I’m a senior associate in BL and wondering if anyone experiences the same as me. Every morning without fail I have a panic attack, I feel flush, full of anxiety, overwhelmed, heart racing and feel like elephant on my chest. I lie in bed for hours and find it hard to get up until there’s a pressing need, like a call or urgent email. It’s not caused by any specific worry but more just a daily thing (and I work in a relatively good BL practice too). Anyone go through the same? How do you recover?

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No this is not normal and I would take it as a sign to focus on your mental health

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Ok good. I do not experience this but it sounds awful and damaging to your health. Sorry you’re going through this

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Yes. I find the best way to deal with it is to get up, take a shower, and start the day asap. Immediately; don’t hesitate. You don’t have to start working but just start moving. Usually about 60 mins after I’m back to equilibrium and realize everything is fine and the world is not ending. I’m pretty sure is just a chemical biological thing right when you wake up in the morning.

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Yep. Do an urgent actions punchlist right before bed of the first five quick things you must get done in the morning, then crank them over coffee immediately on wake up. You go to sleep with no worries knowing your plan is set, then clear your queue.

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Maybe you have burnout or something similar? Sounds like you need some therapy + serious time off to reset (not like, a week) because you're stuck in a cycle probably

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Also I should mention that this sounds rough as fuck and I'm really sorry you're going through it. I'm junior to you but I can already tell that it is SO EASY for this job to absolutely just fuck you up. To maintain good mental health in biglaw you have to be some combination of really diligent about your mental health, naturally resilient, and also just lucky.
I hope you feel better soon, honestly.

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My anti-depressant blocks most of the panic-attack activity. Also regular brief meditation has reduced the intensity of the panic attacks.

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I laughed and then cried. We have a drug to inhibit everything.

I used to re-read all my outgoing emails before falling asleep to see how embarrassed I should be each day by my work product and communications

Not sure when, but I have since stopped giving a shit about these things

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Therapy, a psychiatrist, and getting out of biglaw.

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OP, you’re describing classic anxiety disorder symptoms. There is really only one answer here—if you want to recover, professional help is critical.

If you don’t get help, this will likely get worse.

This profession is deadline driven so there is naturally a lot of background “anxiety white noise” (as I call it) that insidiously wears you down. If you don’t learn productive ways to manage this anxiety, it will infect other areas of your life.

I recommend starting with an online therapist. It’s the new norm and I’ve loved it for my own schedule.

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I have been working out in the morning (7am-8am) on Monday and Wednesday which I have managed to continue unless I had to stay up past 1am for work the night before. This along with weekend exercise routine helped me a lot with feeling overwhelmed and tired.

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Yes. I have heavily mitigated it by not eating late at night, tracking if particular foods make my stomach hurt, got a CPAP (sleep apnea can cause GI issues especially first thing in the morning), and not checking my phone until I get out of bed.

This was a severe issue for me for a while and the combo of the above helped.

I have had this though I can’t stay in bed because that makes it worse for me for some reason. I have done bilateral stimulation which is one of the only non-medicinal things that has worked for me (there’s an app called anxiety release or something). It’s like meditation but has these little pings added. As the only meds that work for me basically knock me out, it’s the only thing that can get me back from panic attacks.

That said if this is happening every day (for me it’s maybe 2 times a month) you need to see a doctor and/or take a medical leave or at least a vacation. You also might want to see how your blood pressure is, if you have any sleep issues, etc. My anxiety has come down with blood pressure meds and a CPAP.

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