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If parents have the means to pay for their child's college, should it be expected they pay for it?

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Agree with A5. My family was living in poverty, so I had to work and pay for my tuition. I never even spoke with my parents about helping me financially, because I knew that they would feel shitty confirming this to my face. Although I did my best to participate in student organizations which ultimately got me a job at Deloitte, I never had time to create lasting friendships or enjoy college. There was a summer when I finally landed my first internship, but it was unpaid so I kept my part time 30-hr job in order to support myself. I pushed myself to graduate in 3 years so I could find a job and help my parents out. I would never wish for this level of stress on my own kids. I find it cruel to make your kids suffer on purpose. You should be teaching your kids responsibility and making good financial decisions throughout their whole lives. I don't think I'll be able to pay for 100% of my kids' college, but I'm not going to withheld funds if I have it. I agree it should come with conditions like keeping up good grades.

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This is why so many Millennials appear to be coddled and can't think for themselves long term. Parents want to shield them from as many bad experiences as possible so they can enjoy life, rather than teaching them how to deal with problems and adversity.

Graduating high school or turning 18 is when people should be able to really start thinking for themselves, and understanding the consequences of choosing Harvard to get an English degree so you can write the next great American novel. You will certainly get a fine education, but it's a parents' job to walk their kid through the whole thought process - what if you don't write the next great novel? How will you continue to pay for that expensive education?

I'll do what my parents did - they saved all my life, and I knew I had a pot of money in my name for school. Anything above that was my responsibility. That pot would have covered about one year at Harvard, so I was welcome to go there, but I would be footing the bill for the other three years. That was a level of debt I couldn't sign up for, so I made a different choice. If Mom and Dad had been paying for it, I may have made a different choice, and they probably never would be able to retire.

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Your role as a parent doesn't end when your child grows up.

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Parents should be expected to do what is best for their children. In many cases, that includes educating and financially supporting​ your child.

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I'm with McK 1 on this one. If I haven't taught my children drive, accountability or personal responsibility by the time they are 18, it might be too late anyway. Just because I paid my why through college doesn't mean my children have to start from scratch too.

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Nope. I won't be (at least not in full). I want them to have some ownership and accountability for the decisions they make. The cost of school, what they decide to major in and what the implications of all that are. If we cover half they are responsible for the other half which could be covered by scholarships should they get them.

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If you're upper middle class and don't pay for your child's college, or atleast most of it, you're really fucking them over and are being greedy.

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I think parents show their children the importance of education & their unconditional love by paying for their children's education. This act shouldn't be some "learn-your-finances" lesson, but rather a "this is how you treat your family" lesson (humans learn just as much by watching their parents). And this lesson & love is passed on to the next generation repeating a cycle of education & love. If parents pay for college, it becomes the norm that formal education doesn't end at high school, it ends after college which would be great for the American society. I do agree it is upto the children to choose a reasonably priced school though (in-state options are plenty)

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My parents are upper class folks who refused to pay my college tuition. I got into MIT but had to take on massive debt. I think I made the right decision (versus going to the state school down the street), and it landed me here at BCG. But I also worked my ass off during school, couldn't take part in the kinds of extracurricular my friends did, and felt my experience suffered a great deal for it. In related news, I haven't seen my parents in years-- when they cut me off financially, I cut them off emotionally. Perhaps a thing for you arrogant parents to consider-- want to message to your kids that you love them less than the parents of friends who ponied up? Want to make them feel abandoned and like you don't care what happens to them? Want them to live below the poverty line so you can "teach them a lesson"? Well, fuck you and your privilege. You're actually throwing your kids straight under the bus, since they won't be eligible for financial aid and since you are too greedy to pitch in as you're expected to.

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Mine did, and it was expected. Just as it was expected that I get good enough grades in high school to also qualify for academic scholarships at the college I attended, just as it was expected that I maintained a certain GPA in college if I expected that education to continue being funded. Financial support from your parents doesn't have to make your kids spoiled. I worked hard and appreciate that my parents worked hard to make sure I didn't have to graduate with debt like they did. Now, I work hard for them, myself, and to setup my future children with the opportunities mine did for me!

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Yes, but it would come with conditions

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No, nothing should be expected which is the key word.

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This is an unclear question in passive voice.

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Yes parents are expected to pay for it. There are better ways to teach financial responsibility such as limiting any stipends given to the child (which may encourage them to get a part time job). College is a big ticket expense in 2017 and no 18 year old can handle the magnitude of it on his/her own. It is cruel and selfish to not give the child the tools necessary to live a financially independent life, if you can

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Yes, they should be expected to for it. It is also expected for the child to take care of their parents when they get old and are not able to take care for themselves rather than just drop them off at a retirement community unless that is what they want, then children's are expected to call them or visit them frequently so that they are close to their family. This is how most of eastern families are. Parents take care of their children when they need and Vice Versa.

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If you make a ton of money, you're kid is completely screwed financial aid wise. I grew up working class, and got a 50% need based scholarship. If my parents were upper middle class, and decided not to pay, I couldn't have gone to a top private school....and likely would've ended up with worse jobs as prestigious employers don't recruit from state schools usually.

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My plan is to have sufficient funds to pay for it, but have initially finance it themselves (as much as possible, at least) through scholarships, loans, etc. Assuming they graduate with a legitimate degree and show that they can do something with it, I'll pay the debt off. If they were able to secure scholarships/grants to subsidize the degree, I'll match it as a down payment towards house.

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PS-- colleges definitely expect you to pitch in if you can afford it. Financial aid packages are 100% determined based on patent income at most elite schools

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You need to make your children hard. Make them resent you. Make them killers.

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I paid for my entire college experience on my own with only some debt because I worked hard to pay as I went. I missed out on a lot. I feel like some distribution might be good, parents some kids some. It taught me about hard work and especially value and ownership. These are very important for succeeding in life. I wouldn't want them to go into too much debt to make it through for their part. My experience directly contributed me to being in the position I am now, 3 years to owning my home because I don't ever want to be in that weak, I don't own anything position again. It was harder than I wished it was though. "Expected" is a weird way to phrase your question. I wonder if you could talk with your children about it and together come up with a plan (assuming they are old enough)

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@mck1, key word is"child". College is a grown person's decision, not teaching 7 year olds the 3 Rs

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Of course, but your responsibility for their decisions does. If my kids grow up and think they're entitled to me funding their adult decisions, they will be sorely disappointed. It should not be "expected"

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