I’m 26F. I feel like I did most things right with finances (no debt, lived with parents for a few years to have savings, worked since I was a teen, etc). But I can’t help comparing myself to other people around my age. Like how do some people afford a big house in a nice suburb, wedding, and get pregnant all by 25/26/27?? Am I missing something? Lol.

likesmart
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Their parents definitely financed some of that. Also dual incomes must be nice.

likesmart

Comparison is the thief of joy, you’re crushing it, don’t worry about others!

likeupliftinghelpful

Personally speaking, a trust fund.

likefunny

A lot of people take out more debt than they should for the appearance of success

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This

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Parents. It took me until the ripe old age of now to realize that almost all my friends get help from parents 🤣🤣 it’s amazing how much disposable income you can have with no student debt and no expectation to save for down payment or big expenses.

It became painfully obvious when the business school, wedding and house-buying trifecta occurred within a 3 year period and I was like “um how is everyone I know shelling out like half a mill for this crap?!?”

My partner and I both have high paying jobs but do not have the cushion or head start from our parents - we have 6-figure student loans and have to save up a 6-figure down payment on our own.

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That always baffles me too, I’m 30 and nowhere near buying a house, the last one of all my friends that doesn’t have a house. I don’t give a shit, I like living in the city and have a savings plan for the house I’m sticking to. Fuck those other people, you do you!

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Agree with the other people here. Anyone who can do those things by that age have family money to support them in some way, probably coupled with a high paying job out of school. They live outside the standard deviation though.

You are clearly doing things right, and to be honest you are setting yourself up with great financial discipline, which is what separates normal wealthy people (not hella rich) from the middle class.

Try not to let yourself be consumed with all of the comparisons. Appreciate yourself and the hard work you are doing. Be proud of yourself and of them. You can be happy for them without putting yourself down.

likeuplifting

Yeah I have most of what you listed above - my partner and I both have very well paying jobs, neither of us has to pay for college, and my parents gave us $$ for the down payment of our house. His parents will more likely than not also help us with incoming wedding expenses. We're not working harder to get the nice things, we're just spoiled stupid and crazy lucky

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It's got to be parent's money. I'm 27, graduated without debt, make $140k and have for the last few years. I'm very careful with my money and save a lot. I still wonder how I'm going to afford the things in your list. You're not alone. Okay I could def afford a fancy wedding m, but plus house and plus kids?? Forget it.

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On top of what everyone else already said, lots of people are heavily in debt between mortgage, car, and credit cards. My wife’s coworker and her husband bought this awesome boat because they’ve always grown up on boats and wanted it and also went on all of these fancy vacations. Then during the pandemic when they couldn’t travel her coworker is telling her how they’re almost out of credit card debt because they can’t spend their money and how embarrassing it was that 2020 is what it took for them to get their finances in better shape.

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Parents and/or family funded. More people than you think get help, at least from what I’ve heard

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Getting pregnant is not that expensive and you do not need your parents to help you with it.

funny

I think it depends how you define big house and wedding. I’m 25 and plan on buying a $400-$500k house next year (so super small budget for CA standards but bigger for other markets), am getting married next year (probably spending around $45k total) but that includes the entire wedding, honeymoon and ring, and plan on getting pregnant following year when I’m 26. My parents didn’t help me with college or my wedding costs I’m currently paying for and I don’t have a trust fund or anything like that (no debt either), HOWEVER, I was able to do all this due to the following:
- I chose an inexpensive college in my state but still 7 hours away from home and worked the entire time (2 jobs) to be able to graduate with no debt
- Once I graduated, I started working for PwC right away
- I have the same car I bought in college in cash (used car so slightly under $10k)
- I’m very frugal and don’t spend money on makeup or nails, I go to great clips for a hair cut, don’t drink coffee or anything so basically besides the occasional eating out and shopping, I don’t spend a lot
- Most significant reason is I have been able to live at my parents rent free since graduating and will continue to do so until I’m married

My fiancé is in the military so doesn’t make a whole lot right not but it helps that he also is frugal and enjoys saving money like myself, so he was able to save a little bit and I’ve been able to save the majority since I don’t have many expenses beyond car insurance, gas etc (we combined maybe have a little over $100k saved right now but can save about $3k - $4k a month and both invest in the stock market so have saved more due to that). Also, his income in addition to mine will allow us to afford the house. Without the generosity of my parents though letting me live at home, I definitely wouldn’t be anywhere close to where I am now.

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