I’m falling for him fast. Way faster than he is falling for me. I’m ready to lock in being exclusive while he still “needs more time to get to know me” I’m dating other people to try and keep my mind of him but even during those dates all I can do is think of him, how he would act in this particular moment and compare my other dates to him. I don’t know how to stop. It’s taking everything in me to not reach out to him at this moment.

likefunnysmart
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Go to therapy and work on what you think he symbolizes. I'll guarantee you you're in love with a concept, not reality, and by attaching greater significance and urgency to this, you up-end your own mental health as well as the chance of this relationship growing organically, and sustainably.

likehelpfulsmart

Those are good points BCG1. The only thing is I wouldn’t say I love him. I like him enough to be want to be in his presence more. Even if it last 3 months, 3 years, a lifetime at least I know we tried.

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Girl I hate to tell you this but I don’t think this is going to work out. You are 150% for this guy and he is in “still getting to know you” land.

Save yourself and cut ties now, while you still have some pride.

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OP the situation you’re describing sounds like one I was in not too long ago. We dated non-exclusively for 4 months and I fell hard. In the end he wasn’t ready for a relationship and the signs were there but I didn’t want to see them because everything felt perfect when we were together. Take this with a grain of salt though. You are different people in a different situation so I won’t claim to predict the future. It’s good that you’re going to therapy—that would’ve been my first recommendation. My next would just be to protect your heart and pay attention to his words and actions (or lack thereof) when you’re *not* together

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You’re worthy of love without having to earn it or audition for it. I’d echo the person above who said you’re in love with your own image of him, not necessarily reality. To play devils advocate for you, what’s wrong with continuing to get to know him at a slow pace? Don’t term it “his pace” just a slow pace. Don’t you want all the information you can get before making a commitment to someone, especially since you seem to take relationships seriously? You mentioned above moving to a slower town where quality matches are few and far between. I’ve been there and thought the same but ya know what? I’ve always been wrong that there are more people out there that are wonderful. Don’t rush something due to a scarcity mindset, you will find the right person and it will feel natural not forced.

uplifting

I mean, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, so you don’t need to stop. There’s no rules about catching feelings. If he needs more time to get to know you, just focus on quality time. But long run make sure they’re equally excited about you!

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2 months? Yeah he’s not that into you. Let him go and find someone who’s sure. 2 months is more than enough time to know. I give them 1 month max. All the guys I ended up in a relationship with were actually exclusive with me from date 1 (they initiated)

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To the streets

funny

🏃‍♀️💨💨

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Are you sure this is “falling” in love or an insecure style of attachment?

If he’s not sure about you after 2 months, do think he’s going to be sure after 3? 6? A year?

Nope.

Life is too short. Go be happy elsewhere

How long have you been dating?

Technically we’ve been on ~6 dates in person. ( saying that feels weird because it feels more than that amount because our dates are hours long and we have deep conversation about family, growing up and views if the world, etc. Our last date was 2 days long with plans for Saturday and Sunday with me sleeping over. We’ve been “talking” since January with 2 months of no communication.

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