I’m currently going through a divorce, and want to be honest/transparent, but don’t wanna scare anyone off either. Mention it during first or second date? Before the date while texting? What’s best?

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Up front imo

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PwC2, I agree. I ask the question, too... it's not at all a too personal or private q to me. Can't imagine getting to a date without knowing.

I've been through this. I think its worth mentioning on the second date. Potentially 3rd. I dont see any sense in telling someone that is a complete stranger that you might not even like to begin with. If you do think there will be more than three dates get to know them first and then let them know and let them decide.

For reference, every guy I dated was completely ok with it when I told them. My divorce was pretty long unfortunately

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I’ve been told this twice. I prefer to know prior to a first date. Neither time it bothered me because the people and their exes weren’t even living in the same major city, so it was apparent they had taken steps to move on. There’s a lot of conversation even before a first date sometimes, mentioning this seems fair, so that everyone is on the same page.

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Why not wait until after divorce is final? Otherwise it’s like you are on the rebound.

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The divorce is taking a long time and I don’t want to keep waiting. We’ve been split up (not living together) this entire year. I’m ready to start seeing people and seeing where it goes

I would want to know up front, and in fact if you waited until the second or third date to tell me that you are still married, there likely wouldn't be another date. Maybe you feel ready to move on, but that's material information others should have so they can decide whether they want to entangle themselves in your situation.

Edit: I've been here, started dating while my divorce was still pending after 8 months. But I was upfront in my app profile that I was separated. The divorce drama, which I'm sure you have as well since it's dragged on for a year, will be an influence in your life immediately and long term.

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I have it on my profile so that the ladies know about it in advance and it’s not a surprise.

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Don’t be afraid of scaring them off: if you’re talking to someone who doesn’t want to date you based on the status of your divorce, it’s in your best interest to know that sooner.

Personally, I don’t date people who’ve been legally divorced less than a year (cue all the jokes about why I’m still single 😂), so I’d be definitely want to know as early on as possible.

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I agree with the above. I would want to know upfront. I won't date anyone who is separated, going through a divorce or recently divorced. I'm looking for a long term relationship. I don't want to invest my time in someone where I'll turn out to be just a rebound.

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If I was your date, I would appreciate knowing while texting before the date.

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All depends if you’re M or F

lol.. you seem to be biased towards M

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