{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’m curious about something. \n\nIf you’re a millennial: do you have or plan to have children? Why or why not?", "post_id": "60bad1dca0cca0002bdc0ec2", "reply_count": 210, "vote_count": 12, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

I’m curious about something. If you’re a millennial: do you have or plan to have children? Why or why not?

likehelpful
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Older millennial. Have 2 young kids and can’t imagine life without them now. However, I was totally indifferent and I don’t think I would have pushed for it if my wife didn’t want kids. Hard to say for sure that I wouldn’t have changed my mind later in life, but having a family for me was primarily because I love my wife and it was essential for her, not because I felt like something was missing or kids would complete the picture. I was very happy having lots of disposable income and traveling whenever the mood struck. But, even for someone like me, once they came along, my heart is overflowing and I especially loved it once my son came along. Seeing the two of them together, and how caring the older one is for her brother, is a special kind of joy. All that said, you do you. I totally get why people would choose to go for a child free life. Being a parent is really hard, and it’s not for everyone (some days I still don’t know if I’m cut out for it!). Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or guilty either way, you live your life!

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Want kids yeah. Makes dating difficult though since most women I'm interested in tend to either not want kids or aren't sure, and personally I don't want to have children with someone who isn't sure they want them as well. It's unfair to everyone involved, especially the kids if they turn out to be a regret for the unsure parent. As for why I want them, just something I've always wanted. I've done a good chunk of the raising of my siblings since I'm the oldest and parents were usually stuck working, so I already know what I'm getting myself into. I can also work from home so can be flexible around the needs of the child vs my partner having to. Things that make me averse to having children though (at least creating new ones vs adoption): - climate change - financial and civic stability (I'm personally fine finance wise but children might be born into a world that's becoming increasingly destabilized, both financially and societally).

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29F, I recently accepted that I do not want children. DINK life for me please.

likeupliftingfunny

"baby rabies"; never heard that term, lol

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I have two tax credits

likefunnyupliftingsmart

This needs more likes lol

25M, Dinks — I’m cut off year for millenials. Yes we will have kids, we have agreed 4-6 is a good number. No real timeline, we are letting God do the family planning for us.

likefunny

We are sending our first kid to college. He is 16. Yeah, maybe some of them are missing out on certain advantages because of how many we have. And maybe they have gained something because of of how many siblings they have.

It’s likely a no for me. I have no need for them. I don’t need extra help around the house, I don’t have a farm. All those extra hands will do is spend my money, eat my food, and breathe my air. I certainly don’t need another bill. The only way I may POSSIBLY be convinced is if I get married and my husband wants them. Otherwise, nah. I’m good with my dawg!

likefunny

Girl!!! 😂😂 @Deloitte2

likefunny

I don’t understand why people see kids vs travel as an either/or. First of all, many people travel with kids. Second, if you only have 1 or 2 kids, you only have maybe 15 years total - maybe less- where they are truly underfoot and a hassle to travel with (a teenager can easily travel). If someone doesn’t want kids, fine, but I imagine most people’s life expectancy on this app is pretty high and have plenty of time for travel even taking out a decade. You can have your cake and eat it too.

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This assumes you will have children without long-term disabilities.

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My wife and I have an 11-month old with another one on the way. I truly felt like my life was a series of random events until I had my first child. It’s given me a complete feeling of purpose and I feel the strongest love I have ever felt in my life for my daughter. Take it from me: you will NEVER feel like you are ready to have kids until you that day comes. Make sure your finances are in a good spot and that you can still fulfill your other dreams and hobbies, but most people don’t really plan it out, it just comes to them when they are ready.

likeupliftinghelpful

Congrats!

34f, getting married next summer. Both of us are still not sure. We like our life and after years of crappy paying jobs and student loans, we only very recently got into the jobs we want at the pay we want. We finally have money to travel and do other things we enjoy. And then we lost of whole year of that with COVID. I’m so torn about this decision and it feels like I’m running out of time to make it.

likefunny

@A3, I’m looking in to freezing mine and after initial my consult, I was told with no insurance it would be $7,500 + the cost of medications for one cycle. The storage fee is $55/month. Since I have insurance, I’m assuming that $7500 will be reduced. The wide range in cost depend on your fertility and how many cycles would be recommended.

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29f I have three kids. My oldest I had at 23, unplanned, I had previously dropped out of college and was doing nothing productive with my life. When I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend (now husband) and I both got back into school. Six years later, were married with two more little ones. He’s almost done with his PhD in pharmaceutical engineering and I’m one of the highest paid people at my company. Honestly, sometimes no plan is the best plan. Worked out for us!

likeuplifting

Our kids aren't perfect by any means, but they know how to travel, and how to speak politely to adults. Apart from that, they are amazing humans, who are kind,respectful, and the loves of our lives.

NO! Taking care of children is totally unappealing to me! The responsible thing to do if you don’t want to take care of children is not to have them!

likefunny

I do not want kids. I have no interest in being a mother. I will say that I’m at the age where a lot of my friends are married or getting married and trying for kids. It’s going to be interesting to see how those friendships evolve (or don’t) because I sincerely don’t like spending time around kids at all.

likefunny

I'm not telling you to have kids. I will tell you I was you. No desire for kids. No real liking for other people's kids. Figured u couldn't be trusted with a kid of my own - what if I lost it somewhere, right? So anyway. If you are nor firmly against kids, which is a valid choice, beware, you could end up like me. People love to watch us in airports, because my five kids know how to get through security faster than anyone else!

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I am 33, married and still 50/50 (husband has a similar mindset).

likefunny

That’s good to hear! I usually get the opposite response which is way more negative “if you’re 50/50 at this point, probably shouldn’t have them” Also, I’ve been on the pill for forever so it would have to be an active decision on my part to stop it... maybe I should go off at 35 and see where life takes me haha

I plan on having kids and being a stay at home mom. It was something my fiancé and I discussed and were on the same page about early on.

likeuplifting

I don’t think is controversial as long is a choice and not is not forced on women. I honestly would love to be a stay home dad.

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Gen x. Didn't plan any of these five kids, but delighted with them.

likehelpful

Gen X didn’t have kids until almost 40. Before 35 not interested in kids at all. You might change your mind, you might not....the cruel problem is it can be more difficult to get pregnant the older you are. I don’t regret my situation but could have had a fulfilling life without too. Just be true to yourself and ignore the “when are you going to have kids” questions. They do get old.

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They came before the plan 🤷🏽‍♂️

likeupliftingfunny

31F and married. We’re planning on it, but if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay too.

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35f/married and leaning towards probably not. The responsibility on top of passing on mental illness (potentially very serious as is the case with an immediate relative, let alone my own struggles) as well as addiction. I don’t think I can bear the thought of continuing such a lineage of pain.

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VP1 Adoption is also something we’re discussed. Many of the issues that run in my family are polygenetic and heavily influenced by the home environment.

likeuplifting

Older millennial here and have a kid in school, I can finally breath, get some Botox and hop back to grind for more income 🤦🏻‍♀️ good thing is that my kid is a genius and we do a lot of cool stuff together like traveling and going to the spa like girlfriends.

likefunny

Would depend on significant other and finances. Right now I have neither, though the financial situation is fine, just don't have a child fund yet. I don't want to be in the position of my parents, where the only household arguments were pretty much solely about money. Those were very stressful. Family of 6.

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Came from a blended family of 6. I'm sure there were struggles, and our family has the usual issues, but...my siblings, all of them, are my best friends and we turn to each other in trouble. I understand this isn't always the case - my husband is from a much smaller family, and they are estranged. Just goes to show - not family size, but the family. And if you came from a bad family, you can be the transitional figure.

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No, but my dad was 48 when he had me so i figure ive got time to change my mind.

likeupliftingfunny

On the border between Millennial/Gen Z… probably will adopt because I don’t want to be pregnant or go through labor.

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SAME. One thing that doesn’t come up very often in these discussions is the risk of labor and the insane amount of stress and change it causes to our bodies. I would be lying if I said that wasn’t one of my biggest concerns. Considering the adoption route as well.

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