The Power of Personality Workshop

I'm a woman of color and often times will see men on my team embraced for their passion and deep dives into topics while I'm told that I "shouldn't take projects so personally." Any advice?

likefunny
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon
Posting as :
works at

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 ugh I hear you girl...

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

There is a very fine line between passion coming across as excitement or passion coming across as aggression. If the feedback is a constant with differing personalities and companies perhaps you are taking projects personally, I would suggest you record yourself in meetings on the DL and listen back at how you come across. It helps. Believe me.

Reaction Icon Like
likesmart
Arrow Icon

As long as the personal aspect isn’t distracting, it sounds like they’re doing what so.many.do. in this business: Defining men as passionate, and women as emotional. Eff that. Besides, making things personal is what ignites passion and true understanding. It’s better for the work! When self doubt creeps in, push through it.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Perhaps it is. I would record yourself, listen back and see if there are any phrases you could adjust in the future. If there is nothing (highly unlikely as we all have things we could improve on) Then I would change companies as it’s a personality conflict and you won’t be able to change who they are. And you shouldn’t have to change for advertising.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

I’ve been told not to take things personally when I get angry. I’m angry that important problems are not being solved and I’m blocked from them. Also for context I am hugely appreciated at my company but sometimes I get so passionate about things. I’m not questioning that I need to calm down but the expression “don’t take things personally” irritates me even more, because this job sucks 1/3 of my life out, of course I take things personally. If they said “hey it’s just a job” that’s a way better response imo. It’s the “personally” that makes it sound condescending. Any thoughts on how to respond on the expression itself in an elegant way?

Reaction Icon Like
likehelpful
Arrow Icon

This happens a lot to WOC. An animated and effusive guy is a superstar presenter. You on the other hand, would likely be advised to tone it down. Noticed you never mentioned angry or aggression, but a reply did, suggesting you check yourself. Aggressive, unapproachable and angry are common labels for direct, energetic remarks from WOC especially Latinx and Black women. The feedback about taking things personally is actually ambiguous. And it is loaded with a negative judgement. What exactly does that mean? That you take disagreement as a personal affront? That you are too personally vested in a project? That you care too much? (Do your friends and family give you this feedback too? If not then it’s entirely possible that your pushing back is contextual— are your ideas typically overlooked or not valued? Are there other dynamics at play?) I suggest that when you hear that you say I’d like to understand what you mean by that. Listen carefully and ask follow up questions. But know this is not at all uncommon. It’s normal sadly.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

What you’re explaining is a systemic cultural work issue with women at large, and even more specifically with women of color. And it’s ridiculous. Of course you take your work personally - you are highly passionate about it! Sounds like you’re hot-blooded (one of our virtues), which is an asset when a deep love for what you do pushes you to be enthusiastic, and have an unrelenting fire. On the flip side, highly passionate (and vocal) women can be labeled moody and too intense, which can backfire to men who think they’re the only ones allowed to express themselves. I say keep using your voice, keep sharing your ideas, keep bringing your fire to work. Even better, be vocal about why you’re like this it how it works to benefit the team’s ambitions and works in service of meeting the business goals. Spin it so it’s perceived as your commitment to the greater good. Also, take the quiz to see if your primary virtue is Hot-blooded or one of the other 6. You get an instant overview of your virtue with some good feedback and insights about how to use it, and what to watch out for because of it.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Yep! We’ll provided some thoughts tomorrow!

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

love the Financial Advisor who thought this was funny...

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Ah they just can’t relate.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Additional Posts

Are any consulting firms still hiring experienced people? Looking to transition into consulting

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

When downgrading from the corporate Amex Platinum to the regular green one, how do you transfer points? Or do I just need to use them before downgrading. Thanks

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Can we take shot bottles on planes ✈️ if they don't serve alcohol anymore? Also, is Delta 1st class serving alcohol

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

I'm considering accepting a job where I'd make about 50% less than my total compensation, but I'd get a lot more freedom, creativity, and there would be more growth opportunities. What would you do?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Project was cancelled due to COVID. Start of week 3 on the bench. Have had roles delayed then dissappear. Starting to get anxious, just want to keep my job 😔

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Is MQM rollover only for Diamond Medallions?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

How much do you bench? Trying to get average.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

I have bad Sunday blues. I feel like I should just take xanax and go to bed. I am in a bad covid cycle of binge eating, starving, drinking too much, then being rigidly “good” for a few days then spiraling into the cycle again. I feel doom and can’t get off my couch. I went on vacation w family and had a good time last week. Back home alone I feel in a funk again. Funkier than Cold Medina. Just wanted to share with someone.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Accepted an offer elsewhere...Should i give my two week notice while on the bench? Or one week? or day of?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Anyone heard of OM1? What’s their market trajectory looking like compared to other Health Tech start ups?

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Has anyone tried therapy via Skype (or something similar)? If so, how was your experience? I am struggling to find a psychologist that works weekends...

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Will Guidehouse definitely pay out the remaining vacation balance if someone leaves the firm? Does anyone know if that policy has changed?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

NYU Stern Holiday Party?!

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Salary for a Senior Art Director in Copenhagen?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Ok so if I use the Snapchat makeup filter on my zoom call is it super obvious/ look silly? I'm taking about that really subtle one that clears your face up and adds subtle "eyeliner". Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't want to put makeup on for calls but I look washed out without it lol.

likefunnysmart
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Sebior associate just got stealth fired from a V10 (i.e., there's no business case to promote you in October out of the associate pool because of COVID). Will likely be given a formal recommendation to look elsewhere in September but it seems clear their mind is made up. Any advice? Is there any value in considering an employment lawyer re severance etc? Not sure whether to apply now for jobs ideally starting early next year or to wait and take some time off completely.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

NYC folks: what time should I leave midtown tomorrow morning for a 6:30am flight out of LGA? Terminal B, no Pre-check, AA EP

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

What’s an appropriate compensation ask for a big 4 TAS group, coming into a senior associate role in NYC?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon
likesmart
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

TFW you get the call for an assessment over the holidays and you've been on the bench too long to turn it down.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what’s it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

OR

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

Please enter a valid number