I’m entirely burnt out and considering a career shift. I just can’t keep up with a job that limits me to seeing my son to < 2 hrs a day. How are other people managing?!

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I feel like I’m already heavily judged for leaving work at 5:15 to get home in time before my sons daycare closes at 6. That and my lack of desire to do the client dinners (which mean not seeing him), travel (more not seeing him), and happy hours (even more not seeing him) make me feel like I can’t stay in this job anymore

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I moved internally, more flexibility and option to wfh. I couldn’t do the be in front of client at all times and share whenever I needed to be out with 40 people (exaggerating, but sharing with the team and client). For some f-ing reason when your a consultant people - your team and client- forget your a human that is responsible for little humans and life happens. I’m on a short term internal assignment, about 1.5 years but it’s a much needed break and I don’t think I will go back. Though I miss the thrill. I can’t emphasize though how much better my kids are doing now that I’m not exhausted from my days and also have time to actually be around for the little things. I’m truly grateful.

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I don’t think it’s a big deal at all to miss dinners and happy hours. Make your presence felt when you’re on site and it’ll all work out.

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I’m in a similar situation and I laid out a “plan” for myself:
- decide on times to be in office and what social events I want / need to attend
- tell my supervisors and my staff what my schedule is so they can manage expectations
- tell my husband exactly what I need from him (childcare, housework etc)

The challenge is that I have to plan in advance and communicate it. I have offered to be more flexible if advanced notice is given but made it clear that childcare is a big deal and I do not have a 24hr caregiver for my baby.

I’m tired of pretending like my baby doesn’t exist when at work. He is a real person with needs and I have to (and want to!) attend to him! Generally I feel women should not hide the motherhood aspect of their life when at work. If we are collectively more open about it, I think it will be easier to gain flexibility.

If I cannot make it work, the plan is to move to industry.

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Love it! I literally birthed another person and they depend on me (and my husband) for food, safety etc. Why do we make this seem like it’s no big deal?

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I moved to an internal role for this reason- and we have two kids. Make your choice based on life- work will follow. I chose to “pause” according to client services standard to have flexibility but honestly, as years go by I don’t think anyone will see that I paused.

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Was in FS

Feel exactly the same way, and I don’t know how people manage! I don’t even get to do daycare pickup right now—husband/grandparents do it

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Mine is 2! He definitely is a pain/tantrum-y sometimes (and some days we count down til bedtime!), but I still feel sad about just missing 4 days a week with him. I also feel guilty about leaving my husband with everything. He’s supportive of whatever I want to do, but like we signed up to be equal parents (like that’s our ultimate goal).

Please talk to someone at work about this. Partner or SM. These are the years where women drop out of consulting. Ask for something. They can say no but at least you asked. I asked to work from home for 2 days a week for 3 years! They said yes bc the client loved me. That got me through the tough times. But you need to ask instead of assuming they will say no.

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It’s sad that despite all the WLB talk we still can’t get rid of all those activities outside the office (dinners and HH). I barely go and I know it affects my career. Not sure there’s a solution

Plan and attend more things during office hours. I go to all kinds of lunch and learns, panels, solution cafes etc all between 9-5 and feel this gets my brand out.

I recently moved to the west coast and I’m now also missing out on morning time with my little guy due to early calls. The last couple of weeks have been particularly tough due to holiday events. I’m really looking forward to the holidays to spend more quality time!

You got this!

Left consulting while the baby is young (I actually can't switch my industry in the app so I enjoy following you all still). I would rather immerse myself in another job with boundaries for WLB than working an internal role at a consulting firm. I would love to hear it working out for others though.

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