
likehelpful
Arrow Icon

industry and technology space as me and we have many overlapping contacts. The higher I go in my industry, the more likely it is that I encounter this person. He viewed my LinkedIn profile for the first time in a decade today which makes me think that there’s a trigger that’s work or client related. WTF to do if I come face to face with this person unexpectedly at work at a mutual client? How do I practice what to say? If he is on the same client (he works for the technology provider), then do I tell my leadership?

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

I’m so sorry u went through this. Remember ur stronger than u were before!

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

I don’t have a lot of advice and others seem to have wiser words...I just wanted to say how deeply sorry I am that you had to endure that in your past and how sorry I am that it’s resurfaced. I hope you can find peace and never have to deal with that scum and miserable excuse for a human again.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Sorry to hear of your situation. I have something not entirely comparable, but relatable-- my whole company and division know I think of the dude and the whole management at a company as scum-- they don't have specifics and I don't give specifics, but I tell people to look for themselves and make their own determination. I'm a high performer and people know not to put me in any situation where I have to deal w any of those people F2F or phone; at most my people come to me for advice and my thoughts on those former people, which I try to give objective feedback on. It sucks and I'm fortunate to have landed at and w the team I have today; I pray you have the same good fortune

Reaction Icon Like
helpful
Arrow Icon

When I was in situation at work event where dude came up to me to try to talk to me/shake my hand, I took my hand back, grabbed my nearest coworkers arm, gave it to the dude and told him my coworker would take care if him and walked away.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Thinking/practicing will just make u go crazy. Put it out of your mind and trust your gut/instincts. Self-preservation is a beautiful thing

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Practice this in your mind. See yourself walking up to him and saying “stay the fuck away from me or I’ll make you wish you had.” Thinking strong makes you strong.

Reaction Icon Like
helpful
Arrow Icon

Related Posts

Going through a breakup, have a work related all nighter in front of me, and tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day 🤦‍♀️ rough times

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Feel kind of silly saying this, but getting more concerned about covid-19. I’m 28 y/o, generally healthy but think I may have high blood pressure, which I’ve read raises risk. Anyone else feel similar

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

With all this WFH people are having, we about to have some Corona-kids.

likefunny
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Just for laugh...

Post Photo
likesmartfunny
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Anyone own a Honda passport? How do yall like it?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Anyone else still have the pinned post about the A wanting to WFH? Super irrelevant now (and tbh I find all pinned posts annoying and wish we could opt out...)?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

What’s big4 doing here

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

To the Republicans here, how can you sit there and watch the government you elected totally screw this virus response up? Watching an interview with a FEMA admin, and they don’t have a number...

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

I’d like to go back to complaining about chatty uber drivers and missed upgrades

likeupliftingfunny
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Accenture fishes: I’d like to know more about the reorganization that’s happening. In final rounds on interviews and I’m wondering if the reorg will have an impact. Thank you

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Touch the donkey in the ways it’s hair grows... is this well known phrase?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

every time a consultant glorifies their coffee addiction and reveres Starbucks, it grinds my gears. But this is cruel - close the damn stores.

Post Photo
likesmart
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Accidentally left my Company Bowl — how do I rejoin? Can't find it when I search threads/bowls. Thanks!

likefunny
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

It’s interesting how America spent trillions of dollars on wars and glorifying soldiers when the biggest threat to its wellbeing these days is a pandemic. Let’s invest more in our healthcare sector!

likesmarthelpful
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Interested in taking a more promiscuous approach to “dating” but unsure where to look. Fearful I’ll see/be seen by people I know by going the usual Tinder route. Any other ideas?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Been reading that Coronavirus is spread by breathing in droplets from sneezes/coughs. Should I stop breathing just to be safe?

likesmartfunny
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Is there 0 possibility of coronavirus being Chinas conspiracy theory against the trade war. Drive US consumerism down to downgrade the impact of trade war. why other apac countries are not as impacted

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Download the app for more exclusive discussions.