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I think you just tell him. If you're entitled to 12 weeks, you're entitled to them. So that's the floor. I'd start by telling him how much time you'd like to take and see what kind of reaction you get. If it's a small firm, it could go any number of ways. On the one hand, since it's a small place and you're the first person who's gotten pregnant, you can pretty much ask for whatever you want. However, if the firm is small and new, they may have a tougher time without you for a long period or may not want to pay you for all your time off. Be prepared to offer a number of possible alternatives, if your first request isn't recieved well.
I went through this exact situation. I had to tell my boss early on because of COVID and the extra precautions I needed to take. We ended up just working something out between us and ended with 8 weeks unpaid. Obviously paid would be ideal but it’s a tiny firm so I didn’t expect it
I would be candid around the end of the first trimester/beginning of the second. My firm qualified for FMLA and I did not get any compensation during 12 weeks leave. Actually, it was a whole negotiation over whether I would be entitled to 12 weeks at all—which was an extremely inflammatory process for me. What I did end up with was a raise at the beginning of leave, not payable until I came back (my boss thought I would ditch for another firm); and a few months later I received a second raise and two bonuses.
We negotiated all of this literally two weeks before I gave birth, even though we started the process around the start of my second trimester. So we negotiated for six months; and I 0/10 would recommend. So—my advice is to set hard deadlines on when the maternity negotiations are to end for your personal sanity and wellbeing.
How long have you been working at your firm? How many employees?