I’m feeling down. 😢 After 3 failed IVFs with the last one ending in a chemical pregnancy I sought the opinion of a second fertility doctor. She said given my age of 45, my husband and I had the same chances of getting pregnant with another round of IVF with my own eggs as I would naturally and wouldn’t move forward with IVF, only with egg donor. My AMH is 2.6 and FSH was 7.4 just this past month. Should I ignore her and seek a third opinion? Not quite ready to go down the egg donor route yet.

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Your feeling is totally valid. Statistically speaking, your chance to convince with your own eggs and carry a healthy baby to full term is not impossible, but it is just very small. So now the question that you need to ask yourself is: do you want to spend more time with a second opinion on this OR just start the egg donor process? Remember, even with egg donor, you are still in high risk pregnancy because of age. You need to be honest with yourself, and have an open conversation with your partner (if applicable). When we went down to this journey, my husband and I decided to try 3 cycles of IVF AT MOST, if it doesn't work, we would move on to adoption. There are so many kids in the world that need a home. Again, this is all personal choice and it is entirely up to you.

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Thank you for bringing up adoption as an option. I’m not opposed to it if the egg donor route doesn’t work, but right now my husband isn’t as open to it.

I feel in time his opinion could change. I myself used to think if I couldn’t have a baby with my own eggs through IVF then that was it and I would not go through the egg donor route. But now I’m willing to consider it more. Maybe if after going that route doesn’t work, he might also open up his mind to adoption.

I went through this process. I had babies with donor eggs. Once they were here, I didn’t even think about genetics. They are my babies period. Doesn’t even cross my mind. And, google epigenetics. I believe in this. Good luck!

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So happy for you and your babies, SM1! Thank you for your good wishes. 🤗 I just looked up epigenetics and IVF. That’s a very interesting concept and that’d be great if it works out that way. I was a PhD candidate of Molecular Medicine in a past life and believe there is truth in it too.

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If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I would get another opinion. It sounds like you can still make embryos and your AMH is good. Did you do PGT on your prior rounds?

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We didn’t do PGT and my first doctor was onboard with the decision. She says given my age any abnormal embryos would self-resolve and not make it. I had 6 eggs, 4 eggs and 9 eggs retrieved during my 3 cycles. Two day 5 blastocysts were transferred each time and the rest didn’t make it to be frozen.

I feel you 1000%. But here I am at the donor phase. Multiple rounds of failed IVF. I've grieved and grieved and still not 100% but moving fwd bc my chances are better. Still there is no guarantee. Trying with my own eggs felt like I was just in denial. Took me over a year to get there.

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I really appreciate you sharing your experience. Sending hugs to you for your struggle too. 💖

I’m currently not working now and my husband’s company won’t offer egg donor coverage until next month so we’re waiting to see how much we’d have to pay out of pocket if we go that route. Our insurance coverage offers up to another $25K for IVF if needed so I still want to try while we have the option. Maybe I will end up going the egg donor route by the end of the year. Just have to mentally be ready for it.

Hey there we are in the same position. I’m 44, I’ve had 4 failed rounds with IVF and decided that donor egg route would be the only way fwd. we just recently had a chemical pregnancy with a donor egg. We have another 4 in freezer which is reassuring so just waiting for the right time to have another transfer. It took us a lot of time and conversations to get comfortable with the idea of going down the donor route and now that we are there, it feels like we have renewed hope. Wishing you the best of luck xx

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Yep, I’d follow what your doctor thinks. We opted for the PGT testing, so we didn’t have a fresh option anyway. If we didn’t do the testing, I’d have done a fresh! But for $20k? No way. Get those babies on ice :)

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You need to look at stats and decide what is right for you. Im 43 and doctors are telling me that my eggs are scrambled. Yiu cant get a baby from genetically abnormal eggs, no matter how much you want them.

Do you want a baby or only your baby?

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That’s a fair point and I’ve thought about this a lot. I’ll still hoping genetics is on my side. My sister just had her second daughter naturally at 42 and my maternal grandmother had my uncle when she was at 46, and both are totally normal (baby/adult). Granted they both had been pregnant before and I know that helps to prime the body and make it more ready to be pregnant again.

My first doctor is willing to do more IVF rounds since she says my stats are really amazing for someone my age, but I just felt the clinic was just a bit impersonal since it was a different doctor each time for my egg retrievals and transfers.

In the end when it happens I know I’ll feel very blessed to become a mom, either with my own eggs or with a donor’s egg.

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