If you could go back and start over would you still choose this path? Or would you choose a different career and/or a different time to have children? I accidentally became a working parent in law so while I love my job and my children I don't think I would have planned it quite like this.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

No. Also an accidental parent working in law and if anything I would choose a different career. If I had known how much having a family would mean to me I would have chosen something that allowed for more time with them.

like

Same!

I would not have gone to law school. I would have gone directly into finance after undergrad, made as much money as possible for 15 to 20 years, and then had kids and switched to a lower stress lower salaried job. If I'd gone to a wall street trading floor I'd have worked less hours and made many multiples more money.

like

I’d have gotten a degree in industrial organization and not had kids. 🤷🏻‍♀️

like

I would not change anything. I truly don’t feel like I could have planned things any better. I was a mid level associate in big law when I had my first kid (I have two now) and i went to 70% after my kids and never looked back.

like

I’m in commercial real estate finance

like

I'm 29 with 4 kids and a stay-at-home wife. I spent 3 years in big law before deciding to go to a smaller firm in a smaller city. IMO there is no way to spend adequate time with your kids AND work a big law job. Sacrifices had to be made. If I could do it over again I wouldn't because I can't imagine life without my kids, but assuming, for the sake of the hypothetical, that I am back in that situation without awareness of my kids, I would push having kids by at least 5 years so I could throw more of myself into my work in the beginning.

I would still choose it. I learned so much in the 10 years pre-kids. I also learned how much my lids matter more in the following five years. We rearranged our careers just to be with our kids more after COVID. We realized we loved homeschooling. By going all in woth the amount of work I did in the first 10 years, I know the money isn't worth it, and I don't have any what-ifs about earning more money now.

Related Posts

It only took me 7 years to figure this system out.... posting in case it helps anyone else! I color coded my classes and printed off numbers according to the number of kids in my classes. I then assign each kid a number that corresponds with my gradebook. When they turn in their projects, they put their number with it. This way, no contact and I can easily see who has and hasn't turned in their projects yet. I take the list down once they remember their number.

Post Photo
likesmart

In a bit of a personal dilemma, and as someone who thinks by talking things trough need to get some input… since its about my normal sounding board person and I don’t have any non-mutual friends who I can turn to, coming for some hopefully-helpful perspective

like

Let’s say you hit a $1M net worth (I know, I know, not crazy high but lots for a child of bootstrapping immigrants) and decided you wanted out of the rat race and have no dependents or major obligations... where would you abscond to? I’m thinking tiny island with super low cost of living?

like

Am I tripping? Everyone loves calling my daughter (2 months) "lil chocolate drop" or "look at all that chocolate". I love my daughter's complexion, not only because it's mine, but because it's beautiful. However, I can't help but feeling like ppl "other" or make it weird by avoiding saying dark. Calling her dark is acceptable and appreciated. I know "chocolate" comes from a place of affection, but I just can't embrace it 💯.

like

My younger brother likes a girl from his college but will not tell her or go out with her. He won’t tell us why but we suspect it’s because the girl, although very pretty, isn’t as ‘slim’ as a conventionally good looking person. We also suspect his guy friends don’t consider the girl to be a great catch (!). We can tell he is struggling with this but not sure what to do. Has this ever happened to you? How can I help my brother break out of this? Any advice?

like

TV/ Movies recommendations needed! Was admitted to hospital for ongoing monitoring until the baby is born. We’re looking at anywhere from 1-12 weeks depending on baby. So any recommendations to get to help keep my mind off the scary stuff, would be strongly recommended! TIA!

like

How do you approach a stinky middle school kid or their parents with hygiene suggestions? I don’t know how to politely tell anyone that they smell bad.

like

Tips to maintain an Islam friendly work life balance in consulting? Are most of your friends consultants? I’m 24 and it’s always so hard to make plans with friends/attend events after work on weekdays

How long you need to be with EY before being eligible for paternity leave?

like

I’m off on maternity leave in October and am wondering if there are any Ad Creative meet-ups/groups that are baby-friendly but not baby-centric knocking around?

I’d love to keep my Creative brain ticking over while keeping in touch with the industry, rather than everything turning to mush.

like

Happy Mother’s Day!

Post Photo
like

6 months pregnant and just laid off. And 40% of my severance was just taken in taxes .. I just spoke with paid family leave and I no longer qualify even though I had been paying into the program (thanks NY).. I already applied for unemployment but doctors are telling me I’ve got 10-14 weeks left in this pregnancy.. so stressed having twins and being unemployed, no maternity leave, no paychecks coming in, and I’ve been applying but not a single interview.. just ugh. 😭

like

Poll: are you the type of person who keeps a strong relationship with your friends in a relationship, or tends to become MIA and devote most of your time to your SO? No judgements here!

like

Hi. I teach EBD kids in WA at a day treatment program. Looking forward to connecting with everyone

like

My BF (meet in October and been official since April) just changed his relationship status on FB and tagged me. Am I terrible for not wanting to accept it on my timeline??

like

My family is on my health plan and it’s open enrollment. Spouse is currently on leave and their federal health plan open enrollment is early next year. Is it possible to enroll us and our child on my health plan and then switch to spouse’s plan during their open enrollment? Also, typically are fed health plans that much better than private for families with one child?

like

Any book recommendations to gift my cousin sister? She studied (masters) psychology and is a trained classical dancer.

like

I’m not physically attracted to a guy I am seeing now however he adores me and he is absolutely so easy to be with / get along. Being with him is fun, relaxing, and just such a good time. He makes me feel so good about myself (a first!).

My sister thinks it’s settling but I feel like if my only gripe is appearance then that’s such an easy thing to change, right?

Can anyone (respectfully) shine some light on this? Be nice.

like

Hi all, can anyone point to good starting point resources for a same sex lesbian couple? My partner is sure she wants she carry via donor sperm but I want to make sure we are thoroughly exploring all options. Thanks!

like

We've decided to let our guests bring their kids to the wedding. But neither of us have ever been to a kid-friendly wedding. Any suggestions to help everyone enjoy themselves?

like

More Posts

For those starting school this year, how do you stay motivated to do the bare minimum at work when you are sooooo ready to GTFO 😐

like

Hello! My co-founder and I are looking to conduct user interviews to figure out what is needed for our AI analytics software.

AI use cases:
Deliver notifications if it detects a downtrend in your revenue or orders for next month.
Adjusts your financial forecast when it detects a profit pickup, revenue or order drops
Shows list of corrective actions to fix revenue or profit drops

Please comment if interested, it should only 30 mins. We can offer a free 3 month subscription for helping.

like

Hi fishes,
I got an offer from Cognizant and i accepted it.They asked my to provide a lot of documents and I signed(digitally) around 17 prejoin
documents.Now, I have received a better offer from EY gds. Can i accept it and tell cognizant that i wont be able to join after signing those documents?

like

I am a consulting Manager at Accenture, with over 11 months here and 14 years overall. Is it worth to join BCG as Consultant-C2. The recruitment consultant says that it has run up of 1 year to PL.

like

Hi all. Need 11 likes to unlock DM. Thanks a ton for the help.

like

Thoughts on Prime Ocean here?

Is anyone consistently investing the leveraged S&P ETFs?

like

Anyone ever work with or against handwriting expert Curt Baggett? All info welcome.

like

Does anyone who has handled SEC subpoenas have tips for creating search terms to run in a client’s email? The subpoenas are virtually unbounded and I feel like I just need to read through the entire inbox of 100k emails

like

Is Pharma decently recession proof? Currently freelance at a b2c creative shop but go an offer for an opened 6-month contract to do some Pharma work. I'm seriously thinking about it

like

In the past 6 years, I was promoted twice, from P3 to P4, then a few years later, from P4 to P5. However, I found out that my salary is still within the P3 band (actually 10k below max P3 range). This is not knowledge typically shared with employees. How can I use this knowledge to my advantage during my annual performance review in order to get a higher salary?

like

Any idea on What is the salary range for IN3 at walmart?

likehelpful

I am currently in therapy for childhood sexual abuse issues . Unfortunately, the crap that is coming up has spilled over into my professional life and my work is suffering. Met with my Director >>

like

Anyone have any feedback or review on level 2 prep providers- I learn better by watching videos than by reading.
Mark meldrum vs Princeton review vs Nathan ronen

like

Laptop recommendations for bschool?

like

I’m looking for a tool that allows me to search for text in Office Actions and responses. For example, is there a way to search for ‘written description’ or ‘improper Markush’ issued by Examiner John Smith? Does something like this exist?

like

Do you think their are recruiters who dont vent their clients and will do anything to place a candidate? I have seen this in startups but wanted to get other opinions on this matter. How can you spot this?

like

What kind of copyright work can you practice for clients outside your jurisdiction without violating ethical rules besides copyright registrations.

Currently working as Trainee in RPA domain. 2021 Electronic & Communication graduate.
Want to switch in Software development domain. What hurdles might I can get in this?
Currently tagged in project and having bond of 3 years with 2 months notice period. Bond compensation - 2.5L
YOE- 1 year

like

Another week, another notice turned in. My team is dwindling.

likefunny

Additional Posts in Working Parents in Law

Should I stay or should I go? Hoping to get some insight from those that went before me. I am a 6th year call working at a top20 firm in private M&A. Two kids and am in the position (continued below)

Some people mentioned au pairs... tell me more! Why did you like/not like it, if you did the au pair thing?

like

Biglaw parents, where do you choose to live and why? Somewhere close to work to avoid commute and spend more time with kids? Suburbs?

like

Last night my 9yo said, “wow mom, Idina Menzel is 48 but she looks way younger than you!” (I am 38.) Then I put makeup on this morning and she said, “well, you look nice but you still look worn out...

likefunny

NDAs for Nannies? I was wondering how everyone who is doing some work from home during covid handles in-house caregivers? Obviously we all take all steps to protect confidential information and realistically a caregiver isn't going to be exposed to anything we do, but does anyone require an NDA just to be on the safe side? (I dont have an in home caregiver yet, but just thinking about it.)

like

Is anyone willing to share if your firm offers egg freezing without a fertility diagnosis as a benefit? We are trying to expand our benefits and would love to be able to say that others in the industry are already doing this. Thanks!

like

My wife and I are both terrible housekeepers and our clutter is overwhelming us. We have two kids under 3 and a wonderful nanny but we need more help at home. How do we throw money at this problem? Where do we start to get ongoing professional help decluttering, organizing, cleaning, etc.? What has worked for you?

likehelpful

I’m having trouble transitioning from work to home. What do you guys do to get yourself in the “home” mind so you can be fully present for your kids? What are your transition routines?

like

I’m a 30 year old insurance litigation defense attorney pregnant for the first time. Feeling like my career is over since my entire worth appears to be dependent on my billing. Words of advice?

like

Dyslexia! After having our kindergartener son tested (privately) related to ADHD, we were told he may have dyslexia too (which would explain why he struggles so much with phonics but is amazing at sight words). He has a very high IQ. As a voracious reader, I am finding myself unexpectedly distraught that something that I have loved so much will be such a struggle for him, and worrying that it will affect his motivation and may steer him away from things he may otherwise love.
Tips/Commiseration?

like

Where would you begin w/ setting up your own solo practice? I am a military veteran and in need of some serious help (w/ starting a business that is). It is a long story, of which I might reveal more depending on the responses in the thread. Thanks in advance for entertaining such a broad question!

like

Going back to work next month. Have a full time nanny but feel like even that isnt enough. I work all sorts of timezones. Europe has my morning, Asia has my evening. Nanny 9-5? 7-3? 10-6? No clue what will work best and don’t want to be inconsistent with her. Any advice on the return?

likehelpful

Curious to know what the norm is — does your firm prorate your bonus for time that you are out on paid parental leave?

like

How do you deal with the stress of knowing that other people on your team are working weekends and you aren’t? I’m a mom with two kids so working in weekends is tough for me. Cont. in comments:

like

Sometime I feel like I'm operating at lower capacity than during the height of Covid trying to navigate billables and no childcare/remote school. Anyone else feel this way? Are we just burnt out from all the working nights and weekend in 2020/2021?

like

Fourth-year associate. I will soon be commuting to Midtown Manhattan to a firm that pays market. From a financial perspective, am I completely nuts to be driving in and parking? Between tolls and parking, it’s going to be close to $10K a year as opposed to the bus/train being between $2500-$3000 a year. Thing is, bus/rail is pretty reliable in the morning (in terms of availability of options), but if I’m working late service gets dodgy and I like the freedom of having my own vehicle (cont.)

like