I’m 32 and decided that I would like to have a baby even though I’m unattached. I only have about $30k in liquid assets though. I have a good job but I’m worried I don’t have enough savings...(cont’d)

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What’s your motivation for having a child and being a single parent when you’re worried about finances? Seems like a stressful situation.

likesmart

Congratulations! Figure you need $2800 for daycare (if you live in a major city and don’t have help from family) and an additional $200-$300 for misc. expenses throughout the month. See what the difference for a healthcare plan is and consider long term costs (food, babysitting, extra curricular activities, etc.) I personally think if you want children it’s good to have them before 35. My sister had a miscarriage nearly 2 years ago at 35 and has been struggling with infertility ever since. Obviously it’s always good to have more saved, but if feels like there is never a good time to have kids. Last consideration for you is understanding how your lifestyle will drastically change. Make sure you have the support you need as a single parent. Good luck!

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Plenty of people have kids with far less in assets. But I agree with SM that it sounds like you should really think about why you want a child, particularly if you're worried about money.

likesmart

If you’re worried about not having a long term partner and your age, perhaps you could consider freezing eggs until you meet one or are in a better financial situation ?

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Just did egg freezing, and it costs about 15K

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With insurance ?

I think people are being a bit too judgy here. Would it be easier to do if you were an heiress with limitless funds? Sure!!! But many single parents (by choice or otherwise) do it with way less and see it as enormously rewarding/best thing in their lives. While I think it is helpful to understand 32 as young in the scheme of things, I do not think it is too young to make this choice. If having a child is really important to you, sooner is probably better anyways. I think understanding your plan for childcare and support is the best thing to plan, but if this is what you want I think you are plenty old enough to make this choice.

likesmart

I think it’s really important to note that a lot of people are projecting their own situations onto OP. I am confident that she has considered the important intangible and tangible things already, and has ultimately decided that this is what she wants. Being a smart cookie, she’s asking for advice from other people that are more informed about the experience of being a parent that she does not have. We know too little about her assets outside of the 30K in cash. OP, I believe in you!

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You’re 32. Are you trying to keep up with your friends who are having kids? You’re so young. Being a single mom is not easy, and I’m one. If i had the choice, I’d much rather have a supportive SO by my side doing this.

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If you are absolutely sure you want to have a child, prepare for it. Start saving money now, move to a group where WLB is not looked down upon, build your network both inside and outside of work, have friends with kids who can give a hand when needed, talk to family to get their support, etc. You can do it! You have to be absolutely sure this is what you want!!

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I know someone who just did this at 32 and they’re a really low paid teacher... anyone can make it work if they really want it. The questions for me would be, what sort of support systems do you have in place and what are you willing to sacrifice for this? Frankly for me, at 32 it’s way too early to pull the trigger on something as extreme as voluntarily becoming a single parent. Why now?

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Not trying to be a Debbie Downer but let me give a reality check. I have embryos but lost my husband unexpectedly. Have had to start meds for depression and am wrestling with whether or not I should a) do this on my own or b) deprive my in laws of their grandchild. Here is my answer. If you want to have a child, do it. We always find a way to make it work. OP, I would let u move in for free and we can split the au pair salary. She will use my car because I am gone SundaynthruThurs. But I only work travel 50 % and when my company is going full steam, I am going to hire women like me and only allow 30 hr work week. Boom goes the dynamite 🧨

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Rock it ATR. That sounds tough but sounds like you’re going full steam. Let me know when you’re hiring those mamas ;)

uplifting

If this was a business case I would say high risk from a financial standpoint, high costs, highly difficult to implement, (high intangible benefits, obviously). If you’re worried about your financial situation you should not be having a child - especially without a second parent in the picture you’ll be 100% financially responsible for 18 years.

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I agree with all of the above. But what about time? As a manager in the consulting industry how will you manage travel with the new baby? For the short term you can take local projects sure. But for atleast the next 15 years you'll need to drop and pick up from school and handle every other need. Nannies are expensive. Do you have family around? Good luck OP!! Wish you the best.

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Good question! We have strong relationships locally so I plan to work on local projects.

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...to support a child. Any thoughts or advice?

I think the biggest thing is the support system you have around you and it sounds like you have a pretty solid one. Next consideration is balancing not just the savings but also how you feel like childcare and expenses can fit into your monthly budget - will your savings just be needed for up front costs or will the monthly costs be uncovered? There is nothing wrong with deciding to be a single parent, but there's a lot to think through (I'm thinking through similar things right now). good luck!

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