{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "If your boyfriend lost a ton of weight (over 150 pounds) and became a ripped body builder in less than 8 months. Would anyone else get jellous or at least self conscious? \n\nI'm also not the most fit or athletic.... And yes he did have baratric surgery to do so. He claims he was sick and tired of being fat but it's a huge change.", "post_id": "60bf910a3ae10d0024f63170", "reply_count": 196, "vote_count": 47, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

If your boyfriend lost a ton of weight (over 150 pounds) and became a ripped body builder in less than 8 months. Would anyone else get jellous or at least self conscious? I'm also not the most fit or athletic.... And yes he did have baratric surgery to do so. He claims he was sick and tired of being fat but it's a huge change.

likeupliftingfunny
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It is very normal! People get jealous over many things, it’s human nature. Your situation is very valid, it’s a big change for both of you. He has to get comfortable in this new ‘identity’ and adjust to the world treating him better/differently bc as we all know, society has fat bias and fat shames. It is a psychological change for him and no one can predict if his personality will change, only time can tell. It’s also a psychological change for you, adjusting to his new physical looks and dealing with some insecurities. Focus on how you can be there for him, keep open communication. You can be proud of him while also managing your feelings. See if you can find a common hobbie health related. It doesn’t mean you have to lift weights, it can be a hike, walk or exploring a National park etc. Or maybe it can be healthy cooking classes or finding new healthy restaurants in dif cities. The reality is you can BOTH benefit from prioritizing your health and ensuring you don’t spend your savings on hospital bills later in life. Personally, this would motivate and inspire me to see what areas of improvement I have.

likehelpfuluplifting

Exactly it’s for both of them!

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When I met my husband (nearly 10 years ago in college), I was in the best shape of my life!! Working out every day thanks to my insanely fit, military-bound roommate. And he was attracted to that as he was in football, working out everyday. Naturally, I gained some relationship weight 🙃 and continued a life long struggle with losing it, gaining it, repeat, throughout our relationship. He NEVER made me feel bad about it and always told me I was beautiful and that he loved me. And sometimes, he even fell off the wagon a bit and gained weight but would start dieting and working out because he didn’t like that image of himself. I say all of this to say, I’m not dumb. He fell in love with me while I was fit which lets me know that he’s ATTRACTED to fitness although he won’t outright tell me or cheat on me. But there’s a possibility, if I gained an insane amount of weight or refused to do anything about it, that he could check out of the relationship (mentally or by leaving). I have noticed a direct link to how attracted he is to me when I’m working out and focused on bettering myself (not being unhealthily addicted to losing weight or obsessed with it) and how he acts when I’m sitting around doing nothing. If your guy was tired of the way he looked, his weight and decided to do something about it, those expectations may not end with himself but who he chooses to surround himself with. I don’t think he’ll cheat on you, but you may start to lose the man you once knew/loved as he continues to disassociate himself from that image of his old self (which includes you then and now) and falls in love with how his WHOLE life will look from here on out.

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I can see you’re feeling some heavy internal pressure 😂😂. It will only get worse as the lifestyle disparities become more obvious (e.g he won’t eat the same kinds of food you do and will most likely be in the company of far more attractive women than you’re used to). No one can force you to follow suit and get in shape; but speaking from an unbiased perspective, who won’t sugarcoat things like everyone else in this thread, your days are most likely numbered if you don’t. And it will be most likely due to jealousy, and less time spent together because of the lifestyle change.

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I didn’t realize that I was “out of shape.” LMFAOOO I’ll be sure to let my personal trainer know tonight.

likesmart

If he lost 150 pounds shouldn’t he have lots of lose skin?

likesmart

Maybe it’s just 200

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Awesome your boyfriend was able to make that change for his health and wants to continue! And totally understandable to feel self conscious after seeing that in your partner. I’d use that as motivation to also get more active! That would be a great thing to do together even.

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I’d be happy for him and motivated to get in shape too. Some people are tired of being overweight and unhappy. But if it was super random overnight, I’d probably wonder if there was an ulterior motive lol

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This mf said jellous

funny

The true test of a woman's loyalty is when her man has nothing. The true test of a man's loyalty is when he has everything.

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You’re jealous and feeling self-conscious instead of happy/proud of his accomplishment? Sheesh. No amount of surgery will build muscle, so he had to commit to the gym to get ripped. You made the surgery comment to diminish his achievement. Yikes. Sounds like he needs to drop some more weight out of his life lol

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Sometimes people just get tired of not liking what they see when they look at themselves. I am doing the same I'm working hard daily to improve my double c-section body and its for me not for anyone else. Perhaps you can trying joining in on the workouts and increase the time together. No on says you need to lose weight don't see it that way see it as binding time and if losing weigh happens for you too it's a bonus. Hugs

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Well that’s awesome that he’s changing to something much much better and healthier! You should be happy for him and support him. I think you should also do fitness together to spend good activity together and strengthen the relationship. It will be good for you too to tone your body and improve your physical/mental wellness! Cheer up dear and make others be jealous 😎

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Sounds like he was very unhealthy and probably had / would of had massive health problems. Maybe it is to live a better life so he doesn’t feel like garbage all the time? This is not just a little out of shape and then randomly deciding to become a body builder... it’s like a major life event.

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I wouldn’t get jealous, but it would probably motivate me to also focus on my own well being and fitness

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I would raise his compensation and continue to pimp him out as he is getting himself more marketable on YoY basis. Thx.

funny

I’ve lost about 30 pounds and my fiancé asks me if I am going to work out almost every day. Sometimes it bothers me but I think it’s his way of being supportive in my weight loss journey since I have vocalized my goals to him.

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I don’t know if someone already mentioned this but, here’s what I would be concerned with if I were you: what the weight represented for him and for you? And how it affects what a relationship/having a partner is for everyone involved? To me, being fit as in defined muscle tone is not a priority. Unless excess weight is causing other health issues than it’s just a matter of how comfortable you are in your own skin. And that definitely translates on how you react to almost everything in life including a relationship.

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I’m jealous of your BF lol, any tips?

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I would say “well, he’s clearly in the low end of his weight binge cycle.” 95% of people who diet don’t last. People telling u to diet I completely disagree. Take care of yourself and love yourself and focus on health. Weight is so not worth focusing on

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Love yourself

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Nope, I wouldn't care. It's attractive to me when a man is motivated or working hard on something they believe in. Honestly he's more afraid of probably going back to the way he was...as most times these things are mental and not physical issues. I would try to stay encouraging the motivation in the beginning is intoxicating but overtime things will change and he may struggle again. That's where you can come in and help him stay focused. If you're comfortable w. your body and confident don't worry about what he thinks. Confidence is sexy and men want confidence every single time. If you are feeling inspired by him - tell him and maybe it can be something you two do together. But don't put pressure on yourself to feel insecure or anything. Don't doubt yourself. You are worthy.

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Uh no. I’d be happy for him and will try to get a healthier lifestyle myself. He is your partner, you should want the absolute best for him.

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