If I'm sort of planning family and career timeline, can you tell me what years are the most challenging with kids/most likely to slow down your ability to perform at your best at work?

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While I understand the point the other respondents made above – that you need to make sure you’re in a place in your life where you have room for kids – I think you’re smart to be thoughtful about it in your planning.

In my experience as a mother of a 19-year-old, 16-year-old and 13-year-old, the earlier years were more challenging emotionally in terms of feeling a bit overwhelmed and just by virtue of not being super experienced. Any bump in the road was the first time, so of course we overthought everything. For us, there also were some financial pressures associated with the cost of childcare, but I’m not sure if that will be relevant for you.

That said, we actually found it to be more challenging when the kids were a little bit older and started having a lot of different activities that we believed to be valuable, enjoyable, and worth trying to get them to. At various points in time we had kids playing soccer, lacrosse and doing tae kwan do, part of summer swim team, taking various instrumental lessons, attending Hebrew school, participating in a diving team 40-minutes away, taking singing lessons, part of Quiz Bowl, chess team, robotics club, student council, Model UN, mock trial, temple youth group and Beta club, going to math tutoring, then ACT tutoring, and participating in numerous theatre productions. You get the point. With three, it was definitely a lot at some points and more difficult, in my opinion, than when they were little. The logistics of parenthood, esp as a working parent, are no joke. Once they start getting their driver licenses, that eases, of course.

I also found that there were some very challenging times as the kids became teenagers in terms of emotional issues, stress from school, etc., that took a lot of energy and in some cases, money for and efforts to get one child to therapy. All well spent, but certainly something that was not a challenge we faced before we had a fourteen-year old.

Not sure if that is the kind of input you’re looking for... for me, The fact that I have worked from home for many years has been instrumental to the juggling act in our family. Where you work, your commute, and your flexibility in terms of hours, are all things to seriously consider.

likehelpfuluplifting

Maybe ask what years slow down your ability to be the best parent ;)

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If your concern is to maximize your performance at work then you might not ever want to have kids. They definitely will require time and attention you might otherwise dedicate to your work.

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