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Rising Star
I left a narcissist at the end of 2014. I’ve described him before on this bowl so I won’t go into all the details again, but, he was my first experience of the classic type. Absolutely gorgeous, but also very charming, made me feel like the most beautiful, loved thing on earth…for a time. But the menacing possessiveness soon emerged. He had to have everyone else believe however that he was the nicest guy and the best at what he did - cared A LOT about those opinions, but in private, I started to learn of a pattern he had of using women for their money, storing up material of them in compromising positions…he secretly filmed us and tried to blackmail me with it when I left him for getting physical with me.
Just this past December he sent me an email saying he has had a long time to think about what he did and he wishes he’d treated me better BUT I should really think about the things I did to provoke him, hahhahah! Narcissists have a pretty low prognosis for benefiting from therapy….
Pro
What a psycho. These type of guys also say stuff like “I may have hit you but you made me do it so it’s your fault”. Messed up logic - they are dead set serious about that feeling of victimhood. Scary.
Yep, I had no idea, and I thought I was intelligent. I was with him for 10 years. I feel like we are the most susceptible to be tricked, bc we want to fix the person, make it work, or can’t believe we were dumb enough to get ourselves into / stay in the situation. It’s rough.
The good news is- you can and will heal. I’m married (to someone else :) ) with a new baby and thank my lucky stars that I found someone who is literally the polar opposite of my ex.
My sister in law has NPD. she will never change but I have changed how I interact with her
Basically I don’t fall for her bait when she wants to fight/argue. I also give myself a time limit to hanging out with her. I wrap up dinner early, say I’m heading to bed, and just walk away.
Pro
I recommend watching dr ramani’s videos on YouTube, including the ones on medcircle. Super insightful and really will help you to move on.
Pro
I totally agree. Once you understand it you can’t ‘unsee’ even the subtle signs of it. Trust me it will help avoiding this kind of personality in future dating endeavours.
I had an ex who was NPD plus a sibling who seems to be NPD/ ASPD. These relationships are a nightmare.
Glad you’re done with him!
I haven’t gone through that, but you can check Aisha’s Narc Awareness highlight
https://instagram.com/aishathalia?utm_medium=copy_link
Sigh! Yes. He cheated and gaslighted about it. Found it at a difficult time in my life and didn’t know how to handle it. I still reel from it….. he doesn’t let anyone know about his indiscretions and loves to be seen as the charming one. And I am still trying to figure out what I should do.