{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’m 25/F, recently came out to my mother as gay and she was not receptive. I decided to send a message to my father and sisters to tell them next, and got crickets. I have a wonderful girlfriend and was so excited to share it with them, and it hurts to not have their support. I feel lucky that I have wonderful friends who do support me though. Anyone have any advice for how I’m feeling now? 🥺♥️ At the very least, I’m proud of myself for coming out and being me. Just lonelier than I imagined.", "post_id": "612ae729410003002b477dd8", "reply_count": 24, "vote_count": 23, "bowl_id": "58f80c96ae9f610010f866a8", "bowl_name": "LGBT 🐠", "feed_type": "bowl" }
null

I’m 25/F, recently came out to my mother as gay and she was not receptive. I decided to send a message to my father and sisters to tell them next, and got crickets. I have a wonderful girlfriend and was so excited to share it with them, and it hurts to not have their support. I feel lucky that I have wonderful friends who do support me though. Anyone have any advice for how I’m feeling now? 🥺♥️ At the very least, I’m proud of myself for coming out and being me. Just lonelier than I imagined.

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I hesitate to give advice as I am still in the closet, but 25/F here and I am so proud of you! Sending all the love your way!!

likeuplifting

Your support is just as valid, and meaningful, thank you 🥰

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Hey OP, sorry to hear. It’s tough. I thought my parents would have no problems either because they are super liberal but they had a hard time digesting it too. I think it has more to do with the fact that they need to rethink the life they had envisioned for me...what worked was bringing my girlfriend around a lot. They could see she made me super happy and could see how great of a person she is.

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No. It was organic. It was just obvious what I was up to and the guys I was dating but never an issue. They’re also not super religious. Some conservative Republicans care about a lot more than religion. They’re more libertarians that caucus with republicans. So there is a difference there.

Well, you already made the decision to come out—good on you for that. Personally, I did it more organically. I just brought my boyfriend around, and let them figure it out for themselves. I suppose I never had a desire to “come out.” I simply did what I did. I was actually outed by a fraternity brother of mine (was and is straight) who told me to just admit it. Odd way to come out, but he’s a great friend to this day. As are a lot of my brothers from college. And my family never really cared. I was in my own prison, to be frank. This was years ago, however.

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That sounds like a better way! Unfortunately I don’t live near my family; I told my mom in person when she happened to be visiting me and the reaction was volatile and she left early. Wish there was a do-over option 😂♥️ Thank you for your support!

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I know how you are feeling. Chances are they will accept it at some point, they just need time. If there is someone that can help them in the path (eg. an “enlighted” uncle or something) maybe this could seed up the process. Of course it depends on many factors, like if they are very religious or conservative or everything else that could get in the way of their acceptance.
However it will be in the future, just stick to the good things right now - girlfriend and supportive friends. Make clear to your family that if they want to have you (at dinner, on vacation with them, or simply catch/up phone calls) you are bot comfortable if they don’t want the full package.

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It will get better :)

my dad was crying when my mum told him. I kept on bringing my boyfriends over 7-8 years and he was kinda uncomfortable about it. with my current one he suddenly opened up, loves him and actively asks for him to visit the family.

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Thank you so much. I think it is their apathy that hurts more than any discomfort. At least when someone is uncomfortable, there is the opportunity to comfort them or get them to a more comfortable place over time :) Stories like yours make me smile

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No advice just want to say I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. But it’s their problem and they need to figure it out. You are so right to be who you are and to be proud.

likeuplifting

I think it takes time. It took me/us a while to realize we are gay and figure out what it means.

I guess give ur family some time to process it.

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Sending you lots of love ❤️. Moments like this are when your chosen family fills what your blood family can’t

likeuplifting

Thank you all 🥺♥️

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Definitely tough! I went through a similar situation in my 20s. It took awhile (years….) but now my family is super supportive and a big part of our lives. Hang in there! Time really does help

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Sending you a big hug! 🤗

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This too shall pass. :)

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Agree! OP you do you and be you.

I’m no expert (27/F Demi), for my parents it’s a generational thing they had straight and the people who weren’t out but everyone knew they were LGBTQA+ so they don’t understand that I have to like a person to be attracted to them regardless of gender so it’s something we don’t often discuss. But I discuss it all the time with my best friend who is as close to family as it gets. The most important thing is - you’re not hiding a vital part of your self anymore, you do have a support system who can in a way be your chosen family. Fingers crossed your parents and siblings will come around and realise that just because you love someone of your own gender that doesn’t make you any different from the child they brought up or the sibling they grew up with. If they can’t understand that then I’d say it’s their loss because they probably can’t see the amazing person they’ll be losing in their lives.

Anyway long story long, we’re here for you albeit anonymously if you ever need to chat or boost your morale. 💜

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27M here // Congrats! Sorry you weren’t received exactly how you’d have liked. Similar vibes here. I came out to my parents a few years ago as bi (and only really have told them, my sister, and close friends I want to know - have never had a big coming out event). They acknowledged it, but have never brought it back up (assume because they figured, just a phase, and he’ll end up with a girl).

Recently been seeing a guy (for about a year now), so I told them I had someone special in my life. They still don’t really acknowledge or ask about it. Maybe it’s on me to normalize and bring it up more, but I don’t want to HAVE to bring it up. Wondering if I’ll get to a point where we do discuss things, but in the meantime, I’m just going day by day.

Enjoy your relationship, surround yourself with those that welcome and accept you in open arms, and sending all the good vibes your way. :)

Focus on those who support you right now. Your family’s poor reception is not a reflection on you and, while I’m sure it hurts, there’s nothing you can do about it. If they have a problem with you, it’s their problem. Do your best to live your life authentically

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