Im 23 weeks pregnant and my manager offered to purchase the team coffee. I gave her my order and she decided to add at the end "decaf". I was hot! Do you think I'm overreacting? My coworker thinks so.

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I don’t think so- I hate how once you become pregnant everyone all of the sudden thinks that your body is public property and they have a right to police it.

Who is your manager to decide that you aren’t allowed to have caffeine (especially when your doctor has okayed it). Is he/she also entitled to ordering a sugar free/skim milk drink for an overweight coworker in the interest of “looking out for them”?

So absurd.

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That's how I felt! Or if you were so concerned, you should have asked me first.

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I think so. Your manager, especially if she has kids, probably thought she was being thoughtful and helpful. Next time just say you want your daily serving of caffeine so you’d prefer not to have decaf

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This happened to me once at Starbucks and I was equally annoyed! It’s likely a harmless mistake, but understand the frustration. Don’t mess with a pregnant woman who only gets one coffee a day.

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I would assume that your manager assumed that you meant decaf, not that they were trying to police what you drink. The caffeine recommendations have changed and some doctors still promote going decaf-only, so your manager genuinely may have thought that’s what you meant. Next time I’d just be sure to specify a ‘regular americano’ or whatever you like and see what happens.

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@Pw Ok...I understand that. I personally just would ask first and not make assumptions. But with your alcohol analogy, I get your point.

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My manager was also surprised caffeine was allowed when I told him I drank tea everyday during pregnancy (and actually I had assumed no caffeine too when I first got pregnant until my doctor said a moderate amount is fine). I’d assume good intentions and her wanting to play it safe in case she heard it wrong (since if you did have a caffeine restriction, a regular drink would then be wasted). Just clarify if it happens again, maybe with a comment like “this’ll be my one serving of caffeine for today”

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I’m guessing she meant well (many doctors still tell pregnant women to only drink decaf... she probably had one of those and doesn’t realize many women do drink regular while pregnant. But if it happens again I would jump right in like “actually, not decaf on that one! Thank you!"

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I totally agree with some of the other posters. Yes I would be hot too! Mgr should have asked before assuming, and mention you don’t follow the old caffeine rules. When the coffee order comes around again - add “fully leaded” 😀 after your coffee order! No stinkin’ decaf!

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I would be annoyed and probably just tell them that caffeine is fine. Then I would let it go unless they try it again!!

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She was probably just trying to help out. Many people aren’t comfortable with caffeine during pregnancy so she probably assumed you were in that boat.

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She was probably standing in line ordering and thought, “oh crap, did she say decaf? Might as well get decaf to play it safe” Assume she meant well and not to police your body. You are overreacting

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Hmmm annoying then, but in that case, perfect time to speak up and correct her! Thought it was a situation where she didn’t get to check with you while ordering.

If there is a chance she just misunderstood your order or misheard you, then give her the benefit of doubt. But if she indeed thought "it is best for you" - I would be mad as well.

I would let it go.. she had good intentions but ya its none of her business. I would take offense if she would have ordered alcohol for me in dinner party..

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