I’m 24 and just started my career at EY as a consultant. I feel good about the salary I make, work I do, and where I’m at in my career. My personal life also has a ton of fulfillment and truly makes me so happy. That being said, I have a high school classmate and close friend who was in IB and just started his own hedge fund type of business after leaving his big bank job. I feel like I’m falling behind. He’s probably going to end up a millionaire fast. I try not to compare but can’t hell mtseld

likefunny
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You’re 24. I’m in my 40’s with young kids, aging parents, and trying to work around a pandemic with a hundred other problems right now.

What that means is, I have zero time or energy to deal with your feelings of inadequacy from your great job, great career, great salary, and your “tons of fulfillment.” I’m sorry your rich friend made you feel sad.

Good?

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Has anyone gone back and actually reread OP’s post? The crux of the whole post was my friend in IB makes me feel inadequate because they make more money than me. That was it. That was what I was responding to. This conversation has gone so far off the rails since then that I’m not even sure what I said that everyone is so offended by 🤷🏼‍♂️

When you’re 24, you’ll be chasing wealth or a job that can supply part of it. When you’re 34, you’ll be chasing more wealth, a honey, and the American dream. When you’re 44, you’ll be seeking that C-level position and how to get your kids out of trouble. When you’re 54, that perfect retirement, and getting your kids to talk to you. When you’re 64, you’ll be trying to keep your memory sharp and that agility you once had. When you’re 74, you’ll be trying not to pee your bed and wish you could walk the way you once had. By 84, you’ll be fighting aging/ dying, seeing friends around you pass... and the cycle continues.

Don’t live to work. Work to live. Find passion and fulfillment in things that don’t fade. Money, in and of itself, will never make you happy. When you leave behind this life, money won’t come with you. Put stock in people other than yourself, maybe the unfortunate who need your help the most, and doing good in this world, because that’s what will bring you joy.

Stop comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone more attractive, more successful, more rich, more brilliant. Stop being a rat in the rat wheel. Only compare yourself to who you used to be and make incremental gains. Do it for you and not for the guy next to you. Stop trying to impress others, life is simply too short.

likeupliftinghelpfulfunnysmart
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A study by Harvard Psychology proved once your salary tops $115,000 you dont get any happier.

Youre not falling behind. You’re already likely in the top 10% of wage earners in America.

And youre 24, so this is all very new, but trust me, by the time you’re 29 you wont be jealous of your rich friends, you’ll be jealous of the ones who are genuinely happy. My friends who make the most are great people, but many of them are already in therapy / divorced / have substance problems. Being a millionaire early in life won’t fix any of that.

likehelpful

Having enough in investments to pay your living expenses indefinitely > having a comfortable financial buffer > living paycheck to paycheck

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B4 will never make you rich. Even when you make partner, you are just a higher grunt to more senior partners. If you want to be on the trajectory of your friend, you need to leave ASAP.

likefunnyhelpfulsmart

Most of my peers in their early 30s do not make 6 figure salaries. I was making 6 figures in Audit by the time I was 28...

Most of 30 something's cannot afford to buy a home. I bought my 1st house with my wife at the age of 30.

Can we please stop discussing semantics here? Anyone who works in Audit at the manager and above level will live more than comfortably for the rest of their lives.

likesmart

There will always be those that do better than you. Stop tying to compare. Realistically you are probably better off than 95 percent of people your age. Just focus on you being happy.

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Harsh advice maybe but — get over yourself.

And also take a deeper look at your idea of financial freedom, what does it mean to you and what are you trying to unlock by it? What is your sense and center of purpose?

likehelpful

GD 1- agreed. Everyone’s life isn’t destined to be on the same trajectory - that’s a hard fact. Plus I would argue that there are plenty of wealthy folks who would give up their money if they could have great health. Money isn’t everything.

We all have to choose what’s right for us - because true imposter syndrome is working to appease others, rather than ourselves 😉

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Read as: “Oh no, I have everything I could ask for and am a whiny unhappy baby because others have more, even though I look around and the majority have less!!! What do I do?!” 🙄

likefunny

Unless you’re talking Tom Brady, then no.

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Sorry everyone. Think I’ve just been having a moment today. Suffering a lot of insecurity and imposter syndrome. I fear of falling behind and not making the most out myself and this life. I don’t normally get super hung up on my peers, but it just stung to think this kid was doing that. It felt like I wasn’t good enough or successful enough. Grass isn’t always greener. I know that. And I know I need to not give a f#%! But it’s not always that simple. Thanks for all the guidance and wisdom. I want to be happy doing what I do and be secure in that.

likeuplifting

Someone is always going to be more successful than you and less successful than you. Your job is to build and evaluate your world on the metrics that are the most important to you, and it sounds like you’re doing that quite well! 👍

Fwiw my tough love advice was written from a view looking out onto a marina full of yachts. Do I own a yacht? Nope. Does it make me feel like I’m not measuring up when I see them cruise out? Nope, cos those aren’t my metrics

likehelpful

25 YO here. Life is more about a long run game. One should know his road map. Born and raised in China, went through Traditional Chinese Entrance Examination (Chinese GaoKao), I believe people who are familiar with that will understand the 12 years stressed education. You are always competing with your classmates. 1 score makes thousands of ranking difference. I was never the number 1 since admitted to a key High School. Especially after going to a key College, I’m more in the middle. I did masters degree in the US, and I saw even more brilliant ppl that I am far behind. But one thing is that I never compare myself with others, and I keep moving on, learning, and thriving. I keep on learning how to be a good person. Make those who are stronger than me be my friends. Occasionally, when I look back, now I’m making more money with a more promising career than the No.1 in my undergraduate class. I’m the only one now working aboard in my high school class. I got a job in the US right before pandemic but some 4.0 GPA kids didn’t. Life is really all about heading to where you want to go. Make those better than you be your resource. Fulfillment is from all perspectives of life. Btw, I really like EY Advisory but didn’t get in. At least on this point, you are luckier than me 😊 cheer up

likeupliftingsmart

When I was in high school, one of my computer nerd friends was a kid named Tony Fadell. He tried to get me to move out West to work with him after college but I wanted to stay on the East Coast. Tony is best known as the inventor of the iPod, the co-inventor of the iPhone, and the founder of Nest Labs. We’re still good friends, and laugh about it sometimes. Well, he laughs....

likefunnyhelpful

My dad worked in the same building as a guy looking for investors. He said he was not interested. The guy in his building was warren buffet.

like

First thing leave EY and join a real firm like PwC. They are better at all things and believe in an inclusive staff.

funnylikehelpful

I know and I’m really trying to. But it’s just, how do I get access to that finical freedom? It makes me feel like I don’t contribute anything to myself. Idk. It’s easy to say don’t compare be happy when everyone is comparing constantly

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Coaching! Want to grow your income? Grow yourself. Want to grow your career and portfolio? Invest and grow yourself. Getting a coach/Mentor (and PAYING good money for it) will make all the different. Every person I know doing that much better... hit a plateau unless they invest in developing themselves !! :) Keet at it bro. If you can see it and imagine it in your mind - the life, the money, the success you want - you CAN get it. But everyone needs mentorship and coaching.

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Totally agree with EY1. Focus on your own happiness, and don't compare yourselves to others this way. Someone will always seem to be doing better than you. Just keep focusing on building your financial freedom and keep prioritizing your happiness. It means so much to your long term well-being

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Hope he didn’t short $GME. 🚀🚀🚀

likefunny

💪😎

like

Im also 24 and constantly worry about getting ahead and financially free so similar mindset and position as you.

I think the problem now is all we see are the 1% success stories of people our age who are super ahead and gloss over the fact we’re already in a great position over most people.

I’d advise taking a step back and try to add that into perspective. We may not be on that exponential fast track, but incremental growth compounded is incredibly powerful, just not as exhilarating. Personally I still feel the stress, but this way of thinking helps temper me from spiralling.

likesmart

I agree that he seemingly needs help but very sad that people want to attack him.

like

Just ask him how he did it.

likehelpful

How’d he get his hedgefund clients?

likesmarthelpful

When I was younger I used to worry so much about climbing the ladder and getting ahead. What I found that (at least for me) the stress was not worth it and also I was working in an area I didn't really enjoy which compounded the stress and made work harder for me.

I'm now working in an area I love and it feels easy to me (more aligned with my abilities and interests so even the challenges are fun) and I have decent work life balance with decent pay. Granted I'm not getting super rich on this salary but we are comfortable enough and I am not having a nervous breakdown and hating my life.

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Man, I’m not even in the 6 figure range and I’m just happy I have a stable income right now and get to come home and hang out with my husband after work. It’s the simple things in life.

likehelpful

Money = / = happiness, especially once you get over six figures.

likesmartfunny

Comparison is the thief of joy - Teddy Roosevelt.

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