I’m 33 and recently joined a company at 200 k salary, 25% LTI and 50 k RSU. Initially, I was very happy abt it as I had received a pretty big jump from my previous base pay. Having said that, all the excitement has vanished now. It just feels like this pay is not good enough to get the big $1 m house I want, raise 2 kids etc. I’m the bread winner for my fam. I don’t want to sound ungrateful but the comp package is just not making me happy anymore…

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Are you in Cali? If so, it’s easy to feel this way since most people you come across are working at big tech companies with fat salary comps.. go to a LCOL state and you will be much happier and your money will travel far..

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I’m also the primary earner in my household with many of the same aspirations, cost of living concerns as you. I’m a little older, make a little more money and am in a great place now. My advice:

1) Make a plan for the next 1,3,5 years. Where do you want to be professionally? What are you doing now to support it? Complaining will get you nowhere.
2) Ask for raises at least annually and be prepared with data to back it up.
3) Start saving now—don’t be discouraged.

Also, you need to learn to be happy. Material goods alone won’t get you there. Delaying children may also help you to have the financial/professional space to continue to support your goals—no need to rush that.

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Thank u for your advice. Love it!

likehelpful
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Your very own post about “not to sound ungrateful about $200k+ package” depresses me!

likefunny

It’s natural as humans to compare. But honestly what I’ve learned in my 43 years alive is that as a society we are valuing the wrong things. After a certain level of comfort is reached, money will not buy you happiness. Buying more stuff will not make you happy. We earn more to buy stuff we don’t want or need just so we look good to people we don’t care about. And then we are trapped in “golden handcuffs.” Couple of suggestions - there’s a free course on coursera called “the science of well-being” taught by dr Laurie santos. Was the most popular class at Yale and turned into a free coursera course. I watched it during covid and highly recommend. Also jay shettys book “think like a monk.” Practice gratitude for what you have in life bc the vast majority of ppl out there have far less than you. If it all goes away tomorrow, you don’t want your self worth to be based on how much money or stuff you have or don’t have. Good luck.

likesmart

tell ur spouse to get a job this ain’t the 50’s with 1 worker

likehelpful

A comp package was never intended to make you happy. The love of money will never make you happy.

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It's the hedonic treadmill. Getting a salary bump feels good for a while, until it becomes the new normal, and the new car smell wears off.

If you weren't happy making 100k, it's unlikely that you're going to be happy making 200k. If you're not happy at this point, it's not a problem that can be solved by money. You've got more than enough money to live comfortably. You have a family; spend time making memories with them.

Coming in this bowl can seem discouraging, but it's important to realize that you're not getting a random sample here. It's self-selected, and the people who self-select to share their salary often do so because it's above average. If you're making less than average, you generally don't want to tell the world about it, and feel intimidated by those who make more.

I make 78k with 5 YOE in a small city, relatively LCOL. I have a wife and 3 kids and am the sole breadwinner, but the house is paid off, I have no debts, and save almost 50% of what I make. Do I want to make more? Sure, but it's not my primary focus in life.

Don't let a comparison with others stop you from enjoying what you have.

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Really really appreciate your advice !!

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More than anything, it’s seeing everyone’s comp on this group. How do you really make $300k+ even before u hit 30.. all this is depressing me

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I was making $300k by 30 by working in data science as a a manger, could have been making $400k plus by 30 if I had switched to tech. By 30 I was also making $200k plus on the side from my rentals. It all depends on how your position yourself. I was making big career moves every 1-2 years to get a 30% hike each time or more in order to get there.

likehelpful

Quit keeping up with the Joneses.

You never will.

I don’t say that to discourage you from striving or to say nobody can strike it rich… they can; you should. But it shouldn’t be a determinant of your happiness.

If you need to compare, you’re doing well over the median right now. I’m aiming to be about 50k over where you’re at at your age in base pay. Who knows if I’ll hit it 🤷 The salary doesn’t matter so much as what it buys.

I could keep my salary now, learn Spanish, live like a king in Ecuador — we all make choices in life, including ones we don’t.

Decide what you need to be happy objectively and chase that. Don’t be this guy:

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I understand how you feel. I was making 300k by 30 myself and my coworkers were making the same and houses which were $500k 2-3 years ago are all $1m plus so it is significantly harder to afford the same type of home now in a professional neighborhood. Private school here is often $40k per child and so many of my coworkers are paying around $100k a year just for that. Money isn’t like before. I currently am 31 making around 400k but I will switch to tech next year when things are more stable for $500-600k since that is what I need to make to reasonably afford a $10k a month mortgage and $100k a year for private school when we are ready for kids also. It may seem crazy to some but like you cannot really live well in your area unless you’re at the top 10% income bracket for your area. Where I am the top 10% income is $900k so that means that 1/10 people can do it so I should reasonable be able to make that type of money also before I have kids. This isn’t about chasing the Jones’s but rather being able to live a respectable life while saving and investing for our and our children’s future.

likesmart

This is a home near me recently posted. It is a wonderful home and it was built in 98 and sold in 2003 for $350k now they want $1.125m. This is in the school district I really like for when I’m ready for children but this price increase is too much haha I have kept a look out in this area and in some others but in this school district they usually sell the .25-.4acre lots for $400k alone and starter homes around $700k starting lol it is just unreasonable for anybody. The top 10% income for this area is $900k and I don’t even know what the top 1% income even is there 😂

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/507-Lochaven-Rd-Waxhaw-NC-28173/51464374_zpid/

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Ok so go get a bigger package somewhere else then?

likefunny

I healthy person wants a thousand things. A dying person wants only one.

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Work for a year or so and then look for the next gig? If you're unhappy focus on family, friends, hobbies, anything NOT work to buy time till recruiters won't look twice at your tenure period before moving

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Novartis should have paid you 100k instead so that you will be grateful with 200k that you have now.. don't forget many postdocs (assuming that you are in R&D) are earning ~50k and not complaining.. so be grateful 🥲

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Have you ever been through a “long stretch” of unemployment with nothing to fall back on? I think your package is pretty damn impressive given your age, and yes some gratitude is important. Let me tell you by experience that things can be a LOT less rosy sometimes.

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Money and compensation is not going to make you happy. You could be making millions and still find something you don't have that you need. There's always a bigger house on a better lot in a better neighborhood with better schools.

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I think it's unrealistic to expect your employer to pay you more because you want things you can't afford.

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It's all relative as a lot of ppl will be happy at your level. I just watched System Error the other day on Prime and this post sounds like a real life example: capitalism and its unquenchable thirst for growth.

I'm no commie either but sometimes we gotta acknowledge what is wrong with the system.

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What do you need comp wise to “be grateful”?

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