{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’m a traveling most of the time for work.When I’m home like once every other week I feel totally disconnected with my kid and feel he too feels the same.Any-strategies to reverse this alienation 😳😳", "post_id": "5e5a768c4e266c001b8a2268", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 6, "bowl_id": "5e593c84a513c7001dc3c730", "bowl_name": "Strategies For Working Parents", "feed_type": "qa_bowl" }

I’m a traveling most of the time for work.When I’m home like once every other week I feel totally disconnected with my kid and feel he too feels the same.Any-strategies to reverse this alienation 😳😳

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How old is your child? Try using technology to better connect with him. How about recording a “good morning” video and a “good night” video every day and sending it for the caregiver or your spouse to show him when he starts and ends his days. If he is older, you can also incorporate FaceTime - but that’s a hit or miss with younger kids. Buy another set of his favorite toy and take with you on trips and take pictures with it (on the video, you can say something like: I’m showing and telling the monkey (or whatever the toy is) all about my day so that at night when you are sleeping he can tell you about it.

likehelpful

My 2 yr old was hitting me and not wanting me around and the pediatrician suggested making sure I pick her up from school and do bedtime. After a couple days, things improved. You might want to see if your travel schedule can flex.

likehelpful

When my daughter was in her early teens, my wife suggested Saturday Dad/daughter breakfast at a local diner. We did that every week until she graduated high school, still do it whenever possible. I asked all sorts of questions. You don’t say how old your child is, but some kind of scheduled special time might help. Must be consistent, don’t disappoint them by being a no-show.

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Here’s what I do... video chat while I’m gone, listen to what excites my kid, make plans based on what she wants to do when I’m home, then on the wknd, go do something she wants so she’ll be excited. And some weeks I work remotely so I can be available to my child. Speaking w/ most engagement team directors or partners, they’ll typically understand and agree to it.

likehelpful

I think a huge factor is the non traveling parent. They spend a huge amount of time with the children and are role models for relationship with the traveling parent. The child feels disconnected because to them out of site out of mind. The non traveling parent can help support the connection. Such as modeling appreciation when the traveling parent leaves or returns. Reminding the child the other parent loves them so much, they are out working making money for the family. Whenever the child mentions the traveling parent, to express positive messages to the child. And when both parents are home to continue conveying positive messages. The opposite can occur. Not saying this is happening. If the non-traveling parent continuously expresses resentment in front of the child :  "Ughh <other parent>  never does XYZ right."  Ughh I have to do all this work by myself and <other parent> gets to travel all the time. He/She has it so easy!" This sets up the traveling parent as "the bad guy" and the child is confused and starts to treat that parent that way. Unfortunately, I am learning this the hard way. :(

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Obvious question: do you really need to travel that much? Can you come home once a week? What I’ve found since becoming a parent is your job will be more flexible than you think and if you truly, truly prioritize your family, you’ll push back on unreasonable expectations like only being home for one day every other week.

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Kids love predictable routines. Find something you can do every weekend are you are home, and do it without fail. That way the kid knows ‘parent is home this Saturday - that means we’re going to play football in the morning and bake a cake in the afternoon’. Make it something special that is just yours and it will help them bond with you, and give you a great way to reconnect and get into their rhythm.

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I'd also explore an age-appropriate conversation with your kid about why you have to travel for work (how it helps you and your family) and then ask for their suggestions about how to stay connected. This can get them feeling less helpless in the process and lead to some good ideas too.

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Thankyou for your comments and feedback.All relevant and worthy of exploring. This is awesome.Love you all 😀😀😀

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