I went out to work and my husband had packed up some of his stuff and left without leaving a note. I was able to get in touch with him and know where he is and that he wants to take a break. I was in care as a child and I dont have parents to speak to, and my friends have to go to sleep at some point. What are the first things I need to do to keep safe and are reasonable? He isn't violent and the joint account has nothing in it.

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Its hard to understand the context. But you can change the locks, going to the hardware store and watch a YouTube video on how to put in on. Get a ring doorbell, to know who is coming and going from your home. Get simplysafe or some other alarm system. Stop sharing your location with him if you do that. Change any passwords he may have known for your personal accounts. Make sure you have access to all utilities account so you can still pay the mortgage, water, electrical ect.

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...or ask a friend/neighbor to change the locks. Sorry to hear that you have to go through this.

What makes you think you're unsafe? You partner has no history of violence. He left peaceably with zero confrontation. I can get why you're upset and processing a lot but it doesn't seem like your safety is at issue. Is there something additional going on?

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AA1 - it’s not gaslighting. Look at the author’s comment.

Thank you everyone. It's actually been so refreshing living by myself. I get home after a 12 hour day to a clean home and food, I've had the chance to do a bit of exercise and text my friends. I sleep really well and I feel calm and happy, in control and empowered(not all the time obvs - work is very stressful!). I earn enough to pay all my bills by myself. Can I just live alone forever???!!

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I am so happy and proud of you!!! Onwards and upwards! I come from a family of lawyers and when my aunt and Mum got divorced they had to go on Zoloft and Xanax! Point is, you’re doing better than most. Sending good vibes! You got this! ❤️

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/what-do-after-separation

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Living alone when you aren’t used to it can be scary. If possible, get a dog. The bark alerts you to disturbances outside and scares most of them away. The need to take them for a walk twice a day gets you outside (and out of your head). Plus, they’ll keep you company on the sofa without complaining about your choice of TV shows. Security, companionship, and exercise! I went with an English bulldog - she looks scary enough to a non-dog person that I can walk with her after dark, but she isn’t actually dangerous and my toddler nephews can still visit and play with her. I could live without the slobber, but you have to take the bad with the good.

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Awwww first of all am so so sorry that you’re going through this. Breath, meditate, drink some calming tea. Pray. I hope you know whatever the outcome you will be okay 😭. How are you feeling? How’z your emotional state? I know probably devasted but on a range of 1 to 5 where are you?

Am so sorry! Sending hugs and good vibes. Stay strong! It gets better 💕

I am sorry you are going through that, it’s never fair if a person leaves without giving you the chance to have clarity. I second changing the locks and passwords. Also throw his shit in a box and enjoy the extra room in the closet. Do all the things, you couldn’t do around him, I am not trying to imply that he restricted you since I don’t know your situation. But in every partnership there is compromise and now you don’t have to compromise anymore, so sleep with as many or as little pillows as you want, set the temperature to your liking, etc

Talk to a divorce lawyer, they will have seen it all and be able to give you tailored advice to protect your assets. You don't need to file, if you're not ready, just know enough to protect yourself.

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