If I’ve told you my mental health issues make me feel uncomfortable coming into the office can you please just drop it and stop peer pressuring me to come in and do something I don’t want to do like we’re in middle school?! Thanks.

likefunny
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You have legal rights here to stop it. Get your doctor to request an ADA accommodation.

When you told them you had a mental illness that makes you feel uncomfortable coming into the office, you disclosed you had a disability. That affords your protection. What they are doing is engaging in harassment.

Now, you don’t have to go hard on it. You can say, I feel uncomfortable repeatedly being asked to come into the office when I’ve mentioned my disability makes that challenging for me. Please stop. If possible, do it via IM or email, so you have it in writing. This further protects your rights.

Saying it here is less likely to influence any change of outcome.

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OP - Maybe it’s best you switch to a fully remote role or switch firms. There are many places that offer full remote positions. It could be the ideal solution while you improve your mental health.

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Agree with others you should get this in writing and formally document. Is there a reason they keep wanting you to come in? Are there client reasons or is it just “connectivity”?

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I don’t get it - if going in to the office is a core responsibility, why can’t they terminate OP’s contract? Let’s say I’m wheelchair bound and get hired to be a construction laborer, for whatever reason, maybe because I didn’t disclose my disability, why does the construction company have to keep me on the payroll?

likefunny

I wouldn’t want to go in either

They told me they’re going to “challenge me” to come In at least once a week even if I did provide the doctors note.
There’s no reason I need to be in office besides “team building / mentorship”… this wasn’t even about the firm (I’ve given them up as a lost cause) but when I talk to friends / colleagues more generally. Like I’ve told you I don’t want to come in, please stop pressuring me to do so. I know it’s coming from a good place (“come in we’ll hang out!”) but if I’ve said I don’t feel comfortable doing it I don’t get why we can’t just drop the subject?

likehelpful

Because they are either unaware or don’t care that they are engaging in illegal harassment. You can try educating them, but you can also bring it up to HR and ask them to intercede, because clearly they intend to continue the illegal behavior. The legal term is workplace harassment. You say it’s coming from a good place, but friends don’t attempt to cause you distress or ignore your boundaries. Sorry you’re experiencing this, OP.

If you are going the HR route, you MUST have proof of their continuing to bring it up either in writing or you can record them if it’s on a call or in a meeting. Having a witness also serves this purpose, but get the witness to confirm they say it in IM or email. Witnesses forget things in an HR investigation.

Google the consent laws for your state before you record anything. You’ll want to make sure you’re in a single party consent state. Keep in mind many employers have policies that prevent you from recording without all parties’ consent. They say it’s for privacy or for client protection, but it’s to protect them legally.

Worst case, you can get a disabilities lawyer to send a letter outlining what you’re experiencing and put the company on notice, but again, you’ll want proof first.

Recently, a man with an anxiety disorder reached a $450k award for being fired after disclosing a disability, requesting his colleagues not celebrate his birthday at work, then they did it anyway, resulting in his needing to sit in his car to deal with the panic attack. He was subsequently fired for not returning to the job site after the panic attack. Hosting the birthday party anyway, writing him up for leaving after the party, and then firing him was viewed as discrimination and retaliation by the court. It’s illegal behavior.

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What makes you uncomfortable? Are you able to be around other people in other settings?

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OP - I’m sorry you’re experiencing these thoughts. Are you working with a therapist through these issues? The office and coworker avoidance is signaling that some serious inner needs to be done…but it can most definitely be overcome with a professional.

Additionally, you can seek guidance from your coach/mentor or trusted colleagues on how to overcome some of the feelings of being left out, how to connect with others…you can also tell your leaders how they can be more inclusive.

I didn’t mean for this to turn into a whole thing / argument. It wasn’t even about employers rights vs my rights. But more like venting / asking why do people peer pressure others to do things when they clearly aren’t feeling it haha.

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I’m sorry. I should have made my point clearer. I’m “not feeling” having a panic attack or dealing with my anxiety and depression. 👍

If you have this diagnosis in writing, they will absolutely stop once you remind them of it, I’d imagine

Yea I came in today. The client is not here, so I have to come in tomorrow as well.

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