I’m 28 and recently got engaged to the love of my life. My question for you more senior folks who are married/kids is how do y’all balance the demanding consulting travel with wifey? I love my job.

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Set boundaries with work so that when you are home, you are fully present at home. And manage a shared schedule so that you know key times when you have to be home. It will work out fine, remember to always communicate and tell her you love her every night before you go to bed specially if you’re on the road.

likefunny

More so: I’ve been traveling every week for the last 9 months for a couple different engagements. I fly her out and take her on vacations. It’s just different for her when I’m not physically there! Would love some tips!

like

Congrats on the engagement! My husband and I really make our weekends worth it with short trips and quality time together. We get the work done during the week so we can give our time to each other when we are together. We are also good about communicating while on the road but we were long distance for like 5 years so this life is second nature to us. Just be open about what you need to feel close, ask your partner what they need in return, and put in the extra effort when things get hard. Its challenging to be away so much, but I always keep in mind that absence makes the heart grow fonder!

like

Enter the relationship with open eyes. The travel is not going to change, so don’t feign any expectations that it’s going to get better. As long as she recognizes that you are not going to be there during the week, everything else is workable (eg outsource cleaning services, childcare / nanny if she works, grocery delivery, etc.)

like

Be present when you are home out of work hours, means no work, no phone calls. Make plans you two can look forward to together, whether it’s night outs or vacations your planning. Call every night, and text during the day at breaks to let her know you’re thinking of her.

Most important, have a wife that understands you travel for work and is ok with it (given you do things like I mentioned above)

like

I was just straight up with my leadership and said I wanted local projects. Sure I'll fly for a day or two if absolutely necessary, but otherwise I'm home 300-330 days of the year.

If being closer to your family is a priority, and being local is an ingredient for that to be true... Talk to your leadership. If they give you trouble look for a referral on fishbowl to a firm that offers better WLB and supports local staffing (e.g. Bain, slalom, acn)

like

I’m sorry to say this, and I don’t know you of course, but statistically speaking, you may want to consider a career shift. Consulting is hard on marriages for reasons too many to list. But the least obvious one is that the spouse left at home learns to live her life without you. Think about it. Why wouldn’t she. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, it’s just a real world behavior that can’t be avoided. It makes it much easier to then drift apart, or at least not to grow intertwined together.

like

I have found that traveling and having time apart has actually made my relationship stronger! I have time to invest in my own interests, get my work done and feel a healthy independence from my husband. That doesn’t mean I learn to live without him entirely, but that we are different people who enjoy different things as well as our time together. Obviously everyone is different but I think that being independent enough to exist without each other, but choosing to exist together, is a healthy balance for us!

like

I think both of you have to compromise. Fully recognizing that you may love the work you, the travel that is involved, and the experience you’re getting...wifey may accept all of this and that’s great. But you in return should ensure that whatever time you have with her is just that...with her. Grind away during the work week, but when Friday/the weekend rolls around, your attention is on her and not your computer or phone. Many couples find sustainability in all of this, you make it what you both want.

like

Sometimes people forget this simple fact: when you are at work (in a client meeting or proposal, etc) you compartment yourself away from your family. Ruthlessly compartmentalize in reverse when you are with your family.

Consulting can be a grind but make sure you put as much work into your “engagement” (meaning your future wife) because just like clients, if you don’t continually win her heart, you risk losing the relationship.

She will see that the career means a lot to you and will be able to tell if you aren’t happy, often before you do so listen to her.

like

Get a girlfriend- that helps

like

Which one do you love more

Honestly I left the traveling behind and found something that was local that I was also passionate about. For me, traveling wasn't the part that gave me the most fulfillment it was the actual nature of the work.

When I was traveling we made sure to take advantage of the status and benefits and I tried not to work on weekends and nights but it's hard no matter what.

Try to outsource some tasks so that you can really enjoy your weekends together. One of the first thing I did when I started travelling was hire a cleaning lady so that we wouldn't need to spend time cleaning the house on the weekend.

The key is communication and making sure that you're both OK with this arrangement. Now, kids is where it starts becoming hard, especially if you're two professionals... I got off the road after my son was born, and have no regrets, even if career progression may be a bit slowed down.

manage the imbalance

Related Posts

Pretty sure i had delta variant 2 weeks ago. Is it still possible to get omicron variant if I’m boosted & have antibodies from a different strain? anyone positive with covid now who had delta variant recently?

likesmart

Hey I'm a purple belt in the NJ area (although I'm 100% nogi now)

Manage to make this hobby work with consulting through low travel and morning training. Hope to do it as long as possible. 34 now but maybe I'll go on the trt juice later lol

like

For those who already have a baby - I (36f) just had a baby 6 weeks ago, and my wife (33F) is now back at work (WFH) and I’m still on leave. Since I have the baby all day and get up with her all night, my wife basically “takes over” baby duty when she stops working. The problem is that within an HOUR she has lost all patience with the baby. She gets frustrated so quickly if the baby is crying and will say things like “I’m just going to let her cry since nothing im doing helps” (cont)

like

I have PCOS, so getting pregnant has not been straightforward. We are about 6 months into trying and I am on some drugs to help. My husband basically blames me for not being pregnant yet and routinely says I am a ‘mess’ for not understanding my cycle, even though I am going by what the doctors tell me. I haven’t been stressed by having PCOS, but his constant remarks are really getting to me

like

Are there non-FAANG companies with comparable compensation & WLB? It seems impossible to break into FAANG.

likefunny

what do you talk about in your 1:1s?

I got lucky and now have leadership that seems to care about my career growth, but I'm 1. a little overwhelmed taking over a new role from someone who went on parental leave earlier than expected and 2. not used to thinking outside my day to day job, happy to keep my head down and just produce good work.

most of what I bring up in these meetings are logistical or prioritization concerns but I feel like my manager is expecting a lot more from me.

like

Has anyone claimed relocation in JPMC Pune?
What kind of hotel do they provide for stay and for how many days?

Have a primary home and a vacation home. We go to vacation home for holidays as family is near by but it is a 2 day drive to get there or a plane ride. With our pups driving has become more of the norm. We do not rent when we are not there. Thinking of buying third home about 4 hours from primary home on the coast for enjoyment. I worry about juggling 3 homes. Anyone with experience with this? Advice?

likehelpful

Travel dinners: lobster appetizer,filet mignon, Parmesan roasted broccoli, honey seared carrots, and Pinot noir with some IPA's after for good measure. Dinner when home: hot pocket and campbell's soup

like

Hi! i’m in the united states looking to move to singapore in the near future. any one here who has done something similar, willing to answer a few questions/ offer advice? thank you in advance!

I’ve got a manager who runs a tight ship: 12 hour days (not busy szn) regularly, no sick days, no company-sponsored events, etc. Mgr makes it miserable. How would you deal with this?

like

Hi fishies! Considering an internal big 4 move from Western Europe to Dubai. Not sure about WLB and whether there’ll be enough growth and learning opportunities after reading some of the threads here. Anyone up for sharing their experience? Especially concerned about sexism / racism as a WOC…and whether moving back to Europe in a few years will be difficult because the ME experience won’t be considered valuable.

like

Is IB worth the sacrifice of WLB? Obvious pay is really good but are the prestige and pay worth it if you’re planning on only doing it for a couple years?

Currently working at an IRA with great WLB. Honestly I love my job, the firm, and people I work with.

Also doing MBA part time at a T15 school. Thinking about switching to IB but I’ve done my research and I think I would burn out of IB in two years but I might be ok with that for the opportunities after.

like

McKinsey fish: any cool perks of note that make it stand out? Have a final round interview coming up and wondering if there are any that are better than Accenture (travel benefits, etc)

like

Rakuten symphony any one working here as Product Manager for more than a year share your experience please About culture wlb l&d etc Tata Communications Zeta suite Ericsson Airtel BT eServe India Private Limited

like

Looking to move from consulting to chill DS/analytics role. Don’t care too much about TC ($150k is fine), but WLB is paramount for me. Anyone have any thoughts as to where I can get this?

like

Looking for a new head phones/ earphone for running/work/travel.... any suggestions?

like

I have an offer for a ML Engineer Consultant position from Accenture in Applied Intelligence, and I had a few questions I’m still struggling with. Could anyone speak on their experience(s) regarding WLB and travel for technical work at Accenture?

like

More Posts

Hi,

I received my Relieving letter today. That means all my Exit checklists are closed?
When I will receive my final settlement?

like

Happy 4th! Who's up and partying

I was just offered a CUNY role. The title is Higher Education Assistant. According to Glassdoor, the average annual pay for that role is $83,418. However, I was offered $62,500. I requested for the minimum annual salary to be 75k. Does anyone have experience navigating the CUNY system and their pay?

like

Just found out about this bowl! Male, NY

like
like

I loathe my mother in law

likefunny

Hi everyone. Which companies work in iot domain? I am a full stack web developer from past 2 years and have azure edge, azure iot hub, azure containers, docker experience as well. Would love to move into a core iot company. Any suggestions.

Total exp 6 yrs.

like

How bad does moving from one firm to another before a year look in your resume? I am discussing a good opportunity at another big 4 but have been at D less than a year

like

Hi,

I am a B.Tech Graduate from Delhi Technological University passout in 2018 batch, I am working at ResolveSoft Inc. as a Business Analyst and it's my first job. It's been 6 months of me working with the firm, I looking for switching to some better opportunities can someone help me with the referrals.
My present CTC is 5.5 LPA.

like

I wish I was overemployed. Searching for gigs, but nothing yet. Any tips on how to get one or more extra jobs?

The new benchmark for software enterprise AE offers seems like $330-340 OTE. does this match what others are seeing?

like

Had a recruiter reach out to me on LinkedIn about a Business Development role with GrowthPlug (tech sales). Meeting tomorrow for an informational interview. I’ve never done this before so does anyone have any advice for how to prepare and what sort of questions to ask/expect to be asked? Any tips are welcome. Thanks!

What are the band levels in CBRE

Does Cognizant HR revise offer letter once we accept it? Tata Consultancy Wipro Accenture Capgemini Cognizant Deloitte USI Infosys

like

I’m seriously considering naming my kids EBITDA and Leverage.

likefunny

HSBC Results are out HSBC’s pre-tax profits almost doubled to $2.7bn in the final quarter of 2021 as the UK lender’s commercial banking revenues were buoyed by growth in credit and lending. The London-based bank said in an earnings statement on Tuesday that full-year pre-tax profits increased 115 per cent to $18.9bn, just missing forecasts of $19.1bn. Reflection of these results on employees : Single digit hikes even for top performers. Same scene continues from past 3 years now. HSBC

I have a strong SQL + BI skill set and have experience managing a ~5 person growth + product team at an F50 company. I want to lead a data analytics team, min TC 200k. What titles and/ or companies should I look at?

like

How do you differentiate imposter syndrome and actually being in over your head? I meet the requirements for the job I applied for… but the responsibilities seem daunting/slightly overwhelming.

like

I’m currently working with a senior level HR candidate. This individual has a doctorate in business with a focus in HR, her SPHR, Federal, and private sector experience at the singer level, and has a fabulous personality. I’m curious is anyone else having difficulties play some candidates like this? At this point I’m starting to think it’s racial or her sex based of the lack of interest in this candidate. Any thoughts?

like

I miscarried my twins at 19 weeks. It has been 6 weeks and I am still bleeding. This was my first pregnancy so it’s all new to me. My doctors can’t seem to understand why I’m still bleeding but (cont)

like

Additional Posts in Consulting

Carol Baskin, amarite!?

like

Anyone know of any cheap online bank that has no or low fees? I need a business bank account for my LLC that has no money. I’ll probably seed the account with between $500 to $1000, but that’s it. Most banks will charge me a $15 a month if the balance is less than $5000.

like

Fishbowl community, you complete me ❤️

like

Hours real talk. I've always been very "bill what I work" so that means light weeks I'm destroying my own utilization/billing initiatives instead. Meanwhile peers bill 40-45 regardless. Am I an idiot?

like

Anyone else press and hold the laughing reaction a few seconds longer to see the little guy laughing some more. It’s the little things in life sometimes.

funnylikeuplifting

How has Covid impacted your fringe benefits? Travel perks (miles, points, per diem, meals, client events, etc.) we’re a major selling point in joining my firm. Our travel has been all but slashed, but I’m not seeing any consolidations to make up for these lost benefits.

like

Is a Principal is BCG same as an Engagement Manager at McKinsey?

likehelpful

has anyone extended a future leave to a personal leave before at acn?

like

How do referrals work at McKinsey Digital? I want to prepare my friend the best I can before they refer me. Should I ask my friend to call out specific examples in my experience that would make me memorable to the hiring manager? How successful are referrals at McKinsey Digital? I'm on the data science side of things at KPMG. Would love and appreciate any advice. TIA!

like

Wonder what the new name will be for Facebook. Might not be able to call the FAANG anymore, might end up being BAANG....

funnylike
like

How does splitting bonuses with a refer-ee work? I see that on here a bunch but how does that work logistically with taxes and income reporting and etc?

like

Does anyone know what brand of pillows Sheraton use?? I want me some of that!

like

Feeling reaaalllyy realllyyy sleepy at client site..

likeuplifting

Are any top consulting firms hiring for experienced analysts currently? I know ACN and some others are cyclical for resources 2-3 years out of college, but I’m looking to make a move sooner than fall

like

Best protein powder?

like

To calculate percentages mentally, sometimes it is easier to change the order of the factors:
8% of 25???
25% of 8 = 2 🤯

likehelpfulsmart

Anyone from Accenture recruiting in the Salesforce practice?

like

Has anyone gotten their covid booster that’s not in one of the high risk groups? I’m starting to hear of a few people here and there who have or have it scheduled and just wondering if this is becoming common.

like

Does anyone know if Harbor Point in Stamford CT is a safe and nice neighborhood? I read somewhere that it used to be sketchy but the apartments look amazing and they’re pricy.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal