I’m a Manager and one of my staff always tries to correct me in team meetings/ meetings with our SM. Sometimes they have good catches but their tone is extremely abrasive and it drives me nuts. I don’t necessarily believe someone deserves respect simply for ranking “above” but this is something I’ve never dealt with and makes me not want to work with this person. Any advice for how to address other than “stop trying to make me look bad?”

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I know it can be hard for someone at their level to understand this from the other perspective...chances are they're trying really hard to look good, be valuable and get known but doesn't see it as abrasive to anyone else.

In my first week of consulting I had a director doing a kickoff with the team that said something to the effect of coming across as a cohesive unit/team to the client, so try not to "out" anyone's mistake in a meeting unless it's 100% necessary. And that the good thing about consulting up until you get to the final hand off is that everything you say is a hypothesis and subject to change throughout the analysis, so getting something slightly off now is better than looking like a team at odds with one another. It stuck and I think about it a lot when I hear someone higher pull out wrong data or thinking. Could be one way for you to try.

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Maybe prep meeting before the meeting with your SM so you both are aligned. If they’re correcting you and they’re right, it could be that the abrasiveness is unintentional

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Is the frustration with their tone, timing, or both?

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They may be looking for growth, a sense they are valuable, etc. I would address in 1:1 along with their strengths

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I’ll give an alternative perspective - it can be really, really frustrating when my manager presents something incorrectly (because they aren’t as close to the work), especially when it causes confusion with the partners or misrepresents some work I did.

When that happens, I’ll jump in and steer the convo back on track. Not saying that’s your situation but just a different perspective than what’s been said above.

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Why aren’t you both operating with a similar set of facts? I’d start there

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If they’re doing it to their Manager, they’ll do the same with a client, which will definitely not fly. You’ll be helping them out in the long run by bringing it to their attention.

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