If you're obliged to choose to date a divorcee or a widow/widower, which one would you choose? All things about these 2 person being equal.

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Divorcee. Widows will compare you to an idealized memory of the dead spouse rather than to someone they ended up not liking.

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You’ll never be escape to the deceased spouse.
The divorcée will not have a sanctuary to their ex in the living room.

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🫣 the mantle at the parents house

Can all things really be equal though. One's marriage ended because they couldn't work it out

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In that case, there's also additional trauma from abuse or cheating that would make it so these examples couldn't possibly be equal.

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Who will I be fixing the most and how much of their pain will be projected onto me?

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Will they project?
Speaking from experience. Mom’s a widow the last 6 years and still projects pain.
Ex was divorced with a child and woah it was like a repeat of what they said their ex did to them.

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Widower. No crazy ex.

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I don't think all things could be equal between those two options. However, I would just say in general that I wouldn't plan on dating a divorcee or someone with kids. I'm not into baggage.

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Eh, I'm happily married now, childfree, and can't imagine that ever not being the case, so I can be super selective with my imagined relationships. 😂

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Not enough info – circumstances matter. Is the divorcee because their spouse was abusive or a cheater and is the widower that designation because of cancer, AIDS, or they murdered their spouse?

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I’d date whoever has worked through their emotional pain from their marriage ending.

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